Posts Tagged ‘purebred dogs’

No Bad Dogs(LOL)

July 9, 2020

Remember Barbara Woodhouse? She was a dog trainer who claimed that there were no bad dogs.I always thought her to be naive. if you work with dogs, you know there are bad dogs. People breed bad dogs because they have no integrity and are only breeding dogs to sell as livestock—just to make money off of. They are not breeding dogs to improve their line or for the betterment of any breed. If you work with dogs long enough, you learn that most are smaller dogs. Yes, some are ‘Pit Bulls’, and the aberrant dogs of other breeds (Shiba Inu, Lagotto Romagnolo, even Scottish and Sealyham Terriers), but for the most part, the ‘bad dogs’ tend to be the types of dogs people want to carry around: purse dogs. They don’t come from ethical hobby breeders, not for the most part. They come from people who are breeding dogs to sell to people with money. Those people won’t ask about genetics. The buyers just assume the breeders have integrity. By far, the worst are Boston Terriers, French Bulldog, Jack Russell terriers, Lhasa Apsos…and mixes of those breeds.

I had a client who told me, when she started making excuses for her Yorkshire Terrier being aggressive, “Don’t allow in a small dog behavior you would not tolerate in a large dog.” She was right. It’s not cute, It’s dangerous. Those little dogs have teeth, and have no bite inhibition.

All the times I have been bitten badly enough by a dog to require emergency treatment, it’s been by a small dog. Why did those dogs bite me? In a couple of cases, the dogs had become demented by disease and old age. But the other times, the dogs just didn’t like what I was doing to them— likely cutting their toenails. They were not frightened. they were telling me who the boss was.

Rarely do I groom bad dogs, but we still have a few. Just the other day, I was waiting for a dog whom I knew was bad: Charlie. Charlie is, allegedly, a ‘cav-a-poo’. That is, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel crossed with Poodle. Maybe he is. I have no idea. Charlie was allowed to be the boss by his owners, and he never liked having his feet picked up or his face f touched. I learned to work around his idiosyncrasies, but should I have had to? I put right on his grooming card several years ago: #3 muzzle. I put it on him as soon as I get him on the grooming table. I’m always as gentle as I can possibly be. It does me no good to abuse the dogs, but the problem is usually owners in denial.

Charlies’ owners are Russians. They act entitled. They don’t care whom they inconvenience. They know we want all dogs into the shop between eight and nine in the morning, but they don’t care. They think they should arrive when it’s convenient for them…or maybe not at all. They don’t care if they cost us money.

Due to circumstances, my boss/coworker and I decided we have nothing to lose by raising his price a bit over 10%. We are fed up with accomodating people who think we should b pay them for the privilege of playing with their dogs. That’s not what we do.

It’s not lost on me that I make a living cutting dog hair when I have lived in countries where most people could not afford to buy a decent pair of shoes. Can you imagine explaining to normal people in Africa that people pay you to give dogs haircuts? I don’t even get into the fact that most of these dog owners have college loan debt, and really can’t afford the service I provide, but that’s capitalism.

Then, there are people in the pet industry deciding we should now call dog owners  …pet parents. I swear, the world—or at least the United States, has gone mad.


This —-from my sister. Ut didn’t reallyhappen to her. I want to preface this by saying I think the citronella collars are very humane. The dog corects himself, and usually, it takes just 1 poof of citronella, and they get the idea:

The neighbors had been complaining that my dogs have been barking non-stop. I hate the electric zapping bark collars so I purchased humane citronella collars. When a dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose, and apparently, they don’t like it.
This evening I was getting the collar ready and filled it with the citronella liquid. And that’s where my evening should have ended. But no, it’s me, and I begin to become curious as to “how” the collars actually work.
So I’m standing by my back door “barking” at my dog’s collar. Nothing happens. I make sure it’s turned on, check the fill level, and go through the “getting started” checklist one more time. Again, I bark. Nothing happens. Now I’m not quite sure, why I had this next thought, but I did…I put the collar on. I seriously extended the band and fit the growl box against my throat and barked. Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face.
I began coughing, which only caused the collar to continue squirting bug spray over and over into my nasal cavity. I’m now on my hands and knees in my back yard, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, the dogs are barking. So between coughing and yelling at them to stop, I’ve emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face. During all of this ruckus, I’m trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut during this whole fiasco.
I finally get the collar off and threw, yes I threw that inhumane thing across the yard, and lay in the grass sucking in the humid evening air. In the middle of thinking this is probably the dumbest thing I’ve done in a while, I hear laughter. MY NEIGHBOR SAW THE WHOLE THING! He was laughing so damn hard, he couldn’t breathe. Between gasps, he tells me, “I was gonna come help, but every time I started to come over, you’d set it off again, and then I would start laughing and couldn’t make it.” So now, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too. After checking to make sure I was ok, we parted ways and I went in to shower so I wouldn’t smell like ode de’ Tiki Torch.
Lesson learned: next time (yes, there will always be a next time with me) make sure that:
1. Don’t fill the collar before trying to set it off.
2. Remember your neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedy crisis situation.
On the plus side, I won’t have a mosquito problem for a few days!

Ad for Polyandress

June 10, 2020

What does it mean to act with integrity? Is it telling the truth? Being fair? Being accountable to your community?

 Daler an engineer who falls into being a rock star is sure he’s in love, but Amara, a dog groomer and trainer, is more pragmatic. Their lives are so different. They meet again while Amara is mentoring an athlete who thinks he wants to breed dogs.


The Fancy is Killing the Fancy (I Learned This Promoting Polyandress)

April 29, 2020

My Saluki as a young dog. Sold as a pet, he finished his AKC championship in fewer than 10 shows. His breeder trained him—& didn’t charge for the training!

I’ve been publicizing my book, Polyandress an erotic romance that a dog fancier( a groomer and trainer), has with a boy who seduced her, the child of a man her grandfather bought as a slave in the 1950s:

Slavery occurs in much of the world, still, and the scenario I wrote is very plausible. In many places, slaves were allowed to buy their freedom which was the debt the slaveowner had incurred to get a servant. As I wrote the store, the character’s father was very clever and learned the business his owner was in. After learning the business, he became relatively successful.  The son became a rock star. It’s an erotic genre.

In any case, I wrote this character young because when I was in my 20’s, in the 1970s, it happened to me several times: a very young teenage boy tried to seduce me. More, I had the experience, as a teenager, learning about sex from a boy not much older than I, and he became my husband.

I had also spent some time in this part of the world and I had an academic research background. That’s why the story starts in Africa. There was no statutory rape in this part of Africa. I heard it from many African men, “If she looks old enough, she is old enough.” Nobody would ever in a million years question if a boy was old enough. He’d know if he was old enough.

Why did I make this part of the story? I was addressing aspects of integrity. I had my female character address it to the teenager:  that he had to keep perspective. To make this part of the story, I had to make him a rock star who would have the money and the means to travel. But the non-sexual part of the story is that the female character is hired to help a guy train his dogs. He thinks he wants to breed them and she tells him what people who really love dogs do. They do a lot.

I didn’t know anything about writing or self-publishing or finding an editor, but I got a story that holds together.

How do I get people to read the story? I have to market it myself, and I selected dog groomers, Returned Peace Corps Volunteers, and dog people in general.

I’d contact the various kennel clubs, the specialty clubs first, and ask people to buy and read my book. & yes, it’s an erotic romance. Is it smut? Nobody gets hurt. There’s no violence. There’s a discussion about how people learn about sex and sexual expression, and what keeps people from making mistakes, particularly regarding relationships.

Prototype cover without the dogs & title.

I keep defending this, but as much as the ‘genre’ is the issue on ‘the fanciers’ side, the AKC has not assisted the club in marketing themselves at all.

How did I find the clubs? By going to the AKC web database, which is not the most intuitive thing to use. If I didn’t have a background in dogs & know the clubs, and who’s in charge of what, I couldn’t do this.

The biggest problem is that the local clubs don’t generally keep up their links with the parent club: “(The Breed) Club of America” or American (breed)Club.  Sometimes, the pages no longer exist and the domain name is for sale…to any puppy miller. Or it a has been bought (at leas the URL—call your club whatever you want, but do you want the link you forgot about to go to an architectural firm in Taiwan—or a commercial breeder?).   Other problems include; there is no way to contact the club through the website. You actually have to Google the Club by name & they MAY have a Facebook page, but they may or may not have a ‘send message’ or ’email’ link. It depends on who in the club is savvy.

Now I can sort of maneuver the database because I have a good idea of the names of the clubs—but what if you don’t know the actual name of the club?  Say, you Google ‘Afghan Hounds Chicago.’ If a breeder has those Google adwords, the Afghan Hound Club of Greater Chicago won’t show up—or worse, the club website will show up, but none of the links work, so you can’t contact the club. So you go to any breeder, but what if you just want to hang with Afghan Hound lovers? Sorry…you are S. O. L.

Now, what if you don’t know the name of a breed. Say, you only can name a few breeds: German Shepherd, Golden Retriever, Labrador Retriever, Poodle, Dachshund, Husky, Cocker Spaniel, English Bulldog, Shih Tzu, Boston Terrier, Chihuahua, Pug. You aren’t going to go looking for a Keeshond or Norwegian Elkhound. Funny(not) thing: People know what Pomskies are. Although they are a cross between a Pomeranian and a Siberian Husky, more people know what they are than …Keeshond or Norwegian Elkhounds. So—those club should buy the Googe adwords for ‘POMSKY’…like the Irish Water Spaniel, the Spanish Water Do0g, Portuguese Water Dog, and Barbet fancies should bu all the Google Adwords for all the Doodles: labra-, Golden-, Berna-, Sheepa–, Newfa….doodles. Chances are the people looking for Doodles want the PREDICTABILITY of a purebred dog, but have never heard of those breeds.

There are so many breeds the public doesn’t know.  & yet another problem is…the club doesn’t have a newsletter or even a local listserv. Or worse—a conservative Christian gatekeeper as secretary, who has accused me of peddling smut.

Yeah, I guess it is. Dang me, describing acts of sexual pleasure than don’t involve intercourse or making babies. God forbid a teenager should get a hold of Polyandress and find out you can have great sex without risking health, life, and pregnancy. And— you might learn what ethical breeders do when they love purebred dogs and want to see the breeds thrive into the future.

Love in the Time of the New Normal: The Muse

April 2, 2020

Me at the resale store 15 years ago.

Please bear with me.  I am  publicizing Polyandress:

I am told a link for Kindle will be up shortly.  Still happy to send out pdfs of manuscript IF YOU WILL REVIEW  THE BOOK ON A WEBSITE OR IN A NEWSLETTER OR ON FACEBOOK!

If I wasn’t living it, I’d swear this could not be happening. Since Trump was elected, we all kept saying, “Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does.” We lost the EPA, a society girl who never taught is in charge of education. He turned the government over to the swamp dwellers. He actually banned people from some countries from coming over unless they were Christians! One of his first executive orders was to get rid of the rule that made professional investment advisors fiduciaries.

My life was normal and mundane….

This is the guy

Whenever PoF  (Plenty of fish) sends me a notice, I check guys out, and most guys, I can tell, have not read my profile and are  just looking at  boobs. I saw his profile , his photo, but saw immediately that he was too young…. but what a smile. It stayed with me.  But he messaged me!  So I asked him why he wanted a woman old enough to be his mother.  What he said was that he had better relationships with women my age. That we were more serious, and he wanted consistency.  I asked him where he lived, and he said, “In the western suburbs.”  I am along the lakefront, so I asked him which, and he responded, “Dekalb.” For those who can look at a map, DeKalb is a small college town. It is not a suburb.  It is 60 miles away.  He countered with Crystal Lake being a suburb. Barely…it is just as far—McHenry County. I am still pretty skeptical. But that smile. Oh, baby.  The photos are real, and he’s not posing with a fish or little kids.  The  1 photo with the dog . At least it’s not a Doodle or designer dog.

I  email him that  I groom and train dogs (what kind of dog is that he has? It looks like a Cane Corso, or is he just a huge Pit Bull?)  I put myself through undergrad by grooming—-also, I didn’t go to college until I was 30.  I got an assistantship to grad school, helped by a  photographer who was a professor.

I come from a family of visual artists, and I used to create a lot of visual art, but sculpting dog hair satisfies that desire to create. I have a portfolio of art people have done of me, and that includes stereoscopic slides. I am really into that kind of stuff. In fact, I was in Barcelona in November just to see the art.  It was a great trip. he apparently doesn’t travel.

 I ask…Do you have siblings?  I have 2 younger sisters & 1 younger brother. We are not close, but we stay in touch—except my brother. A longish story.   Are your parents still alive?  My mother died in her early 40s from lung cancer. My father is 93 & in a nursing home in Buffalo Grove—less than a mile from my stepmother.

I haven’t really been ‘dating’.  I haven’t had sex with a man in 3 years.  I am on several sites and I am planning on withdrawing my profile because, for the most part, it isn’t working.  Lots of scammers (which is why I now ask men, when they claim to live in Chicago, what neighborhood they live in.  If you live in Chicago, you know your neighborhood).  Then, there are the men who are not honest, and the Christians (that just doesn’t work for me…I have no intention of giving a blow job to a man who supports a church that views me as heathen or evil).  I may as well be blunt about it.  That said…

 I continue:  My first lover was my ex-husband, and he was very adventurous and wanted to try things I would have never dreamed of doing, but I was just 15 & he was 16, so cut me some slack.  As good as the sex was, we had other differences. We were together 10 years then divorced after 2 years of marriage. Then, by chance, I met a really interesting guy who lived just ½ mile away.  Proximity is important, but we’ll see how this goes.  He was an amazing lover, but he wasn’t prepared to be monogamous & moved away. Then I dated and rarely saw any guy more than once. Nobody was that exciting.  I was with a Zambian guy getting his Ph.D.  at Northwestern,  extremely funny, very clever, but he saw himself as an elite and we really weren’t on the same page.   It so happened that a guy came into my social circle. He was a few years younger than I, and a virgin (obviously), and my friends said it was my responsibility to correct that, so I seduced him.  He was also a very good lover….but he was getting a Ph.D. in mass communications, and unless I started a conversation, we had none.  That made me crazy and I gave up and didn’t date. This was the 1980s. 

I was a founder of a community-based recycling project and met a guy who worked for the city, and we seemed to have a lot in common and he was adorable…but it didn’t take long to learn that he just wasn’t into me.  He was really unreliable, and told me what was important to him—& it wasn’t me. He didn’t want to meet any of my friends and didn’t want me to meet his friends. I will not allow that to happen again. He was genuinely shocked when I went into the Peace Corps.

When I returned, I did start seeing him again, but it still wasn’t good.  I bet he wouldn’t think it, but he was very sexually conservative with me.  I’m not into kinky:  I don’t want to be spanked, dress up, don’t want a threesome.  But I do enjoy oral sex and you can have great sex without intercourse. Tell me now if this isn’t you….because it gets better…or worse…

 I lived alone and contracted to host foreign students for the summer, and that’s how I got my roommate. He’s very reliable, but he’s like Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory.  I am not his cup of tea, and that’s fine. I have since learned that this is very common among Japanese men of his generation.  That he puts up with me is amazing, but I respect his boundaries.

Due to a traumatic incident just after I returned from Spain, just over a year ago, I was thinking of writing about integrity.  But nobody wants to read about integrity. So,  1 thing led to another and I wrote an erotic romance. My youngest sister is a ‘beta reader’ for people who write gay porn, as I call it—in the science fiction genre, and she read my draft and said I had something: Polyandress.  In the past year, I learned a lot about the publishing industry and genre, and I’ve got other stories in the works.  So I decided to see what was out there, joined a bunch of dating sites, and found…nothing. Women my age are too old to believe in romance and fairy tales.  Liars.  Christians who don’t think it should matter what I believe, or know what a moral compass is.  Broke guys/negative cash flow….  Guys looking for sweet girls (I am not sweet), or ‘a nurse and a purse’.

Uh, no.  So I am impressed that he is an entrepreneur and owns his own home, and has a dazzling smile. My father was a businessman, and I’ve had 2 businesses. 1 I sold and the other I closed while still profitable.  After returning from the Peace Corps, I briefly worked for a micro-lending agency for low-income women.

While I am not interested in viewing pornography, I watch this  video of Freddie Mercury constantly: 

This video was put up  30 years after it was recorded, 20 years after he died. His bandmates understood what the public wanted.

In any case, my book is not great literature, but it gets its point across,  and as I describe my male character, Daler Singh, physically,  this is as close as I will get—except I have Daler being Sikh. 

He’s Sikh because he’s a minority wherever he goes, and always has to fit it in. So it must be an omen. This is the guy I want. Now, to learn the hoops I have to jump through.

I wrote that and we did talk on what’s app, and he seemed surprised that I was attracted to him.  & not  5 days later, the first quarantine was ordered.

So, end of day 2 of the great Covid19  nightmare. Science fiction brought to life by arrogance, stupidity, a poor educational system influenced by religion, and …this is not going well,  At least the weather is decent, but I’m trying to be productive and get to all the tasks you say you will get to ‘when you have the time’.  One thing I’ve put off for about a month—is steam cleaning the rugs.  Quite a project because my rugs are all different sizes and materials, and a couple of them should really be sent out for cleaning.  Then, the ever-present weeding out papers that were kept for tax purposes or research or whatever.  I can come up with a few time wasters.

 I  started seeing this holistic physician, and she gave me a bunch of vitamins, and it was like a miracle. My bursitis disappeared,   I’ve lost weight, and  I’ve developed more than an academic interest in sex.

Justin Goh did a fantastic job of putting this together. from a pose 1988

Also, it seems I’ve met my muse.  This is a shock, but I’m delighted.  This guy is just what I was looking for, but I wouldn’t have because I have a sense of propriety now (or I did!)   Tony Pfeiffer told me I had no sense of propriety, and I responded, “But that’s why you’re seeing me…because I have no sense of propriety!”

He’s young, mid 30’s. I’d say too young, but I’ve already written about the guy who was too young and wasn’t too young. That smile.  Ask my friends:  a dazzling smile gets me all the time.  And long legs. Also, bearded guys—at least nicely trimmed.  Freddie Mercury’s my type, through all the looks except when he shaved for Barcelona.   But Freddie in leotards, and those short short shorts, with his shirt off…am I drooling?

At this point, I am letting my fantasies run away with me, because except for a phone chat, we haven’t met, we’ve just seen photos of each other. He wants to be with an older woman, I want to be with a young man.  I believe we can carry on a conversation. He’s very upbeat.

However, now we’re in social isolation.  I’m wondering how far we want to go on the phone.  These are really desperate times!

Day 3

I learned you can get quite far on the phone.  By asking the right questions, we got to know each other a little better. He’s as adventurous as I had hoped.  Let’s see if we can keep it up.

Day 4.

The Hoover Steam-Vac broke yesterday.  The motor works, but I believe the hoses are plugged up—with dog hair.  I called my vacuum cleaner repair guy (yes, I have 1!), and he said  that if it’s over 10 years old, it’s not worth fixing,

This means I absolutely must buy a new one.  It is essential.  No, really.  If I am going to be confined, I want my floors clean.  It’s the type of thing you can order online & have delivered.  Jan, who can fix anything, asked me if I had—taken the hoses off. No.  & Kunihiro won’t look at it because he’s getting paid a lot to do something else.

I plan to get on a ladder and clean the living room chandelier today. The essential engineer went to work.  He’s a consulting engineer. What could he really need to do?

I woke up with a sex dream during the night and I have to get to this guy. It’s been over 20 years since I wanted to touch a man so much.  Hormones.

I went to the cute guy’s website for his business.  He makes these little commercials and posts them on YouTube.  He’s amazingly good. I am usually not horny, but this guy is so exactly what I’ve been looking for. But is he? I would never travel for pizza. Ever.  Steak and potatoes?  Please, no…

I started the conversation about his sexual experience:  How old was he when he first had any sex? Mid teens…   Had he ever had sex at work.  He told me he had. Well, I had, too. My ex-husband was a goat. How about more than 1 person.  Yes.  I can’t beat that.  In a public place?  Yes for him, not that I can recall for me, You can’t call a campground really a public place, or along a drainage ditch, either.

These are very bad times. I want a connection. It has to be over the airwaves.

Day 5

At least he is uninhibited enough to have phone sex.  I see him as very focused.  Very independent.  Very prudent.  Yes, I do know what I want:  a non-European man.  A confident man.

I enjoyed virtual sex with him last night, and I am getting a clearer picture of him as a person. He is very independent and likes routine.

That is me, too. I am also tied to routine.  I  keep a schedule. In fact, 1 reason I have been able to be self-employed in the past is that I keep a routine, and when I wasn’t actually working, I was hustling: looking for work.  I manage to keep myself busy.

He seems to discount that he is an ‘other’, as though his ethnicity doesn’t matter.  I’d like to hear more about his experiences with that dynamic.  For me, it has been shocking that gentile men—the dominant Christian culture,  find me exotic.  But that’s all they are interested in…the exotic, and they don’t know what to do with it, or really,  It’s been wrapped up with them not defiling a Christian girl, so the emotional alienation doesn’t matter.

When I started writing last year, I had to do research, because  I needed to know who reads erotica.   What I’ve learned is that the target market is generally women older than 30.  Generally, they have advanced degrees, and of course, they know good sex.  Men apparently like more violence and domination, and they like the illusion that they are loved for it.

My kink is that I like it wet, that I like the heat, and I like to see my partner appreciate the experience. I want to see the expression on his face.

I haven’t asked him if he’s ever been tied up.   He’s told me has never paid someone for sex.   He tells me he has been tested for stds. Why would anyone do that if they were not sexually active? I haven’t been tested since I got out of Peace Corps, but I’ve had PAP smears.  I’m sure someone would have said something if things didn’t look normal.

When you’re a teenager, you’re willing to try anything.  As you mature emotionally, you weigh the ramifications. What compromises are you willing to make for a partner you can trust? So you can get your way? Do you really want monogamy or just the illusion of monogamy?   He’s had to have thought about this, but how has he said this to himself?

 I often joke with men who think they want a relationship, but I can tell it’s all about them, not ‘us’.  I am looking for a man who can keep me in the style to which I want to become accustomed.  That alienates most guys.  Most men I meet can’t even keep themselves in the style to which they want to become accustomed!

 You can’t bribe me with jewelry and I am definitely not fashionable, My vices are dog performance events:  entry fees, watching others compete with their dogs, watching dogs run.  I actually scheduled 2 mini-vacations to go to  2 very large dog shows this Spring (canceled, of course).  I love to travel and see art. I’ve been doing this since I was 30.  That’s  1 reason I still hang with Returned Peace Corps Volunteers:  we understand what it is to risk travel in less developed countries.

 I’m a child of the ’60’s…what can I tell you? My days of LSD and Peyote are over, but they were mind-expanding times. Most Saturday nights I am home watching the Friends marathon on channel 9, or reading.  I am a day person, not a night person.

This afternoon, on the news, Trump said he can’t believe Cuomo of New York needs 30,000 ventilators. He cited that some hospitals have only 1 ventilator.  You want to throttle the guy. He just doesn’t understand that this is a real crisis.  He seems to think if he is not sick & doesn’t know anyone sick, it’s not real.  He doesn’t understand exponential.  It’s infuriating.

Day 7

I sent the young guy a YouTube link of clownfish with anemones.  Just the most sensuous thing I can think of.  I think he’s too distracted. I just think he is so hot:

So, just being so taken with him, I posted 2 of his Your Tube commercials on Facebook.  I guess because of algorithms, nobody has said anything.  Then I texted him: “  I did something naughty.  I posted videos of you from your website on Facebook.  You’ll have to be my idea of  porn until we can touch  Don’t be angry,  You can set me right in the bedroom.”

So he responds:  “From my website?”

& I tell him, “You got it. Grow your hair long again.  & what women consider erotic & what men consider erotic are 2 different things.”

Then he asked, “You and your friends get turned on by me?”
I responded: “ Who wouldn’t want a handsome young man who would smile each time we rubbed his lamp?”  I don’t know if he understood that line is from Poetry man, the Phoebe Snow song.

So he responded that he loved all his ladies. So generic   I had sent him an excerpt from the book I’ve been working on, and he told me he got hard as he read it.  Good to know, as he isn’t my target market, but I think I got the description of activity right.  Then he said he was glad I was fantasizing about him, but too bad my roommate is here.

 I texted that the problem would not be Kunihuiro, but that we are on quarantine, and that would be the extra complication.

He told me he was thinking of my breasts and my body, and that the desire between us is high.Ah…so happy.  Yes, I want this man. 

Then I complained about  Trump and the news (Trump wants to punish the governors that aren’t appreciative enough by not sending them needed medical supplies—yes—that is the Great America we’re living in now), & he told me he was a Political Science major and he doesn’t want to talk politics.I  recall several years back Tony said I was ranting.

I told him about my organizing and activist experience, and he ignored it.  I don’t know how I feel about that now.  I asked him what kind of car he had, and he told me he had  2 Corollas, and asked why . Now, why would I ask? Well, I was willing to screw around in a vehicle if it was large enough, but alas, it was not.

He suggested getting a hotel in Naperville or Oakbrook, and I  told him if I was going to drive that far, I may as well drive to his place…and for some reason, at this time, he doesn’t like that idea.

I told him that it was difficult to write erotica on the fly, especially while watching the trainwreck of our civilization speed to the precipice, and that I am not really a spontaneous seductress.  I know he’s preoccupied. Also, it’s supposed to storm. He texted that he wanted me so badly,  and being intimate while it rains is hot.

Sure…it would be but the idea is better than reality if you think of what’s happening as apocalyptic. The last time I was this hot for a guy was before cell phones were invented.  He tells me making love to me is so hot, and that he will be coming for me soon and then will cum in me. I’m delighted, and he says we should try the car somewhere near Naperville or Oakbrook, but I replied that I don’t want our first encounter to be furtive sex..

So he suggested tomorrow, but he still doesn’t close until 5.  So we can do this dance again tomorrow, which will be…

Day 8

I wake up thinking about his hard, hot wet dick in my pussy. Is the fantasy better than reality?

To be truthful, I am not much of a flirt.  I am not attracted to very many men. The is guy is an aberration. My response to most guys flirting with me is “YUCK!”

We’ve had no contact today.  Not only am I  afraid I am getting him worked up, but the phone also works both ways. I told him that I needed the conversation.; That I broke up with Jon 30 years ago because Jon had nothing to say. This can’t be just sex. 

My distraction is Freddie Mercury.   I spent  hours today watching Freddie Mercury dance around…in videos.

He texted me around 3 that he had to buy groceries for his mother and he was terrified.  Yes, the news is grim, but  it almost makes you schizophrenic.  Liberty ‘University’ is calling students back to classes when all other schools are shut down.  In fact, people are posting webinars to make money off the seminars they’ve lost.  But here we are. Yesterday, he texted me that he would be home by 6 and would come for me. Today, groceries for his mother and then he was hanging a curtain. What the fuck?  Although truthfully, getting together was not is not realistic.

He haunts my thoughts.  He’ll text rather than have a vocal conversation. I am just not used to that. But I texted him:  I am 1 man away from poverty.  My roommate is a fantastic, intelligent guy, but he wants no complications in his life.  He is very socially conservative (I didn’t add, “But especially in contrast to me”) In the 20 years we’ve been together, I’ve never brought a man home.  I don’t want to be a hookup, but I can’t see myself married. If we weren’t under quarantine, I’d bring him here in a heartbeat.  This is what I want.  But is it? That I will have to work so hard and expose myself so much to a man who wants sex, and claims he wants emotional intimacy but is so used to being alone?  But to look at him, he takes my breath away.  I missed a lot of good sex because he was underage when I would have been looking for something better. 

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called “Blink!  The Power of Thinking Without Thinking”, sometimes, you just know.

LOL, to me, he’s the only evidence that I’ve ever had that there is a God.  This is what I want.  I will die happy after we make love just once.

Day 9

I applied for unemployment yesterday. Living in a surreal sci fi nightmare.  The muse is stressed out.  Even tho I took a sleeping pill last night, I woke up around 4 thinking this is not going to work. He texted about getting a hotel room.  . What can he possibly be thinking?

It’s raining.  People have begun posting little contests and memes on Facebook.  I am going to continue to market Polyandress to dog clubs and possibly contact agents about a nonfiction f book.  I am depressed and stressed from being in the house and not working. I love grooming dogs.  Even when it is exhausting.

So, late in the afternoon we had a little hot text banter. The Muse us hard and thinking of me, I’m wet, thinking about him being hard, he can’t wait to make me feel good, I’m thinking  I have to be realistic. I haven’t had sex for 3 years, and the last thing up there was an ultrasound wand, and that wand was very slender. & we video chatted and I saw how big his dick is, and it really gives me pause, but, oh! He’s a pleasure to listen to.

So I’m listening to the news, Gov. Pritzker says 30 more days quarantine, and the reason the muse doesn’t want me in his house is that he brings whatever home from the business, over 100  people a day. That’s why a hotel.

But I don’t think hotels are particularly clean. Not from my experience, and especially not the cheaper ones, but wait a minute anyways!  Is he wearing a mask? Gloves?  & I bet most of his customers are men. Guys like my brother & 1 brother-in-law (who doesn’t smoke, but if he did…)  Salt-of-the-earth guys who in spite of the SHELTER IN PLACE  warning, and how many are succumbing…are delusional and defiant. They believe contrails and the Deep State’ are things.   33 people in Stateville Prison are sick with this,  1 has died. In prison!  How the fuck does that happen?

So, if it’s all over him, then all over me, and I bring it home, I’d be horrified if Kunihiro got sick. He never goes anywhere.  Kunihiro can list on 1 hand where he’s been in the last 2 weeks!

The only real solution is that if I go out there, I stay out there for 2 weeks, and that is definitely not happening. We don’t know each other and he has made it very clear that he likes living alone.

One of my friends just posted a photo on Facebook.  A box of fresh veggies she got from a restaurant delivery service.  Yep, they’re gorgeous.  But I’d rather have a photo of this guy,:  hard.


The Muse texts me that he woke up hard. I’m sure. He’s a young guy. He should wake up hard. So I texted him to tell me what he wants, and I will make it happen.  He wants me between his legs, with my breasts loose, and me sucking him and swallowing.  Not my fantasy, but ok.  My heart is racing.  What I prefer is 69, but this is over the phone, Whatever your fantasy is, I’ll go with it.  He asks to call me, to talk to me while he jerks off. He is going to close his store so he can listen to me while he jerks off.  Guys are so lucky. They can make themselves come so easily. Why shouldn’t I add to his pleasure? We can all be dead tomorrow.  It’s great. His arousal arouses me. We are going to be good when we can finally really touch.

He comes and he laughs at how ridiculous this whole situation is. Cum is all over the rug, and he has to clean up, and he is laughing.  I ask him when most of his customers come in because my experience has been it’s usually between  11 and 1, in retail stores, when we did at least 60% of our business, and then after 4.  He said it is steady all day.  It has to be a very busy place.

Well, even though my day is relatively unstructured,  I have to be productive. I have to get moving. It is after 10:30.

1:00 and I still haven’t produced much of anything.  Well, in the evening, I got a great response from a dog club member.  The entire fancy is trying to make do with the situation of not knowing.

Day 11

Of course, I would be moody. But before I go off into why I am frustrated and hurting. I live with a celibate man because he provides me with stability.  20 years of no sex.  He has provided me with stability, and that is very valuable. I would do nothing to hurt him.

At about 11:30 last night, I texted the Muse, asking if he was awake. The response?  “ I am, for now. What’s up?  .”

So I text back, ”I’m afraid I was looking for trouble.”

“In what way?” Jesus. I have to spell it out? There is no subtle innuendo? “In the way that you think.”

“Tell me right now. Can’t talk  I’m trying to get laundry done and walking the dog.”

“Then go do it. I’m just playing. You don’t have the time for this. Maybe tomorrow.”

“I do have the time. Just text me what you’re  thinking.”

Text.  No talk. Text.  What is with this guy? Oh, right,. He’s a guy. it’s all about him.

Me: “I’m physically very sensitive and I want you.”

The Muse: “I can’t believe how naughty I was and blew up over the phone hearing your voice.”

Me: “I’ll wear you out.”

The Muse: “Please do. Be the woman I’ve desired for so many years. I want the ride of my life.  I want it to be the same for you. Better than any other lover you ever had.”

Is that so. Ok.  That’s what’s going through my head as I am feeling myself. So… why didn’t he call me?  Let me try again…

Me: “I want to watch you again. I am so wet.”

The Muse: “I hope the next time you watch me is in person.  I just go way too nuts with my words over the phone. I’m trying to hold it in, and I can’t help it.  I’m glad you get turned on.”

& my gut reaction in my head is what I wrote about Daler and Jeanine, how she tells him he gets too excited, and he wonders how he can be too excited. He’s just excited.

So,I try AGAIN: Me: “I hope so too but still like to hear you, But go take care of what you have to do,”

Him:  “I can text.  Keep playing with yourself or keep telling me what’s on your mind.”

This is ridiculous,. I am now doing this for him. What the fuck?  Ok, Me: “My heart is racing. I can’t text and play with myself. What’s on my mind is you feeling me, Your fingers. Your tongue.  Feeling your lips on my nipples.  I’ll deal with you tomorrow.”

I turned off the phone. He texts me a heart.; Then, very early, he texts “So amazing.”

But I slept fitfully.  I still have his Plenty of Fish profile. He’s looking for …in so many words, a regular hook up.  Not a girlfriend.  Even his interests:  ‘sports food’.  Not ‘sex sports food’. 

Yes, I am better over the phone than he is  in…what?  We are at least 60 miles apart and he’d rather text than talk.  Is it a generational thing?

So…. I texted him this morning very early, as I am not sleeping, I am not satisfied.:  Me: “I am going to tell you something now so I don’t ruin your day or mine.  When a man tells me the game or any other activity over sex is a priority, there’s no way for me to overcome that.  Hockey then basketball then baseball then football…then laundry.  Really?  I get maybe 15 minutes between?  My fantasy is not you coming in my mouth or swallowing. That’s your fantasy & you wonder why women turn away.  I’ve had so much really bad sex. I’ve risked my health and pregnancy to demonstrate that I wanted a man to be happy.  Because you want a commitment but won’t give it yourself.  Then you wonder what happened.  Did you hear yourself say you had to do laundry?  I want to see your dick and play with you and taste you and you have to do laundry?  What else has to be taken care of?  Get it done,  I fear 30 days won’t be enough time & I will tell you this too as long as I am being honest: The man I rejected 20 years ago still wants the conversation. I gave him so many chances and he remains clueless. I am begging you to not be that guy, I am frustrated and I am hurting,”

The Muse texts he is confused. He is too busy because he has to work and I don’t.  This is why he doesn’t like relationships. Yes.  I hear him. Relationships are hard!

Queen posted this video in 2014:    Yes, again Brian May  & Roger Taylor know what women want.  The words to this song are so evocative.  & the images they chose…. they speak to why everyone loved Freddie:  he was totally uninhibited.

& yeah,  it’s the truth: that guy I rejected after trying so hard, after he rejected me so many times. After he told me he didn’t care for oral sex.  After being in missionary position the few times  I enticed him when a game probably got canceled…he still thinks he has something to offer.  He still emails me, “Let’s get together. I miss you.”

I chose to live with a celibate man for security and stability.  I think that’s a  disappointing choice, but that’s why I  call myself Polyandress.

& it’s downhill from here:

I decided to give blood, so I googled “Donate blood Chicago” and the 1st results were, of o course, ‘for profit’ centers, but silly me, I didn’t realize that. Interstate @ 3324 W. Lawrence was closest, so I went to the website, saw what the rules were called, the outgoing message tells the hours and that no appointment was needed (although on the website it says 1st time might be 3+ hours . There is no free parking. Fine. go in, & 2 women are in the vestibule waiting, & tell me I can’t be in there. A man comes out wearing a lab coat &  tells me I have to wait outside.   Shouldn’t they put up a sign? Ok. then 1 of the waiting women tells me I can go in. A woman dressed as a nurse takes my temperature & asks if I have an i.d. with photo, a social security card, & A PIECE OF MAIL.  What is this?  Let’s Make a Deal?  You know why: people steal i.ds, but they don’t steal mail! It doesn’t say that on the website, nor in the outgoing message. She apologizes…so I can’t donate blood. Waste of time.

I  stopped at the bank.   A couple of old guys are hanging around the entrance. I go in—& this branch of the bank is closed.  I can’t deposit rent checks.

Get dog food, because Chewy is running late on deliveries.  Then I went to Trader Joe’s.  The parking lot is full, and people are standing around looking at their cell phones.  What is going on?  I get out of the car, and there is a guard talking to people at the entrance to the store.  Oh,  I see: they are only letting in a few people at a time, I wanted to get frozen edamame, but who knows how long I’d have to stand around?  People are waiting to be texted to come in—like at a restaurant when their table is ready.  I just came home.

Then Svetlana texted me to pick up a check within the hour. It’s too close. I’ll go tomorrow.  Neighbors say Northshore health Systems are doing cheek swabs. Well, they are…with a big but:  you have to really think you were exposed–like to  250 people in the last 2 weeks. I know I wasn’t.

I am going to do some marketing for the next few hours and see if I can pull myself together. I’ve made an appointment with the holistic doctor to address what the hormones are doing to me.


Preface to Polyandress

January 23, 2020

From the Museum of Erotic Art in Barcelona Spain

What do purebred dogs have to do with erotic romance?  Nothing.  It’s just that  one of my characters thinks he wants to breed dogs.

Draft for cover of Polyandress

Lots of people I know think dog breeders are evil.  Funny thing:  the BACKYARD BREEDERS are totally off the hook for responsibility. People who breed their pets for ‘fun & profit’, who sell to anyone with cash,  and don’t screen buyers to determine if they are ready for the dog they want..are filling our shelters.  The ‘do-gooders’ promoting ‘no-kill’ don’t count them as breeders. They are actually demonizing responsible breeders instead and are letting the bad ones totally off the hook.

They retort that no breeder is responsible. These people who influence ‘conventional wisdom‘ know nothing about animal husbandry, genetics. or animal behavior. Also, they don’t know the facts. They have a cartoonish, anthropomorphic view of animals. They hew a party line.

The facts are that over 90% of dogs in shelters were bred by backyard ‘I’m-not-a-breeder’ breeders, who deny they are breeders because they don’t have five breedable bitches, or they don’t have a kennel building, or they aren’t living off their dogs. In urban areas, most are Pit Bulls, or Pit-x, but some areas have a lot of Chihuahuas, Beagles, or shepherd type farm dogs, We’re not seeing rare breeds in shelters unless a dog has been lost. Let me take that back. Now we are seeing more Cane Corso in my metro area. I guess the foundation breeders didn’t make it clear to buyers that they should not be breeding if they weren’t going to be responsible for what they breed.

No matter. When you own the mommy animal at the time she gives birth, you are THE BREEDER.

They’ve also spread this idea that dogs are just bred for their beauty (conformation) and can’t do what they were bred d to do. That is laughably untrue.

We are ‘the fancy‘. That’s what purebred dog lovers—fanciers—call ourselves.  I’ve worked for hobby breeders for over 50 years. Most I work for are extremely concerned about genetic defects and strive to breed genetically sound dogs that can do what they were originally bred to do, and more. We call obedience, rally, agility, racing, lure coursing, hunting, dock diving, nose work, barn hunt, etc.: performance.

More important, these breeders love their dogs. They network to find homes for older dogs, often support their breed-specific rescue if a dog ends up in a shelter & the breeder can’t be found, and they will take back dogs they’ve sold if the buyer can’t keep the dog. They do not want to lose track of the dogs they’ve bred. This is why you don’t see rare breeds such as Glen of Imaal Terries, Borzoi, Clumber Spaniels,  in shelters. The breeders take them back. They also make clear to buyers why pet dogs should not be bred.

The do-gooders blame the hobby breeders, demonizing them for the situation the backyard breeders have caused.  We are losing breeds. I wonder if Bedlington Terriers or Affenpinschers have viable gene pools.

The reason I am a purebred dog fancier is predictability. A breed is considered a breed by the bona fide registry organization when the fanciers have a breed standard describing the physical dog, and dogs that breed true for three generations. With a degree of statistical certainty (with a standard deviation, I’m sure), you can tell what size, coat type, and temperament a purebred dog will have.

This is not so with mixed breeds/designer dogs. It would be amusing if it wasn’t infuriating how many grooming clients groomers have who bought ‘designer’ Poodle crosses and are disappointed with the size and coat type of the dog. If you would not buy a purebred Poodle, why would you pay more for a Poodle mix? I think the doodle breeders’ marketing must be very good. That and people don’t spend enough time researching a purchase.

Rarely do hobby breeders reach out to the public. They have too much conventional wisdom to dispel in a short amount of time. Veterinarians, who should know better, are not helping, either.

Now, due to ‘the economy’, where land rents might eat up over 50% of a household’s income, coupled with credit card debt and outstanding student loans, few people can even afford to own a dog, let alone breed them.

Ethical breeders are dying of old age. Younger people don’t have the time, money, or interest in breeding quality dogs. A veterinary dental for a dog hovers around $400 in my neck of the woods. The last thing people who have a lot of debt need is a high maintenance breed of dog, but pet buyers are naive and emotional.

When people try to guilt me about being a purebred dog fancier, I remind them that all dogs come from breeders, and I don’t want ignorant, dimwitted backyard breeders choosing the type of dog I should own. Humans ‘invented’ over 400 breeds for various reasons. it’s fine if you want to take any random dog, but we will not make a dent in irresponsible behavior; i.e. backyard breeders, if we ignore that they are the elephant in the room.

OK. So..what does that have to do with erotica? Nothing. But if I made one of the characters a dog fancier, and she explained why integrity is important, and she enjoys having mind-blowing sex…would you read that?

I rest my case.

Why I Write Erotica

January 18, 2020

From the Museum of Erotic Art in Barcelona Spain

Me—from a pose in the 1980s. Justin Goh did the background.

I’ve always been a decent writer.  I wrote to my boyfriend before he became my husband (he moved away 8 weeks after we started going together), I wrote to a guy who I wanted to be my boyfriend, who, in spite of the sex, never was.

Then, when I decided I had some actual ideas, I started writing about dogs.  Not stories, more journalistic nonfiction stuff.  I even got paid, which was encouraging.

I’m a girl and was raised to seek approval. I was never good enough. That might be generational, to raise girls to not have an ego & think they are not as worthy as boys. I’m not sure.  Encouragement is always appreciated.  I got the most encouragement grooming dogs.

I was in my 40’s and I suddenly had to start dealing with bullies.  Oh, we didn’t call them that about 20 years ago.  If it wasn’t sexual harassment, it didn’t really count (men are supposed to be assholes to girls).  But it DID count.  It’s just that we still allow men to decide what counts.

So, I was in my 50s when I started working for Bruce Blaine, at Best Friends Chicago, who was really condescending and verbally abusive.  In fact, before I started working for him, a friend who trained dogs with a dog trainer at this business told her she wouldn’t want to be caught alone in the building with Bruce.

I sucked it up, but finally complained to human resources. They sent another manager to keep an eye on him, and he’d behave for a few days, then go back to being a bully.  Nothing was ever done, so I quit working for Best Friends Pet Care.  They ultimately sold their entire business rather than deal with managers.

Because this bully Bruce would not give me a reference, I could not account for over a year of my employment.  I had trouble finding other work. In fact,  some people lured me to a new business, claiming they had enough to employ me. They didn’t.  It’s legal to lie.  I was desperate. I applied for a job I saw posted on Craigslist, offered by a guy named Dan London. His business was “Doggie Bath House’.  His only dog experience was walking dogs at a kennel, but everyone wants to be in the pet business and thinks there is nothing you have to know. There isn’t. Entry to the industry is easy.  I am not changing his name because he is still out there. I refused to work for him because he didn’t have enough dog experience and I knew he would not be in business long, He lasted about a year. but during that time, he decided that if I wasn’t going to make money for him, I’d make money for nobody. He had my resume & started harassing other businesses, & posting fake reviews on Yelp! He’d post that he toured (a business) & saw me beating a dog!  Now, how would he know my name?  But Yelp! let him do this. That’s Yelp!  You can’t trust Yelp!  He’s posted that I am mentally unstable.  Totally legal.  & he’s a guy, so he must be credible.

On the internet, ‘nobody knows you’re a dog (or an asshole…)’.  I actually met other groomers who had worked for him and whom he had not paid. They told me he hated me. He might not have had dog experience, but he had internet & bullying experience.  He posted all over the country, on Craigslist—-which you can do for free—and told people to call my employer (at the time, it was Paradise4Paws, an  up and coming dog care business) and have me fired. They got so much harassment, they did fired me.  Even though Saq Nadeem knew who was doing the harassing.

Friends told me to blog.   For over 10 years I have—–  about my ‘disparate interests’.  I am not widely read, but much of what  I’ve written has been shared.

Along the way, I stopped being sexual with a man I had been very attracted to, both physically and socially.  He had made it very clear that I was just not worth any sort of respect or commitment.

At the time, I was thinking mediocre sex was better than no sex at all.  I’ve since changed my mind.

There could be many reasons for why the sex was not better, but the bottom line is really that if the man doesn’t care, there is nothing you can do. HE IS NOT INTERESTED.

Actually, it wasn’t a conscious decision to give up sex.  It was conscious to stop seeing a mediocre sex partner who was totally unreliable.

I wasn’t meeting any worthwhile men, either. My grandmothers told me to find a man to keep me in the style to which I would like to become accustomed.  For a woman to put herself out there and risk pregnancy and disease, I just couldn’t see it.

Worse,  in my industry—-the pet industry—-the few men who are out there are gay.  What about other aspects of my life?

When I was in the Peace Corps most were younger, and the ones my age had the same issues with me:  old, fat, loud, opinionated.

Freddie Mercury, can you find me Somebody to Love?

I started looking at Match & Plenty of Fish (and even a few sites aimed at Jews). Guys my age either look like my grandfather or are looking for ‘a nurse and a purse’, or are Christian (I am a secular Jew and have a moral compass, thank you), or can’t keep me in the style to which I would like to become accustomed.

Ok, so, say we do get a guy past the hurdles: he’s got full dentition, not Christian, has a quick wit, likes dogs, can keep me in the style, blah blah.  Great. But what kind of chance do I have to take to find out if the guy is a decent lay?  Decent? I need better than decent.  You can’t write erotica without knowing what you’re talking about.

How did this actually happen?

The truth is, I wanted to write about integrity.  I am a dog fancier.  There are a lot of different breeds of dogs out there.  The reason there are so many distinct breeds is because  people want dogs to meet certain needs,  To get consistency, you need predictability, and to get predictability, you need to have the INTEGRITY to choose only the best dogs to breed.

In 10 years, there probably won’t be any Doodles, Pomskys, or Puggles, but there will be Whippets, Gordon Setters, Borzoi, Briards, and Dandie Dinmont Terriers…because of breeders with integrity.

So wait—-what? what does dog breeding have to do with erotica?

Not a thing.  But who wants to read about integrity?

Nobody. But dog lovers do want to read about good sex. So, I had my first character be a dog groomer who had good sex, and turned it into a storyline.

All the erotica/love stories are fantasies. They are contrived but made plausible.

There was another reason I did this. At the time I started thinking about how to do this, my father, in his 90’s, was badly injured in a fall.  He broke his neck and his femur. He was lucky he wasn’t paralyzed.  He did recover if you could call it that, but it was the end of his freedom because he refused to NOT walk, and continued to fall as soon as he could get up.  He had to go into a nursing home.

It was more complicated, because, my father had been bankrolling my brother’s drug addiction. He had been doing this for over  30 years.  Suddenly, the ‘bank of Dad’ was closed, and my brother was making his situation worse. He rented a car and had an accident and fled the scene. He hadn’t paid any of his utility bills and was living without running water, heat, electricity, or a phone, He lied to my sister about all this.

Rehab is a joke.  It’s a scam the way  it is marketed in this country. Families want it to work, but doesn’t unless the addict is motivated. Why should people get clean  as long as the families refuse to let them die?

That’s as far as I will go on this tangent.  It was really more interesting, but we were dealing with the stress of family dynamics. My father, in spite of his three daughters begging, nagging, cajoling him to NOT give my brother money, continued to because 1 son is worth way more than 3 daughters.

Michael Douglas also gave his son Cameron money to be a drug addict. That is what fathers do.

Face it, everyone. When someone decides to take opioids not because a physician prescribed them for physical pain, but because they are lazy, self-indulgent entitled assholes (like the flakes with untrained emotional support animals—the reason I think psychologists/psychiatrists have too much sway) nothing will fix them.  Only 30% of addicts ever totally recover  (meaning stay sober over five years), and that is because they are motivated. It usually takes them several tries, too. Most are not motivated.  They can’t live alone or be trusted with money.  I wish we could expatriate them to less developed countries where they’d have to learn a language and work or die.

I won’t go into the gruesome details of how bad it got, but my sister did get him involuntarily committed to rehab (for at least the 4th time)  This is a guy with an RPh and a DVM who chose self-indulgence.   He continues to tell us he is smarter than us all.  But…because my sister didn’t want my stepbrother or sisters judging us if they read my blog, they asked me to not write about my brother.

I had a lot of stuff on my plate.  This situation with my brother is terribly discouraging, and my father’s situation is terrible. So, that’s why I decided to write erotica.  I mean, who cares what anyone thinks?

But several people have asked me now how I came up with the sex scenes.

The short, true answer is you write what you know.  I did not have very much mind-blowing sex, but apparently what I did have made a vivid impact.  That’s what good sex is.

What I am writing about are issues that concern me, and that I confront often. That’s the other reason I decided to write.  It’s good therapy to actually express my ideas and beliefs, and as you get older, time is of the essence.  Is is true to the genre…each book has a story.  But this also looks like this is the closest I will come to the topic of sex for a very long time.


The Newest Scam: Pretrained Puppies

September 20, 2019

My Saluki as a young dog.Sold as a pet, he finished his AKC championship in fewer than 10 shows.His breeder trained him—& didn’t charge for the training!

Anyone working in service in the pet industry knows…’the fancy ‘ is dying. there are fewer and fewer ETHICAL HOBBY BREEDERS, BREEDING FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THEIR BREEDS.  Often, you have to be on a waiting list  if you want a puppy.  Thus, what is happening is that our clientswho had previously  chosen and owned purebred dogs are buying—-for way too much money—mixed breed ‘designer’ dogs (meaning a mix of 2 breeds) or, trusting  very well produced websites that claim they work with ‘reputable ‘ breeders & will choose a dog for you…without ever meeting you—just what you tell them in an email or on the phone

When I worked in Africa,  the country I was in was, essentially, a dictatorship.  it was a single party system.  One day, the ‘life president’ gave a speech, and of course,the next day it was reported in the  (state owned) newspaper how well-received the speech was to the crowd in the stadium.  I was talking  about it with my co-workers, and they said, “Well Robyn, notice there are no photos of the crowds in the stands.”   You had to read between the lines.

I bring this up because some clients, very nice people, older, no kids, recently bought a dog from a website:  They had had two Miniature Schnauzers in a row. The last one had kidney failure (not uncommon in the breed, possibly genetic…), but they kept him alive  for years. They spent a lot of money on veterinary care & there was no doubt they loved him.

I knew that ultimately, they would want to get another Schnauzer puppy, but we got out of touch.  I thought they might call me for a referral to a breeder, but the fact is that not only are local breeders  getting old and no longer breeding, one of the most well known breeders in the country, Joan Huber, who really bred some outstanding dogs, got shut down for  cropping her own dogs ears.  She was arrogant, and invited the wrong people to work for her.  She essentially was a commercial breeder.  However, that’s how it is now. If you want a Miniature Schnauzer that looks and acts like a Miniature Schnauzer, you could have done a lot worse than Blythewood, her kennel. You could have gotten a dog from the so-caled ‘reputable breeders’ that Snake River buys from to resell. How do I know?  Go to their website.  I’ve worked with really reputable breeders for years. so many different bloodlines—and these people have studied their breeds.  You  go to a dog show, and  all  the Miniature Schnauzers are. 13.5 inch dogs —extremely uniform in size—salt and pepper color (sometimes solid black, or black & silver).  & that is the breed.

So, how is it the  Snake River dogs are  parti-colored, liver colored, and even blue eyed?  Well, my client says he got papers, and they are AKC.  & his veterinarian  told him the AKC wouldn’t accept the registration if they weren’t purebred. Huh?  The reason so many dog clubs and truly ethical hobby breeders are taking their stud books back is because the AKC doesn’t enforce their studbooks.   they wil register a camel if you have the papers & submit the fees. They do not sue breeders who breed  mixes and claim they are purebreds. There is no way a purebred Miniature Schanuzer could be liver colored, parti-colored. or have blue eyes unless another breed was in the mix. The odds of  so many  of these livestock/commercial breeders having dogs of these off colors with blue eyes is about a billion to one.

We’re seeing Bulldogs, Pit Bulls, and Pomeranians  with these colors, including merling.  Breeds that for decades (keep in mind, these breeds have been breeding ‘true’ for between 100 and 200 years)—‘rare’, and ‘exotic’ colors. These dogs, no matter what the ‘papers’ say—are not purebred dogs. Those registration papers are only as honest as the breeders.

So, what these sellers do, as you will see from the  website, is buy puppies and ‘train’ them for you.  As we were discussing…aside from housebreaking, leash training, and possibly the ‘sit’, what can these  women be  training for….$6000?

Last year, a client asked us how much we would charge for  housebreaking a puppy. I had no idea. I said $200. What an idiot I am!

Go  back to the Snake Rive website. These women are very good with prose. Still, if you don’t know Schnauzers, you’d think these women have integrity.

I pointed out to my client.  While I am happy they love their puppy,  these women are not honest. They are excellent marketers. They are…Christians (we are Jewish). They believe, I am totally sure…that because Jesus Christ is their savior, they are imperfect people, and even if they lie and cheat people, as long as they ask Jesus for forgeiveness, they will go to Heaven.

They consider those of us with our own ‘moral compass’ to be heathens and a threat.  I sure hope I am a threat.  I am just not as good at ripping people off.


What Does ‘Socialization’ of Dogs Mean?

September 7, 2019

Recently, I’ve been fostering  a dog for a breed specific rescue. The dogs—all purebred, were taken from a hoarding situation. We really don’t know that much about them, but what we do know is from our experiences working with all sorts of dogs.

Many of the dogs were injured in dog fights. Some needed stiches. We think they might have been fighting over bitches in season, or possibly food. They are –or were—all ‘skittish’:  they constantly look behind them  when they were walked. They’d try to hide under furniture or cower in crates. Yet, they all were leash trained, all were housebroken, and none of the dogs is a fear-biter.

It seems to me, these dogs were not  abused in the sense they were brutalized or beaten. They were neglected and hadn’t been exposed to  stimulation from the outside world.  Adding to their trauma was how they were captured and moved.

I have worked in kennels that housed  retired racing Greyhounds waiting for pet homes.  For some reason, the ‘do-gooders’ seem to think these dogs were abused.  Clearly, when you compare them to, say, Pit Bulls taken from open admissions shelters, they haven’t been.  All are calm in the kennels, They don’t generally react to  other dogs barking at them.  They approach strangers with their tails wagging, They never bark franticly.  They walk calmly on leashes without pulling.  Most are even houebroken!  It’s clear that most retired Greyhounds were handled in a loving, responsible manner.  Yet, the do-gooders, with no personal evidence, promote the idea that  these dogs are not well cared for, and if they don’t run, they will be killed. Since the 1960s, because I’ve had pet Whippets (we’ve run non-paramutuel races—no betting), I’ve known NGA Greyhound breeders who always tried to give away  dogs that were duds on the track. But those so-called ‘humane activists’ kept writing that these dogs could not be pets! Yes, they’ll chase and kill a small animal…even a small dog. Lots of dogs—even  those cute Yorkies—will do that.  I’d rather take a chance on a Greyhound than a Cocker Spaniel! Ask any dog groomer.

Not all Pit Bulls are killers. The irony is that many are ‘non-social’ because they’ve been taken from their dams  when they are barely weaned. The backyard breeders of Pits  want to GET RID OF THEM ASAP, so they don’t allow dogs to learn to be dogs and negotiate how to get along with their littermates. That’s the reason so man Pits (& other popular breeds) are nonsocial.

I work for several hobby breeders, and they  do what they think is right in terms of socialization for their puppies. They usually have TV or radio on.  They run the vacuum cleaner around them. They get the pups being used to getting brushed, having their toenails trimmed, and bathed.  What they usually don’t do is take them out to get used to street sounds.

I got my first puppy when he was three-months-old.  I started walking him all over, and allowing people to touch him.     He was an Afghan Hound, and they usually grow out of their puppy personalities when they are a little over a year, and start becoming aloof.  He was aloof!  However,he was never fearful.

My foster dog is adjusting to all the city sounds.  She had, apparently some training, because she responds to the typical obedience commands that pet dogs are often taught.  As we work with her, she will gain more of an attention span, and gain confidence, and not be so skittish.

When we go to dog training classes, we see many puppies.  Decades ago,  for some reason (because we didn’t really understand how animals learn)  pet owners were encouraged  to wait until a dog was at least a year old before beginning training.   These days, we know that as soon as the dog has gotten immunizations,  the dog can join others in training classes. The dog trained young doesn’t have a chance to develop bad habits.  We call this behavior shaping, and it works.

Socialization  is  the  dog being comfortable with other friendly dogs,  being responsive to the humans  the dog lives with, and  being comfortable in his environment. That’s what we mean when a dog is socialized.


Why I Have Chosen to Join a Kennel Club

December 28, 2017

My Saluki as a young dog.Sold as a pet, he finished his AKC championship in fewer than 10 shows.

Why would a  person who doesn’t have a dog to show join a kennel club?  Good question!    It’s not  like I don’t have enough on my plate.  It’s because I want to support …purebred dogs.

At one time, I did have a dog to show, and  I was a member of  kennel club to meet  others who had dogs to show, possibly to network to expand my  dog grooming business, and to learn more about dogs.  I was a member  of the Goldcoast Kennel Club for several years, but a  lot  of life events, including divorce, moving, and  going to graduate school  made me lose interest.

I first became interested in showing dogs when I was learning about  breeds and  what breeders look for in making their dogs into champions.  My first ‘show’ dog, an Afghan Hound, wasn’t really a show dog, but I didn’t know that.   I was only  12  when I got him. He had a magnificent pedigree.  This is how I learned that you don’t breed pedigrees…you breed dogs.

My first dog show was the Skokie Valley Kennel Club show in October, 1967. I entered my young dog in Novice, as we were both novices, and he was  just over a year old.  He got a blue ribbon (he was the only dog in his class) and my mother had it framed.  I still have it.  He never became a champion, but I was learning.

About a yer after getting the Afghan, we got a Miniature Schnauzer from a very well known Schnauzer breeder. This breeder taught me how to hand strip a dog.  He also didn’t turn out as I had hoped, but I was still learning.

I became active in a breed club:  The Afghan Hound Club of Greater Chicago.  This was in the 1970s, and Afghan Hounds suddenly got popular because of the culture of the time.  We’d have educational programs at meetings, but mostly what we did at meetings was plan matches and dog shows.  Our events were well attended.  I thought my fellow club members were all dog lovers, but what I learned was that, when push came to shove, not all of us were on the same page. This was because I was very interested in  Afghan Rescue.  Some breeders  took their dogs back if they sold them to people who decided they did not want the dog any more, but more were really backyard breeders…hoping to play the dog show game on a grand scale, but not willing to be responsible for all the dogs they bred.  One member  actually said to me, “If you sell a toaster, and the  buyer decides he doesn’t want it anymore, you don’t take it back, do you?”   I saw the mindset of  many people who were breeding dogs, making some money, but not caring about the dogs they bred.  This shocked and demoralized me.

I got involved in lure coursing, and  my dog turned out to be amazing at it, but the club was ambivalent, and my interests drifted to other areas.

So now this is about 40 years later, and I am  a witness to  the end of purebred dogs.  There are several factors  affecting  dynamics.  The ‘fancy’—that is, the people who were breeding dogs, are aging out.Their kids never were really interested.  It costs too much.  Our costs of living went up exponentially, we  had the ‘great recession’ when  not just the  real estate industry collapsed, but those fiduciaries (LOL) we trusted with out savings invested in smoke and mirrors, and a lot of people lost a lot of money.  Also, partly due to the internet, and partly due to us training most veterinarians as ‘agricultural veterinarians’  mixed breeds and ‘rescues’ are more popular than purebred dogs.  We’ve all heard, “Don’t shop, adopt,”  never mind that backyard breeders bred all the dogs & cats abandoned in shelters.  And the whole ‘hybrid vigor’ excuse for breeding a Poodle to just about any other breed.

I’d hate to have the fancy die out.  While my breed (Whippets) are not really in trouble, there are many ‘rare ‘ breeds without a gene pool, and some very popular breeds—-like French Bulldogs, Cockers and Bichon Frise with horrible genetic issues and most of their gene pools  consisting of puppy mill bred dogs—-bred as livestock to sell.

As someone who doesn’t breed dogs…what can I possibly  do to ‘add value’ to the sport of dogs?We can find more ways to  make entry fees cheaper, or find ways to  include more pet owners.  We can  offer more  activities and opportunities to compete, and we can  do more to educate the public about why we care for the breeds we love, and why planned breeding  not only makes future generations of dogs more genetically sound, but  addresses the unwanted pet problem.

More on Puppy Mills…and the Unfair Attack on Joan Huber

December 16, 2017

I m revising/editing this post as I have gotten more information, and it is only fair to address the issues.

A few months ago, I wrote a blog called, “What is a Puppy Mill?” & cited a well known commercial breeder whom I felt was NOT a puppy mill:  Joan Huber of Blythewood Miniature Schnauzers.  It is not clear how many dogs she kept in her kennel before a deranged ‘animal rights’ idiot decided to  turn her in to authorities for running a puppy mill (and, with apparently no actual evidence—cropping her own dogs ears—-a violation of law because she is not a licensed veterinarian).  We have several issues that have to be addressed.  Actually, it was not 1 ‘AR’ person, but several past employees who turned her in to the  Montgomery County SPCA over multiple issues.

1.Joan Huber is NOT a hobby breeder.  Her business is  breeding and selling Miniature Schnauzers.  She is not selling entire litters for resale.  However, she has a market for her dogs.  I have mixed feelings about people breeding pets like livestock, but the fact is that even  many  hobby breeders don’t keep housedogs—their dogs are not pets, but without people like Joan Huber,  there probably won’t be many well bred—meaning  Miniature Schnauzers free of genetic defects available in even  five years. Why?  The  old  hobbyists/fanciers are dying out, and it is too hard to  get a Miniature Schnauzer ready to show. This is true of many terriers.  Too much work, no money to be made and lots of money to be lost on an indulgence.  You  need an ‘economy of  scale’ these days to  have a ‘breeding program’.  We may not like it that we see these breeding dogs as being in ‘dog jail’—but  not liking it is an emotional response.  I have worked in many kennels, and the dogs are just fine. Happy, engaged in life, and more so than many pet dogs.  She apparently had  41 dogs in her kennel(including over a dozen stud dogs), and was of the mindset that nothing was amiss.

2.  When I was barely a teenager, in the 1960s, a neighbor who knew I had an interest in purebred dogs and showing, invited me in to  watch him crop a puppy’s ears.  He sedated the puppy,  drew a line where he wanted to cut, and sutured the ears.  It was gross and fascinating. Why did he do it & not pay a veterinarian?  It was not to save money.  It was because he didn’t want the dog’s ears butchered.  Now we know, it is an unnecessary surgery, but  the dogs are not in pain.  It doesn’t affect their behavior, and  are we going to call this  a crime, but still allow  idiots who  don’t know how to use either shock or prong collars—-both of which DO CAUSE PAIN—-to continue to buy these items and cause dogs constant pain?

3.  Who should decide what is humane?  Do we let  so-called ‘animal rights’ do-gooders who have never trained a dog, or think  keeping pets should be illegal as it exploits them, to make rules?  Or how about  the many  veterinarians trained as agricultural vets, to influence what is cruel or what is kind. As it is, the veterinary profession makes a lot of money  off ear cropping, tail docking, dewclaw removal,  DECLAWING CATS,  making deals with pet shops to  vaccinate puppy mill bred dogs,   and over vaccinate out pets by law.  Thus, the fancy  has decided  our pet dogs should not have rights—totally on the other end of the spectrum.

4.  Is all this an  ‘either/or’ situation?  Go on Craigslist any day, particularly the pet section, in any city, and you will find backyard breeders selling puppies on a site which has rules  prohibiting the sale of puppies.  Craigslist relies on the public, the community —to ‘flag off’ sellers.  Yet,  so many people have no idea how to find a well -bred—meaning healthy AND  predictable–purebred dog.  The issue in this case is tht  the backyard breeders are dishonest and unethical…but are they inhumane?

5.  Can ‘the fancy’—-those of us who  promote the predictability of purebred dogs, quit defending selling  entire litters for  resale, in defense of being able to not be regulated?

6.This is how the public sees us all:

As someone  who  supports  prosecution of  crimes against animals, being a  donor to Safe Humane Chicago, I don’t understand  how  Joan’s litter could be ‘adopted out’ & her bitch spayed without due process.   Apparently ther was due process, but her lawyer could not defend her and she did not deny cropping her puppies’ ears!   In Chicago,  dogs  that have been abused are held ass evidence until the defendant relinquishes  ownership. We’ve had some dogs held for almost  two years as the owners deny a crime was committed, and get continuance after continuance.  Something is seriously wrong, and  now I understand anyone with a grudge can report any of us, any time, whether  the facts are true or not, and cost us all a fortune.  Sort of disgusting that  the  do-gooder didn’t get a job working for one of the many bona fide puppy mills out there.  this is why i contributed to Joan’s defense.   I hope you will, too.