Posts Tagged ‘humopr’

Sex ed 101—What every young person should know….

August 11, 2010

There are books and books and all sorts of stuff written about the physiology of sex.  There’s the Kama Sutra.  But there is nothing like good information.

One of my friends (we’ll call her Joan)  used to live with what they used to call, “A Round Heeled Woman.”  Sally was always  bringing a new guy home.  She had long, blond hair…& that was about it. Friendly.

In any case, one day Sally complained to Joan that she was seeing so much of her new boyfriend she didn’t have time to do her laundry.

“He’s got a laundry room in his building, doesn’t he?” Joan asked Sally.

“Sure!  But I don’t know him well enough to ask to use his laundry room!”  Sally responded.

“Look, ”  Joan replied, “If you know him well enough to have sex with him, you know him well enough to ask to use his washing machine.  In fact, ask him if you can drive his care. If  HE doesn’t know you well enough to let you drive his car, YOU don’t know him well enough to have sex with him.”

Sounds logical to me.  Let me tell you about my former client, Barbara.

Barbara wasn’t a great client, but she took such good care of her Maltese, Skippy, that I was always happy to see her.

One day she came in and told me she was getting married.

“How did you meet him? I asked.

“Actually, it was at my high school reunion. We were both now divorced, and the rest is history!”

I didn’t see Barbara for about 4 months, when she brought Skippy back.  When she came to pick him up after the grooming appointment, she told me she was moving to California.

“With your new husband?”  I asked.

“No…I called the wedding off.”

“What happened?  Did you find out he was insolvent?”  I asked, joking.

“How did you know?”  Barbara responded.

“Just a lucky guess. What happened?” I asked.

“Well, I asked him if I could quit working, and he said I could, so I did, and then I asked him how to get on his health insurance and discovered he didn’t have any, and found out he didn’t have a lot of anything else, and it was down hill from there.”

Now do you understand why cultures have ‘bride price’ and ‘Ketuba’ ?  Americans & Europeans   are so frivolous about sex—and will engage in sex  impulsively—but ask about finances, and that is the ultimate taboo!  Yet— more marriages and relationships succumb due to lifestyle choices (drug use, religious practices…& how partners spend or save money) than for infidelity!

How can you tell if it’s love?  Does it matter?   Do you think having sex with a person  before it is love will help you decide how to view the relationship? Will discussing how you budget help you decide if you want to  even go to dinner with this person?

In east Africa,  for at least a while, they were doing a lot of marketing about  sex and relationships to young girls. There is no public aid.  You have a child, and your family can’t support another mouth, the baby dies.  That’s how it is in a lot of places.  In the U.S.,  we are still so reluctant to  tell girls  that Prince Charming is not going to come along.  I am dismayed that the situation has not changed in my lifetime.

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You are so….strange

October 6, 2009

Is sarcasm a form of humor? How about a comment made  facetiously?  If you are cynical, are you humorless?

So much for …’marching to the beat of a different drummer.’  People become dog groomers for all sorts of reasons.   We say we love dogs.   How many of us continue to learn about dogs?  I wonder.

I know I chose to groom dogs because I  not only loved being with dogs, but I wanted to learn to make them look good. That’s not really important in the general scheme of things, but I am going to spill a secret:  I have Asperger’s Syndrome.  I am  odd.  I  realized that’s what it was when I read Tempel Grandin’s Book, Thinking in Pictures.  At least 2 of my siblings have it, & it’s not unusual for Jews to be afflicted.  We  are ‘flappers’ as  toddlers:  waving our hands & screaming in frustration.  We are visually oriented and  very articulate.  Most important, we tend to either miss or disregard social cues.

One of the most unfriendly things someone said to me  was being called rude for hanging up a telephone without saying “Good-bye.”  The person I allegedly hung up on didn’t call me rude. She hung up first!  Someone was listening to my end of the conversation!  She had no idea that the person I was talking to  also had Asperger’s & she hung up first.  That person had a Ph.D. in psychology!

Yep—-guilty.  I have Asperger’s.  Google that.  I know my personality was why I chose to work with dogs.  I also  got an undergraduate degree in anthropology (those wacky humans!)…

I don’t have a filter.  I will tell you straight out what I think, & if the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes, oh, well.    I try to be tactful and use humor, but if you  neglect your dog or take advantage of me, I don’t suffer fools gladly. I have no patience for stupidity or for people who expect others to compensate for their lack of  research or forethought, impulsive behavior,  or greed.  I was raised that way, and it is  difficult enough  to be Jewish in a gentile world.  We Jews have had to assimilate and operate on a Christian calendar.  We have to pay for  your unplanned for & unwanted children and pets when you all think it’s ‘God’s Will’, so YOU won’t take responsibility.

I have compassion for the kids, but contempt for the parents.  American society is set up to accommodate these people.  The elites cater to their  carelessness…it createa a cheap labor pool.  In reality, it creates a pool of thugs who prey on the rest of us.  Capitalist economics can not absorb that many humans.  Jobs are not created fast enough.  If we don’t have a  social safety net (which we need for the elderly & handicapped), and are not providing food, health care, & housing, the only way the  surplus humans can survive is by stealing, thievery, and scamming.

It was that accident of fate:  me working for Ashish Sen, and  his suggestion that I apply to his  program —Urban Planning & Policy at the University of Illinois—that  was the reason I got a master’s degree in planning.    If I wanted to be employed, however, I would have had to leave my home and community. I did that by joining Peace Corps.

What  Peace Corps doesn’t  address is the emotional stress you  will endure.  Some do better than others.  Many  ‘early terminate‘.  Most early terminate due to lack of support from Peace Corps  or other entities  which could provide support, but don’t.  No matter.

When I returned from Peace Corps service, my mentor told me to take any job I could find (this was at the end of the 1st President Bush admin—in the early 1990s). So, I worked for  some badly run not-f0r-profits.  I finally returned to grooming dogs. The pay and hours were much better and not nearly as frustrating.  But more—-people are afraid to bother you when you have a scissors in your hands.  It’s you—& the dog.  Strange?  If you know you are strange, that you might be mentally ill (or has a syndrome) are you  not as good as the people who judge you?