Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Book Review: “The Kid” by Dan Savage

July 30, 2020

For those not familiar with ‘alternative newspapers’,  many major cities have weekly papers that post about local culture. to fill out copy, they buy syndicated columns. Dan Savage is a gay man who answers questions about sex, both gay and straight, in his weekly column, Savage Love’:

He’s a really funny guy. Who are you going to ask about sex and kinks and sex issues if not him?  He does his research.  he’s also written about half a dozen books.  I find him insightful, funny, and easy to read.

The Kid is about his adventure into adopting a child.  He and his partner chose open adoption because they felt it would be easier than a closed adoption, less expensive than a foreign adoption,less complicated than an informal arrangement with a woman who wanted to bear a child,  and he saw no reason to not have the birth mother of his child present in his child’s life.

He discusses all of this in his book, starting with how he met his partner, Terry, in a gay bar: why he was attracted to him, and how they started living together.  his biggest qualm with Terry is that Terry likes techno dance music, especially in the car. Dan hates it.  but he says that what ‘sealed the deal’ for him after a two-day lovefest was Terry’s excitement at Dan bringing him a book by Gore Vidal (United States) he wanted to read.A committed monogamous relationship developed, and they started discussing having a family.

Dan addresses that he was approached by lesbian friends and he writes they never got it together, One par ir split up.  he discussed this with a lawyer friend who had done an open adoption with his wife, and Dan and Terry decided that would be the way for them to go.

They live in Seattle, but the adoption agency was in Portland, Oregon, so they make a trip to scope out what they have to do. The adoption agency has no issues with gay couples, and Dan  & Terry are told that they will stand out in a book of prospective parents because they are not the typical white bread Christians that most of the couples are. Dan is skeptical, but within 6 weeks,  after getting their paperwork to the agency, they are chosen, and the birth mother is about  6 months along in her pregnancy. She’s a homeless  ‘gutter punk’ who chooses to live on the street, but who knows she can’t care for a baby. She doesn’t care that Dan and Terry are gay. Apparently, she likes other aspects of how they describe themselves, and that Terry will be the stay-at-home dad.

Dan also describes his relationship with his parents, with Terry’s parents,  coming out and ruminating over what he wants in his life, what to name ‘the kid’, and whether to circumcise or baptize him.  and is funny every step of the way.   I might say you’d never know Dan was gay unless he told you. He’s a writer who knows he can help people make decisions by giving them the information they might not be able to find otherwise.

Anyone  even considering adoption, or anyone who wants to read a story  by someone who  looks at his life seriously, but with humor, will enjoy The Kid,


The Modern World, Going on Faith—Why People Get Scammed

July 23, 2020

Me at the Eiffel tower—on top!

My week actually started before Sunday, when I paid my ‘Simply Mobile cell phone bill online.  I switched from Metro PCS  to Simply when I got the new phone several months ago…because it was $3 cheaper per month (that’s $$36 a year).  However, silly me—they don’t include taxes & fees like Metro, so I ended up paying about $2 more, How aggravating.  I got a receipt that said I paid…and Monday evening they turned off the phone.  It was too late for me to do anything but plan to go to the phone store on Tuesday & switch back to Metro.  but that’s not what you can do when a phone company turns off your phone…even when they send you an email stating that…” due to a technical error on( their part)”, they are refunding your payment.  You need your contract number & THEN HAVE TO CALL THEM to cancel.  I am not joking, So—as the phone store, using the phone store phone, I kept getting a busy signal from Simply Mobile.  I returned home,  paid online, then called Simply mobile after they reconnected me, to learn my contract number.  It took me 3 tries, but I finally learned my  contract number…so I can ditch them.

Before this happened, I had an appointment at Acorn Tire to have them install two new tires on my car.  I knew  it was going to take about 90 minutes, so I brought a book.  but the manager tells me they can change the tires, but I have to come back for balancing because their machine is broken.  I asked why they hadn’t called me. Shrugged shoulders.  SO I said  I was not going to make two trips since each one would last 90 minutes. I made another appointment to have both done the same day.
My sister is handling my father’s estate.  He had policies and accounts all over, and we are lucky to get a small inheritance. What is left in my father’s IRA,  to avoid heavy taxes, has to be ‘rolled over into our individual lRA’s.  That’s just some paperwork.  But ah, how can we make it more complicated? Edward Jones, my father’s brokerage, insisted on setting up an estate account for dispersal, and selling off all the stocks in my father’s account so the account can be smoothly liquidated.  Ok.  Not the best time to actually  sell stocks, but I understand. Now, to continue, they want me to open an account, and fill out a survey about my risk tolerance (the actual broker already knows I will not be trading but rolling this over at another planner’s office.  But not only that, they actually emailed me a form for an electronic signature, and then ANOTHER FORM ( 4 more, actually) to confirm my email address!  & because I opened it on my phone, I could not see that they wanted me to touch a code to send me to another website to confirm!  When I called the office to tell them was rejecting my input, and that this didn’t make any sense, the secretary’s answer was—in so many words, “It doesn’t’s just our policy.”
I decided to quit posting on Plenty of Fish because there were way too many scammers & men posing with cgrandchildren or children and—I kid you not—fish they’d caught) & who loved watching team sports….but mostly scammers. I went to Match.  Now, the thing about Match is that YOU can put your parameters up, but guys looking can, too, and override your parameters. Meaning: they are over 50 miles away, older, younger, Christian, etc, etc.
Most I just block, but I responded to  this young guy (I am even embarrassed to say how old he is—but he’s over 21), and he is a medical student from a Middle Eastern Country. He checks out—in  the way that if you Google his name, about a dozen people come up (his name is apparently like John Smith), all in the medical field.  So, this is a good segue into..
I’m in this Facebook  Group called “Catfish, Scammers, and Fake Profiles”, and  people—mostly women, post photos and ask, “Is this guy a scammer?”
This young woman met  guy on Kik (I am not familiar with the platform, but it’s a dating app). I’m on Tinder, and men post the most ludicrous things. Photos of flowers or landscapes or tattoos or cartoons.  Many just looking for a hook up especially truckers,, throwing spaghetti at a wall to see what sticks. Men looking to cheat on wives, men with Kinks.  My first question when a man messages me is, “Where do you live?”  that scares a lot of scammers off.  Not too many marine or mining engineers, but still ….too many scammers. So  this woman posts on the page, “Is this guy a scammer?” My response:
 I just gotta ask in a situation like this: apparently, YOU don’t live in ‘ni n canda’. Would you move from wherever you are for love? What would be the appropriate amount of time to correspond without meeting? I’d say a month. You can find out a lot in a month—& chances are it will take a guy more than a month to start asking for money. These  scammers know it, too. They know if you are willing to go on faith without meeting or pushing for a meeting before thinking you’re in love, you’ll do anything.
One thing I am really big on is NOT CONFUSING LOVE WITH SEX.  IF A MAN THINKS LOVE  AND SEX ARE THE SAME, YOU’RE IN TROUBLE. Men are different from women. they can fuck a vacuum cleaner.  Women need more stimulation and care. if you think words are the way to go, uh,no.
I know a huge part of the problem is that so many women are Christian, and want to be with a Christian man.  These Christians,  my dears, have accepted Jesus as their savior, and have admitted they are imperfect, but as long as they ask forgiveness, they get into heaven. Ergo….hat means asking forgiveness for ripping you off and messing with your head, leaving you broken-hearted.  Faith is bullshit.  That’s why science remains popular.
so, I gave the  young Middle Eastern medical student  3 days to have an actual conversation with me on a video chat, or he’s toast.

No Bad Dogs(LOL)

July 9, 2020

Remember Barbara Woodhouse? She was a dog trainer who claimed that there were no bad dogs.I always thought her to be naive. if you work with dogs, you know there are bad dogs. People breed bad dogs because they have no integrity and are only breeding dogs to sell as livestock—just to make money off of. They are not breeding dogs to improve their line or for the betterment of any breed. If you work with dogs long enough, you learn that most are smaller dogs. Yes, some are ‘Pit Bulls’, and the aberrant dogs of other breeds (Shiba Inu, Lagotto Romagnolo, even Scottish and Sealyham Terriers), but for the most part, the ‘bad dogs’ tend to be the types of dogs people want to carry around: purse dogs. They don’t come from ethical hobby breeders, not for the most part. They come from people who are breeding dogs to sell to people with money. Those people won’t ask about genetics. The buyers just assume the breeders have integrity. By far, the worst are Boston Terriers, French Bulldog, Jack Russell terriers, Lhasa Apsos…and mixes of those breeds.

I had a client who told me, when she started making excuses for her Yorkshire Terrier being aggressive, “Don’t allow in a small dog behavior you would not tolerate in a large dog.” She was right. It’s not cute, It’s dangerous. Those little dogs have teeth, and have no bite inhibition.

All the times I have been bitten badly enough by a dog to require emergency treatment, it’s been by a small dog. Why did those dogs bite me? In a couple of cases, the dogs had become demented by disease and old age. But the other times, the dogs just didn’t like what I was doing to them— likely cutting their toenails. They were not frightened. they were telling me who the boss was.

Rarely do I groom bad dogs, but we still have a few. Just the other day, I was waiting for a dog whom I knew was bad: Charlie. Charlie is, allegedly, a ‘cav-a-poo’. That is, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel crossed with Poodle. Maybe he is. I have no idea. Charlie was allowed to be the boss by his owners, and he never liked having his feet picked up or his face f touched. I learned to work around his idiosyncrasies, but should I have had to? I put right on his grooming card several years ago: #3 muzzle. I put it on him as soon as I get him on the grooming table. I’m always as gentle as I can possibly be. It does me no good to abuse the dogs, but the problem is usually owners in denial.

Charlies’ owners are Russians. They act entitled. They don’t care whom they inconvenience. They know we want all dogs into the shop between eight and nine in the morning, but they don’t care. They think they should arrive when it’s convenient for them…or maybe not at all. They don’t care if they cost us money.

Due to circumstances, my boss/coworker and I decided we have nothing to lose by raising his price a bit over 10%. We are fed up with accomodating people who think we should b pay them for the privilege of playing with their dogs. That’s not what we do.

It’s not lost on me that I make a living cutting dog hair when I have lived in countries where most people could not afford to buy a decent pair of shoes. Can you imagine explaining to normal people in Africa that people pay you to give dogs haircuts? I don’t even get into the fact that most of these dog owners have college loan debt, and really can’t afford the service I provide, but that’s capitalism.

Then, there are people in the pet industry deciding we should now call dog owners  …pet parents. I swear, the world—or at least the United States, has gone mad.


This —-from my sister. Ut didn’t reallyhappen to her. I want to preface this by saying I think the citronella collars are very humane. The dog corects himself, and usually, it takes just 1 poof of citronella, and they get the idea:

The neighbors had been complaining that my dogs have been barking non-stop. I hate the electric zapping bark collars so I purchased humane citronella collars. When a dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose, and apparently, they don’t like it.
This evening I was getting the collar ready and filled it with the citronella liquid. And that’s where my evening should have ended. But no, it’s me, and I begin to become curious as to “how” the collars actually work.
So I’m standing by my back door “barking” at my dog’s collar. Nothing happens. I make sure it’s turned on, check the fill level, and go through the “getting started” checklist one more time. Again, I bark. Nothing happens. Now I’m not quite sure, why I had this next thought, but I did…I put the collar on. I seriously extended the band and fit the growl box against my throat and barked. Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face.
I began coughing, which only caused the collar to continue squirting bug spray over and over into my nasal cavity. I’m now on my hands and knees in my back yard, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, the dogs are barking. So between coughing and yelling at them to stop, I’ve emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face. During all of this ruckus, I’m trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut during this whole fiasco.
I finally get the collar off and threw, yes I threw that inhumane thing across the yard, and lay in the grass sucking in the humid evening air. In the middle of thinking this is probably the dumbest thing I’ve done in a while, I hear laughter. MY NEIGHBOR SAW THE WHOLE THING! He was laughing so damn hard, he couldn’t breathe. Between gasps, he tells me, “I was gonna come help, but every time I started to come over, you’d set it off again, and then I would start laughing and couldn’t make it.” So now, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too. After checking to make sure I was ok, we parted ways and I went in to shower so I wouldn’t smell like ode de’ Tiki Torch.
Lesson learned: next time (yes, there will always be a next time with me) make sure that:
1. Don’t fill the collar before trying to set it off.
2. Remember your neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedy crisis situation.
On the plus side, I won’t have a mosquito problem for a few days!

An Ethical Dilemma

July 2, 2020

I want to preface what the dilemma is by telling the backs story: what actually went on. I am not sure why my brother was still living with my father when he remarried, but he was.  My brother was raising snakes, and he also raised mice and rats to feed the snakes. Often, because some of the snakes would not eat live food, he’d kill the mice and rats with carbon dioxide and freeze them.  He’d store them on a cookie sheet, covered with aluminum foil, and keep them in a freezer in my father’s basement.  He was not the only person using the freezer to store food.  He did not tell my stepmother, and one day, she went to put something in the freezer, saw the covered cookie sheet, uncovered it…and freaked out.  I learned of this when I called and she answered the phone. She was quite upset, and couldn’t tell me why, but since I had called to speak to my father, he told me what was going on.

I  thought it was sort of funny, but my stepmother did not.  I do understand her point of view. 

Things did not get better between my stepmother and brother, because my brother is a self-centered manipulator.  For over 30 years, he played my father.  My brother became a drug addict because he could not find anything else to do with his time, and he didn’t want to work a ‘real’ job if he could avoid it.  He stole drugs from pharmacies he worked at but got drugs other ways as well.  My father continued to bail my brother out of any trouble, including jail several times. My father bought my brother 4 places to live in and several cars.  We three daughters, begged my father to not give my brother money, but my father continued.  Yes,  Scott went into rehab a few times, but you don’t get ‘rehabbed’ if you aren’t committed to changing your life.

My father died a few weeks back. He was 92, and because he had fallen a little over a year before and had broken his femur, his quality of life was not so great. He was in a nursing home for a little over a year, and it was a very good facility, but the food bland, and he didn’t really like watching TV. Yes, Covid 19 was what got him.

My youngest sister had been given power of attorney for my father’s affairs. She had unraveled my mother’s accounts so many years before when my mother was dying.

My father had some G.I. insurance, an annuity, a trading account, an IRA, and a few other small accounts…plus his long term care account. A lesson to us all. If I ever have to go into a nursing home, I assume my house will be sold. But no matter…

Anyone following this blog for the past year knows the whole fraught dynamics due to my brother’s addiction. This, again, was complicated by my father continuing to give my brother money. Of course, Scott said he’d pay it all back…and so he owes the estate.

We three sisters take this very seriously because it was us trying to get my father to deal with problems efficiently. I suggested once that my father get a quitclaim deed to my brother’s house, so my father could sell it, so it wouldn’t go into foreclosure when Scott was incarcerated. Sharyn has sorted through his trashed house several times to see if anything could be salvaged. The last time, she took all the clothes she could find, and washed them. When she took the clothes out of the washing machine, she found a baby snake, It was alive….but it did not survive.

In any case, it looks like one of my father’s accounts will cash out at about $40,000—so about $10,000 for each of us. The ethical dilemma is that my father had, years ago, bought four cemetery plots.  One for my mothe, one for himself, one for me, and one for Scott.  Me? I hope to be cremated.  I guess my father assumed I would never remarry.  I told my sister to sell my plot back if she could. But my father wanted my brother buried next to him…’ for all eternity.’

We had to laugh. Our mutual feeling is, “Ok, if that’s what he wanted…” But Randi is worried that Scott won’t have the money for an actual funeral/burial. You know, the casket, digging the grave, that kind of thing.  Scott seemd to think what my father paid for was ‘all-inclusive.’

So Randi wants to set money aside for this eventuality. Seeing that Scott has not asked for any accounting at all, we both feel that there is no need to volunteer information and start causing more trouble.  Scott knows we all have the silver (the coins he bought as investments but  that Sharyn had to hunt for in his trashed mobile home…) and wants to buy it back from us for about 70% under posted value. Uh-huh. So Randi wants to just keep Scott’s share in a separate account. She felt that was an ethical dilemma.

I suggested she email Kwame Anthony Appiah, the moral ethicist for the New York Times,  Randi decided to ask my stepmother if this sounded ok.  My stepmother agreed with us—that unless Scott asks, we are keeping it aside for his funeral.

My stepbrother is a good son, and he calls his mother every day. So… Randi told my stepmother than when he asks what she did the other day, she can tell him she planned her stepson’s funeral.

Friends With Benefits? Catfishing…. Virtual Dating Covid 19

June 25, 2020

I don’t have a boyfriend, but I  am now thinking I’ve had a series of ‘virtual boyfriends’—with none of the benefits and all the aggravation.

It was Adam Smith who addressed the importance of integrity and the ability to trust as part of the economic social contract. When you expect a relationship to be long, you need honesty.

Integrity—a  favorite subject of mine, is out the window.  There is a huge segment of the world population that believes, as people, they are imperfect and bound to make mistakes, but as long as they accept Jesus as their savior, they can sin/do wrong and ask for forgiveness, and get into Heaven.

I tell men straight away that I  do not have a relationship with God, I make moral and ethical choices because I know it’s the right thing to do….& this is why I continue to have issues with Christian men.

To preface this, I want to address something that happened when my friend, Karen, was helping another friend find a roommate.  Janet’s roommate had died and Janet was not in great health herself.  So Karen agreed to advertise the apartment and screen prospective tenants.  A ‘foreign person’ saw Karen’s post on Craigslist, and said they were coming to Chicago, and they’d be happy to send a deposit. The deposit was $500, and they’d make out the check for $5000 and asked Karen to remit the rest.

Who does this?  Anyone you know who was raised in the USA?  No.  People find all sorts of ways to scam, but people in poor countries seem to make up ways.   So, Karen received the check, of course, didn’t cash it, and rented the apartment to someone ‘normal’ and in town.  A few weeks went by & ‘foreign person’ emails Karen, “Where’s the money?”

Karen asks, “Where were you?”

FP says, “Return the money.”

Karen says Janet had medical bills & spend it all on paying those. Now, of course, the check could not be cahsed, but holding out hope….FP was furious and demanded  Karen return it. Karen told them she was a famous violinist, waiting to get paid, and to take her to court, and FP wanted Karen to pay for the trip to the USA. Chutzpah there, eh?

My sister answered an ad on Craigslist for a job…doing investigations and taking photos for an insurance company or some such thing.  The company also sent her a check with a 500% overage and wanted her to send back the surplus. She went to her bank  and told a  banker what was going on. So they opened a new account to deposit this check, and wrote a bank draft for the person who wanted the remittance, and when that person went to cash the remittance, they were arrested.

&—go to any Craigslist in a major city, and the pet section of the list.  The rules state that it is for s rehoming pets—no sales or breeding—but they don’t enforce the rules:  they expect the community’ to flag off illegal posts.  The scammers know what dog breeds are in demand because illiterates post they are looking for:  Golden Retrievers, English sh & French Bulldogs Pembroke Welsh Corgies, Siberian Huskies, and  Yorkies & a Maltese.  but backyard breeders of designer mutts abound.  Most of the photos are copies, and you can tell by the wording of the post that the person posting has no idea what the fuck they are talking about.  Rare colors, micro teeny, AKC registered kittens.  & they put TYPE OUT  YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS to make sure they can ultimately hack you.  & people send them money based on photos as well as not actually reading the post. They actually think they are getting bargains, then they think a breeder ripped them off…but these are not breeders.  They are scammers.

& that’s how dating is when you’re an old ladyIt’s called CATFISHING. someone makes up a profile, but the person doesn’t really exist. Photos are copied. There’s gotta be a template. All these guys were either marine or mining engineers (now why are they in Chicago?), widowed, Christian (although if they go to church, forget it.).  Usually they have just one child—but often that child is overseas with grandma.  You can tell by the language they use that they are not native speakers. or, if they are, they are illiterate.

I am still looking for a muse, and it is not going well. I’ve wasted about 3 weeks on this guy: “Dennis Brown.”   We emailed. He said he was Catholic, but not religious  & didn’t go to church. I told him I was a writer.  He asked me what I wrote, and I told him that I wrote nonfiction, and erotica.  We had a bit of x-rated email.  Nothing as interesting as what follows.  He asked me to download Google Hang out.  I even got a new phone.  I’ve edited this lengthy conversation for brevity (believe it or not!  He repeats himself a lot):

DB: Dennis Brown Active 2h ago : Hello there! It’s Dennis from Plenty of Fish. I hope we connect after work tomorrow….Hello, dear hope the day treated you right! How was work today Yes the day was ok. I’m glad you’ve been able to figure it out now. I hope you enjoy it (edit:  he’s referring to Google Hangout)

RM: I find texting a necessary evil but better than a phone conversation.

DB: Yeah, same here. I’m sorry it has to be this way, for now, we got to manage it on here for a while

RM: & that means….? How much have you invested in this venture? You are self-funded? (edit: he has gone to London to sell jewelry he either made or bought to resell…that’s his story…also, he lost his ophone and had an appenc dicitis attack)

DB: ( edit:  notice—no answer to the above question) Okay so about today, I finally have the stitches taken out, but I think the wound isn’t fully healed so there was a little blood coming out at a point. They treated it and asked me to come back on Monday for a checkup. I don’t often use the app, I mostly use it for business purpose, I sometimes reach some customers on here I feel it’s easier and faster here.

RM: that’s upsetting. So what do you do all day? & again…. how is it you have unlimited funds that this doesn’t seem to be a concern? I want to tell you: after downloading the app, there were about 2 dozen ‘messages’ from sex workers seeking clients and another dozen from men I’m sure I did not know.

DB: I just stay in bed, eat, sleep, and watch some movies. I don’t have to engage myself in any form of stressful activities, I shouldn’t be carrying heavy stuff as well. I’m actually chatting from my Gmail account on my laptop so it’s the same cost. You can try it on your laptop too, it works. You just have to open your Gmail account, you will see your hangouts chats at the left lower side.I hope you didn’t reply any of those messages. I don’t know the people behind this but I once got a message like that

RM: I may do that because the app uses a lot of energy. Now, I asked you some questions. I want to be honest with you, & being evasive doesn’t work with me. Do you know who Manti Te’o is? You can Google him. I keep my profile up on PoF & Tinder. Amazing how so many men are either foreign-born widowers who have been engaged in engineering….& think they have a pretty good story going. But what isn’t a good story is they just can’t say when we can meet. Not even a ballpark idea of the time frame. Or my very favorite….the men who are in the vicinity & can’t give me a straight answer to WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS? I get the religion & political leanings out of the way fast, but if I have the slightest attraction, I address finances, to see if we’re on the same page. My only debt is my mortgage. I’ve invested well & I’ll be ok. A guy would sooner tell me how long his dick is before telling me how he makes a living & how he’s planned for his future. Several guys I have never met wanted me to commit….to what? Trusting the guy I am texting with is who he says he is?  Sorry… but I am a very skeptical person. You really should have suggested this (using the computer) before—it would have been easier.

DB: Sorry I didn’t suggest using the computer earlier but it’s not too late. You can go back to the computer and try what I told you, it’s not really difficult. I think you should try it now so that I can assist you if there is any problem. So the answer to your question, I wouldn’t want you to be committed for any reason especially at this point when we haven’t even met, had a face to face conversation to know if the connection is there, if we click or not. I personally wouldn’t want us to rush things at this point, we take it one step at a time. I’m glad you’re very careful with the financial status of your partner, it really matters a lot. I must say I’m financially stable, I have made numerous investments, I do my own business which is running smoothly, I own two houses, one in Northbrook and the other in Bedford, TX where I was born. I’m actually thinking of selling the house in Bedford because I barely visit the place. I don’t see myself having any sort of financial issue in the future, my future is secure, I’m living my best life.

RM: I’ll tell you what happened today at work………I couldn’t imagine why (X) went off like this but apparently, it was aimed at a coworker. So my manager & I were discussing this and I said, she hasn’t titled a dog in obedience or rally, has she? So I was telling G, my co-worker, that the titles prove you’ve demonstrated to 3 different judges that you have off-leash control of the dog. I’ve put 8 titles on 4 dogs. The(X) has 0 titles and is hoping her reputation based on her family keeps moving her along. Real chutzpah.

DB: I know there are lots of fakes out there but I do believe there are some real good ones out there too, it takes patience and a bit of tolerance to come across them. I mean the reason I had to delete my POF account was that I had enough on there and I just decided to take a step back and focus on us to see how far we can go. (  edit: actually, the scammers take down their profiles because they have to give contact info to the company ‘hosting’ and dating sites…& they have a ‘mark’—you—or me…)

RM: Well that’s good to know. I don’t know if I told you but when I was working in Bosnia, I told my father I was in California. The rest of my family knew. About a year later when he found out, he asked who knew. My sister told him that everyone knew. Then he asked why nobody told him, & my other sister told him,”I think you know why.” We girls, our mantra had been, “Don’t tell Dad.” This is how far we can go if you have no idea when you will return. I have 2 friends who met their spouses on the internet. But they are younger than I am….and I am not looking for a husband. But my bs detector makes me be very direct.

DB: What (X) posted on Facebook is very dumb, she’s just being overconfident. Why did you lie to your dad if you were going to work in Bosnia, at least you were going to do something to earn a living. Most parents will understand. I thought I already told you I will know when I’m returning home as soon as the stitches is taken out and I got it taken out today. Just that it needs some more treatment, that’s why I have to be at the hospital Monday. Whatever happens at the hospital on Monday will determine when I will be back home... it’s good to be direct, I don’t have a problem with that but you got to be a little patient sometimesI’m actually sick and tired of this place, I really want to be back home for good I’m hoping I get some great news from the hospital tomorrow so that I can start packing. 

RM: Regarding (X)—she’ s incredibly arrogant & entitled, and I guess she wanted to one-up G, my co-worker.  I’m not sure why she has a key to the kennel, but she’s not supposed to be there and gets away with it because (Y) is ill right now, but then we have to undo the damage she does.  As to why I didn’t tell my father….He called me once while I was in Malawi, when I had a phone in my house, to tell me I should not have gone. I was in Bosnia during the cease-fire, working on the election, but  I was chosen because more sensible people dropped out. My patience is all reserved for training dogs.  So, would you think you’d be returning within the next 2 weeks?  How is the food?  Seen any shows?  Anything interesting?  I’d go to museums. but I’d probably look for other dog groomers and whippet owners, too. I should be writing. A magazine editor asked me to put something together, but I’m too tired to completely focus, it’s been very hot & humid and we aren’t putting on the aircon until we can’t stand it anymore.

DB: It’s sucks to work around such people, arrogance is something I really dislike, it pisses me off to the max. So she actually posted that because of your coworker That’s childish. If I may ask, is there some kind of misunderstanding between them? The key has to be taken from her is she doesn’t deserve to have it, it’s that simple. You should also reserve some patience for humans as well lol, that actually put a smile on my face, you’re just great with your choice of words. Sure I should be back home within 2 weeks, if my appointment on Monday goes on well, I might even be back home earlier. I really want to get out of here, I chat with my son all the time and he wants me back home badly. The food is okay here, haven’t seen any shows yet, remember Covid is still here with us. To be honest! there hasn’t been anything interesting here so far, it’s been lock-down, stay at home protection and staying safe. Nothing really fun to do. I’m hoping to go visit a few places as soon as my health is back to normal before I leave here. Does it mean you will do some writing tomorrow? Or you got some other things to do tomorrow.

RM: Family businesses….(Y) ‘owns’ the kennel,  but it is actually in his mother’s name. That’s (X’s) grandmother.  (X’s) mother, died of her excesses (as they say) & the grandmother is easily manipulated. (Y) is very patient and very ill… X inherited almost $100,000 & blew it all.  I didn’t know what G was complaining about to my co-worker at first, then I mentioned her post, and my co-worker laughed & we got into a discussion of how you prove a dog is trained, and she has never titled a dog in performance. she’s like. “I want to teach you to speak French. I don’t speak French, but my mother spoke French, so I can teach you.”  Yeah, funny, huh.  I keep forgetting we can’t go anywhere, and to put on the mask (I keep them in my purse or pocket). We don’t wear them at work because it’s just us. Frankly, I’m pretty sick of eating my own cooking, to tell you the truth. Maybe that’s why the demonstrations were so well attended:  people had no work & couldn’t go anyplace else. If I hadn’t been busy, I would have gone to 1 of the demonstrations….& yes…after I do the vacuuming, I will write and do some other  computer work…I can barely keep my eyes open..

DB: .Oh okay, I now understand why this is happening, She didn’t really have to struggle for it. Y isn’t around because he’s ill so she has taken over and she’s doing anything of her choice, am I right? Yeah people came out in their numbers for the demonstration because most people are sick and tired of always having to stay indoors so this is the best opportunity for some fresh air. I can tell you’re really tired You should hit the bed anytime soon, you definitely need some good rest after a long day. I guess you went to sleep, I’m very sorry for the late response sleep sound dear.

RM:Business was ok until Covid19, but we were really affected by the end of the Bush era , because so many of our clients are elites.  In fact, it was just before Obama got elected that I closed my own grooming business that was close to them. I had had a major die-off of old dogs—who were coming in once a week for grooming, and I knew my clients would not replace those dogs.  I couldn’t find a smaller place to rent within 5 miles/ I could have struggled on, but it didn’t seem to make sense. Also, suddenly people were buying Doodles and wanted dog daycare, and it’s just too dangerous.   & I don’t know if I told you, the land the kennel is on is worth at least 5 times more than the actual business, and several fortune 100 companies have their eye on it.  We’re taxed at the agricultural rate, so  I’m sure the township is eager to get it sold. X knows nothing about this. Covid has affected every single business, I hope it goes real soon so that we can got back to some normalcy.

DB: Sorry you had to close your own grooming business due to the disaster, so you joined their business after you closed yours? No you didn’t tell me the worth of the land the kennel is on. Wow, that sounds like a whole lot of money, it’s good X knows nothing about it. That lady will surely ruin if she becomes the boss one day lol, that’s for sure
. How has your day been dear? Hope you had a beautiful day,

RM: For some reason, although I got your message on my phone, I can’t open hangouts on my phone.  Maybe it’s because power is down to 50%.  In any case…these service businesses are really marginal and subject to anything that happens in the economy.  We got deemed ‘essential I bet because so many politicians and their employees have dogs. In any case, you can find us using a Google map—but look where it is: it’s on S between L & D,  right by the tollway.  T was across the street from us, We heard there is another company on their campus now. Behind us is D—the credit card company. The land is worth a minimum of $3 million, probably more—It wouldn’t shock me if they were offered $15 million..  And the other problem is this is a family of dog people. They built the kennel. it’s a great kennel, but they know nothing about modern marketing, and it’s suffered a bit because we aren’t replacing older clients who move or die.  Anyways, what did I do?  A neighbor was giving away some stemware, so I went & got that, then, I  wanted vinegar, so I went to the dollar store, it never fails, I walk in there, nobody is in line, By the time I’ve got a dozen things,  2 cashiers are working, but 1 is seeming to have some sort of problem, and it just took forever to t get out of there. But a friend came over & we played Scrabble. Her daughter has been going out with a  guy for over a years & they are probably going to get married next Spring, and K was thinking about the cost.  I worked on an article I’ve been drafting & did laundry, and now I’ve been watching the Last Dance about the 1990s Bulls.  It’s very well done.  Phil Jackson made them into a machine, and it was great to see the old games.  Now I am going to take a bubble bath and try to stay up to watch Saturday Night Live..

DB: Does it mean you are replying from your laptop? Most businesses in the States are subjected to anything that happens in the economy, sorry we both find ourselves in a business like that, I can see the business has a very good location, I understand why it has such a good value. These guy are actually going to make some huge sums from this property. I guess you are going to work with them till you decide to quit. Sorry they wasted your time at the store but then I hope you got everything you wanted.

RM: My computer is old—a desktop, so, yes. I have to get a new computer & I will be.  Microsoft won’t support my version of Word past October.  Yes,  they will make a boatload of money, but Y’s too ill to enjoy it, his mother is too old, and X will ultimately get it. I’ll work until the kennel is sold. I  won’t take Social Security until I’m 70, but I may tap my IRA,  I take care of all housework, as it is the expedient thing to do. He is usually very precise about most things, but his standards are lower than mine.  & yes, I’m still drafting, when you write, it’s best to let it sit for a while &  edit with fresh eyes. Have you ever checked out my blog?   I hope you had a nice day and are out of pain. The pills the doctor gave me are more effective, but I am going to get my hips x-rayed Monday & then have an appointment with a surgeon to discuss options.  & I also volunteered for an experiment with a cosmetic surgeon, so we’ll see how that goes.

DB: I think even with an old computer you might still have your hangouts at the left down corner on the screen when you open your Gmail account. Have you tried it? You got to update your word or get a new one installed if Microsoft isn’t supporting it. Provided you still have enough energy to work, I don’t think it’s a bad idea if you still want to work. Your social security and IRA can wait for now, that’s if you don’t need them. I did check out your blog and I must confess, you’re doing a great job on there, BRAVO. I haven’t really had time to read a lot but with the few stuff I read in Choices, it’s just excellent. Will take some time to read more. I’m. I’m halfway out of pain, I’m hoping for a better response from the doc when I visit on Monday. I’m glad the pills they gave you are more effective. Have a great night dear, hope to hear from you when you’re wake.

Sleep soundHello dear, How are you doing? Hope all is well with youI’m ok—

RM: I am going for an x-ray tomorrow.  I have to email some information to my sister, and then write what she told me, because she’s trying to straighten out both my father’s and her brother-in-law’s estates. She was also editing some of my writing, so that’s what today was.    You seem to have a very zen attitude about your own situation.

DB: As you already know, I will be seeing the doc tomorrow as well, I’m hoping this will be the last time I have to visit the hospital. Are you done emailing the information to your sister, it’s cool how you get along with your sister so easily. How often do you guys visit each other?

RM: I am hoping, ultimately,, that I just need a cortisone shot, but I’ll have to get that far.  Yes, she needed some info on some auction houses.  I  used to work in resale stores and had enough of an eye to know when to check to see if something was worth auctioning rather than guessing at a price to stick on something.  But she wanted to talk about ‘an ethical dilemma’ and it’s so funny I have to blog about it—so I want to draft that.   Some stuff is so incredible, you have to write about it.

DB: It’s best if you just get a cortisone shot, you wouldn’t have to go through much stress with that. Could you provide all the necessary info she needed on the auction houses? You seem to have a different kind of work experiences, this simply showers how smart and hard-working you are. You’re going to blog about it too lol, does it mean you blog about every single thing that goes on around you? That’s what most writers do right. Writers shows**Sorry for the typographical errors.

RM: I’m 66—I’ve either worked in resale stores, groomed and trained dogs, or drafted laws and strategies.  What have been your varied work experiences?  The problem with cortisone is that if they have to keep doing it, it dissolves your bones.  However, I’ve gotten 2 shots in my hand, and although my doctor says he can feel calcification, my hands give me no trouble.  The reason I am going to blog about what Randi’s’  said was that she put it as ‘an ethical dilemma’, and I can understand why she wanted my opinion, but my father set things up in such a way that it was worth discussing.  Yes, Dennis, I am pretty smart and can think things through, but this is all banter. It’s very difficult for me to carry on a conversation with someone I don’t have a natural connection with.  & this isn’t natural.  It’s awkward.   I assumed you had wanted to do this to make it a video call.I’m off to bed. I have to get started early.

DB: I don’t really have a horizontal work history, I’ve either worked in Engineering or Jeweling. I used to be an Engineer in Newmont Corporation and became a full-time Jeweler. I was still into jewelries (sic)when I was working as an Engineer. Oh okay, you’ve already had 2 cortisone shots in your hand, then you need to be careful because too much of it can be bad. Let me know when you’re done blogging it so that I can go and read what you have there for us. Robyn, I understand you’re not comfortable with this online stuff but you should understand this is what online dating is about, I’m personally not happy with this text and response way of getting to know each other but it is what it is, we have to manage it on here at least for now till I return home. It’s good to get in touch while we are a distance apart than not to get in touch at home. Yes it’s awkward this way but we have to manage it, for now, I actually made us come on here because I wanted us to have some video chats because that’s what I mostly do with my customer but I realized the laptop I’m using now has it’s camera broken so I’m planning to get a webcam so that we can start having some video chats. This is a friend’s laptop I’m using, my own dropped on the floor and the screen got broken so I’m not able to use it now. We can start having video call as soon as I purchase a webcam, I hope you are cool with that alright dear, it’s fairly understandable if you want to catch some sleep now, you got to work tomorrow. Have a great night dear, Sleep sound. Talk to you tomorrow all, not at home***Goodnight off I go. 

RM: google Manti T’e’o. 

DB: Manti Te’o, the American Footballer? How was work today?

RM: No work until Wednesday. got an x-ray, can’t see the doctor until July 2. So much for this enhancing conversation…

DB: That’s cool, you have enough time to rest then. Does it mean your appointment with the orthopedic surgeon is canceled? I hope everything went on well at the hospital today.

RM: I  made an appointment but can’t see the surgeon until July 2—that was his soonest appointment.  So I take the pain pills—which are just a megadose of Ibruprofen, every morning. They help some.  I edited some writing today, Normally I’d go to a movie—but there are no movies.  How are you? I am going to bed because I have to be downtown early.  Then, the rest of the day is not really anything.

DB: Sorry you would have to wait until July 2nd to see the surgeon. I hope the pain pills is effective enough to keep you strong until July. The good news on my side is the doc said everything is alright with me now, he only gave me some pills to take for a week and I shouldn’t engage myself in any stressful activity for now

I’m a happy man now Took the picture on our way home from the hospital.  (Edit:  he did say he didn’t have a camera on his phone).Glad you were able to do some editing today, you’re doing a great job with your writing. Does you mean you go to the movie anytime you’re back from work? I guess you went to bed, sleep sound dear. Hope to hear from you tomorrow. Have a great night.

RM: The first show of the day in Evanston is the ‘bargain’ show—if $6 is a bargain—tho now that I’m a senior citizen, they are all ‘bargains’— it’s better to go early when there are no kids.  There is also a theatre 2 blocks from my house that serves alcohol.  I’m not much of a drinker, but sometimes it’s fine, especially for a comedy.  But I usually leave for work by 7, finish around 1 (as long as nothing goes wrong), then often food shopping or anything I have to do up north. I  take Sheridan Road home, that’s a nice ride. Remember, I only work 2 days a week.  I try  to do something creative every day, whether it is editing or writing.  I keep a very regular schedule. If I sleep too late, I wake up with a headache..So you are healed enough to travel?  BTW…how did you start making jewelry.  Did someone teach you? Did you apprentice?  Or did you take a class?  I have a couple of friends who make jewelry but mostly bead stuff or wire.  1 had an etsy site for a white, but she got very sick, and I think she gave it up.  Have you ever been to the “One of A Kind” show at the merchandise mart?  I’ve bought earrings there.  since I like art, it’s a great show.I may try to go to bed early. Tornado warnings & storming from a tropical storm in the gulf.  I have work tomorrow.  Today was …weird.  I  ‘volunteered’ for a  cosmetic procedure (I will be paid) with a doctor who I’ve had a marginal relationship with & he has a great reputation, but he told me, I’d swell up for a few weeks before we’d see results.  He wasn’t kidding, I can’t imagine people pay for this, but the staff says it’s in high demand.  I look like I’ve had an allergic reaction to something.  Masks are only going to enhance this.  & now, you go into a public building & they take your temperature & ask you if you’ve traveled, been tested, know anyone with covid19, lost your sense of smell or taste, had a fever, had any symptoms. Be prepared . are they doing this  in England?&—then they have you sign a contact sheet—so if you do get sick, they can do contact tracing. for real.

DB: How many days do you go for a show in a week? Didn’t know you work 2 days a week, I think it’s good for your age because you will have enough time for yourself. I now understand why you are always writing or editing. Do you have specific days your go-to work or it’s a random selection? I’m talking about the two days you have to go to work. Yes I’m healed now but I will have to wait and finish with my pills then I go for my last checkup before I get on a flight, so I’m going to use this period to accomplish everything I have to do here before I go for my last checkup. I will be seeing the doc on Tuesday which happens to be my last visit then I can finally get on a flight home. About how I started making jewelry, I took a class because I had always wanted to do something relating to Jewelries because I love to see people wear them. But then I started dealing in precious stones and metals after some years when I met a business friend who introduced me to that business. It paid so good that I wasn’t paying attention to making jewelries at a point. As it stands, I still have majority of my focus on these precious materials than making of the jewelries. Yes I have been to the “One of A Kind” show at the merchandise mart, it’s a very great show.I’m very sorry for the late response, have been trying to get myself together because I have to step out tomorrow. I have a few errands to run since I have been staying at home for the past days doing nothing. I haven’t really stepped out since I felt sick so I don’t know how it is like over here when you go into a public building. I see them checking temperature and some other stuff in the news but I haven’t been a victim yet, let’s see what happens tomorrow guess you went to bed. Have a great night babe. Sleep well

RM: I used to go to a movie about once a week, depending on what’s showing.  During the school year, I try to get to Northwestern for  Wednesday lunchtime lectures.  I often get to the Block museum on Friday nights for movies. I have friends who are Art Institute & Museum of Contemporary Art members, so sometimes we go to shows at these museums. I work just Wed & Friday now, but I was also working Monday mornings for a private client. Since even her husband was at home since quarantine, they’ve been grooming their own  7 dogs. they show dogs & had been hoping to place 2, but I think they still have 2 in show coat, and my boss actually grooms 1 a week.  There are 2 breeds that I think are not worth the bother to keep in show coat;  Cotons & Miniature Schnauzers. but whatever.  I had been a court advocate for a nonprofit group, & when things settle down, I’ll go back to doing that 1 day a week..  I’m off to work now, & then I  am going to see my sister since she is not far from where I work. Still dealing with my father’s estate, and I got a notice of a rollover in my IRA, so I am waiting for my financial planner to call me back, as it was for about the same amount  I was supposed to get from 1 of my father’s accounts.  I could have bought uncut gems when i was in Jaipur &  Chang Rai, but since I have no idea what I’m looking at, I didn’t.…  this is from John  Oliver. He’s really spot on. Our mayor, Lori Lightfoot, whom I voted for in the primary (after t looking at the platforms of a dozen other candidates), ran on a platform of police reform.  I hope the aldermen take this seriously. I know my own alderman does, but she is almost too far the other direction without addressing  tha1 reason we have so many poor people in our ward is they can’t afford to live anywhere else—and we have a lot of disinvested housing stock. I don’t think enough white people know how badly cops treat people of color.

DB: Sorry for the late response dear, I have been communicating with some customers on here, I had a long day, How has your day been? Did you go to work today? When you talk about your boss, who are you referring to because I thought Y was your boss and he is sick now, Or I got it all wrong. How does being a court advocate feel? Thought you guys were done dealing your dad’s estate, I hope it’s going well. There are rumors speculating that this whole craziness going on about George Floyd is staged and that Obama tweeted a photo of George Floyd nine days before his death, meaning he knew something about itI’m yet to know how true that is. I also head the police involved have no record of being a cop. This whole thing is getting confusing now

This is what he had on his page nine days before George’s death I’m honestly sorry we don’t get to talk much lately, I will make it a point to spend enough time with you on here tomorrow since you have no work.I guess you are in bed now, talk to you later babe.

RM: I spend a lot of time on Facebook(since all the groups I am a member of use it now instead of having a newsletter, and my overseas friends use it,too, and I’ve seen the rumor, and of course, the right-wingers would start a rumor like that. I’m surprised at how many white people I know who don’t believe that the police in the USA target blacks. In the case of George Floyd, 1 of the 4 cops was only a day on the woman posted a blog about traveling with her black standard Poodle, when she moved from 1 state to another, & how many times she got pulled over by the police (I have it on my personal FB page) for ‘impeding traffic(driving under the speed limit…then not being charged. finally, she was in a diner, and someone told her a black guy was stealing her vehicle—and she realized they saw her Poodle from behind, and it all made sense.  I had a black male roommate years ago, and I was going out with a black guy , and they were always being stopped for either walking or driving while black. The police have to look like they’re doing something, and there’s systemic racism, Google John Oliver on the police, His show on how it is is excellent.  I was asleep. but I got up, but I can sleep in tomorrow.  Y is my boss. His girlfriend is my manager, but on Wednesdays my co-workers & I work alone  We’re self-managed. We know our jobs.  Being a court advocate is actually boring because the court is not like on TV.  Lots of waiting around. sometimes you can’t hear.  You aren’t allowed to read, and for some reason,  judges hear certain cases & court gets adjourned for up to 1/2 hour at a time. You have to look for the prosecuting attorney to learn case status. but, when we’re there, the judge is usually informed, and it can make a big difference in sentencing, and sometimes on whether a case gets continuance.  My sister and I have done it for cases involving animal crime, & my sister Sharyn, who just moved to Tennessee, had done it for abused women. My dad’s estate will probably take about a year, because my father had so many accounts & the insurance companies are slow. Also because he set up a trust, we can’t cash out some assets I got 2  tax notices the other day in the mail for a rollover in my IRA, and I thought—due to the amounts in each account, it was from my father, but it turned out it’s from my own account that my advisor moved into annuities (which I asked him to do)—but for some reason, tax records come at an odd time..  My sister was questioning why I don’t consolidate accounts, since I have a Roth, traditional, and self-employment plan IRAs, and what I did was put them all with 1 financial advisor because it was getting too complicated, but when you add to any IRA, unless it’s all in trading accounts (& a lot of it was), it’s impossible.  I was hoping we’d have more of a chat, but I can’t keep my eyes open, and clearly, We’re on different schedules.

DB: Yes you’re right, the police in the USA target blacks and it’s quite amazing how most whites don’t believe this. The USA police always have their focus and target on the blacks, I have several customers complaining about how the police always stop them and try to find faults on them. They stop them and act like they are doing something when they are actually not doing anything, this craziness must stop, all people must be treated equally. I watched the link you sent me on John Oliver and he is excellent, John seem to be very mad which he has every right to be. How this policy is treating the protesters is just annoying and unacceptable. How many siblings do you have? I thought you had just a sister. I can tell you guys have a lot to do concerning your father’s estate, how long has he had the estate? It might be a  bit tiring when you’re working on such a thing and the insurance companies are slow, yes it sucks too. I was actually wondering why you don’t consolidate accounts.
What have you been up to today? I know you probably did some writing/editing. Did you do something aside that?

RM: I’m watching a movie online now, but I have work tomorrow. I  edited something for a magazine article.  What I did was go to sell my aluminum cans, and Google said the business was open, but they weren’t. when I turned in cans in January, they told me they weren’t moving south (about 30miles!) until November, but they had the land. I guess because of the quarantine, they just said “the Hell with it,” & closed. they are in what will be Lincoln Yards—about the worst thing that could happen  to Chicago, because  Rahm  convinced the aldermen to give money that should have gone to schools & mental health services to a private developer./  I know 1 alderman pretty well, Scott Waguespack, and he agrees with me, & we thought Lori would put an end to this If they couldn’t get private investors, too bad. That’s how capitalism works. Instead, they are going to make a really bad traffic area, because they are really close to the Kennedy, even worse, it that can be imagined.  In any case, I’ll take the cans into a place on Rt.22 after work tomorrow, I have about 50 lb.  It’s a bad habit, picking up cans when I’m out with the dogs,  but they used to be 50c a pound, and they are down to15c. anyways, I had to pick up a check and then went to see a groomer right up the street who I used to work for.  Then, as I was coming home, Lori Lightfoot & Bobby Rush (he used to be a Black Panther, & now is a congressman) did a news conference. I don’t know if it went international, but  his campaign office was broken into last week during riots, and about 6 police can be seen making coffee, popcorn, talking on cell phones, & lounging around his office—on security cameras!  the police union said the damage was already done to the area stores, so they were—essentially—securing his space. How many does it take? 2—not 6.  You just have to laugh at how bad the police ar. They just don’t provide security in minority communities.  You know an ‘estate’ is the assets you leave when you die, right?  I have 2  sisters & a brother. then 2 stepsisters & a stepbrother, but we were all out of the house when my father remarried, so I barely know them.  In any case, when my father died, he had about 20 charge cards, and my sister had to cancel all those, and he had so many insurance policies, and you can’t just consolidate them. He left an IRA, and that has to be divided by the trust, so to cash it out, it gets owned by the trust and them our ‘shares’ get  ‘rolled over’ to our IRA accounts to postpone taxes.  And his trading account also goes into a trust, and it’s hard to determine what that’s worth. We have a ballpark idea.  Then, small policies here & there. Randi keeps really good records because there are so many businesses she had to deal with. My father also had a small cleaning supplies distribution business.  I can’t imagine how he made money last year, but apparently, he did, and Randi says his tax bill is $1500.  The only other thing I  did was I needed a high-resolution copy of my book cover for an ad, and I had to deal with the publisher because the magazine editor said if it wasn’t high resolution enough, it would ‘fade out’ on publication.  Oh, & my sister gave me a bunch of clothes, and I was able to consign a bunch with a friend who has a shop, but I can’t consign the winter stuff, so  I think some neighbors will want some of it & the rest I’ll donate. & I  am going to sell some books on Saturday, but now, after being closed, the buying hours have changed.  See, a lot of busywork.

DB: What movie are you watching? Yeah, are you a fan of movies, What’s your favorite movie? I know you can’t go a day without writing or editing. I did run some errands today, I went to deliver some jewelries which was purchased. That was the last set of jewelries I had on me and I’m happy I have them sold out now. I mistakenly added jewelry to one of the customers’ stuff which was supposed to go to a different customer I had to contacts all customers I did deliver stuff to today, to know who got it, I was so lucky the people who had it came clear, I would have lost a $1600 worth of jewelry today, so that was the problem of the day, glad it was resolved. Do you normally go out to sell the tin cans or it’s something you started recently. You seem to be very business-minded, I really admire that. You take advantage of the least opportunity you get, such a smart woman. Having you as part of my life will be such a blessing. I cherish your level of intelligence. Looking forward to the day we finally meet so that we can take it from there. Quarantine has really affected lots of businesses, I’m hoping we get rid of COVID real soon. No no no, why would money that should have gone to school and mental health services be given to a private developer, this isn’t right and something needs to be done about it. The police really suck and I don’t even want to talk about them now, they drive me crazy. They just need to do their job right and there wouldn’t be much problems in the States, we got to love each other as one person, everyone has to be treated equally. Yes I know an estate is everything comprising the net worth of an individual, including all possessions, financial securities, cash and other assets the individual owns. I was thinking you were talking about a real estate something, sorry I misunderstood that. Does it mean your sisters and brother are all in different States, how often do you guys see each other? About your step-siblings, do you guys get in touch at all? Is Randi your sister? Do you have a high-resolution copy of your book cover now or you are still working on it. I’m glad you consider giving some stuff to your neighbors and making donations as well. You’re helping the people around you in the little way you can which is very nice of you. About you going to sell some books on Saturday, is it going to be the first books you’re selling or you have been selling for a while now I guess you are already in bed since you have work. What time do you normally go to work? Have a great night, sleep sound

RM: Yes, I went to bed & fell asleep immediately. I’ve been meaning to ask you–do you have siblings?  Do you have a favorite movie? I generally like comedies. But the 1 that isn’t is American Beauty.  it was very well produced & acted.  I like  When Harry Met Sally &  You’ve Got Mail, Some Like it Hot, Fantasia, and I’ve seen Bohemian Rhapsody several times.  My siblings & I usually only see each other about twice a year unless we make specific arrangements, I was seeing Sharyn about every 3 months because I was grooming her dog & then going to a special warehouse grocery in Joliet, She just moved to a rural place in Tennessee.  She likes where she moved but is at least 20 miles from anything.. Randi is up in Lake Forest, about 5 miles up the road from where I work, and now that she & her husband are retired, I’ll probably see them more. I never see my brother. He’s still mad at me from about 10 years ago when even tho he was foreclosed on and would have been evicted, I had the health department come out because of the description of his place from my sisters.  I’ve been self-employed  for at least 1/2 of my work life. to be self-employed, as you are aware, yu have to be disciplined and when you aren’t working you are looking for work—or income. I’ve been selling books for about 20 years.I also collect books for the Chicago women in Prison Book Project (Sharyn was sending books to men), and another group that sends containers to Africa.  Until about 20 years ago I was sending books M bag to schools in Malawi, but the post office stopped doing that. I guess they do another program now because my Peace Corps group was sending stuff, but the Peace Corps was suspended.  Yeah, I’m a left-over hippie do-gooder, and actually, in Rogers Park, we have a Facebook group to give stuff away, and we have a system of sorts to spread around things to recycle.  I help start a  recycling center in 1984, so I’ve been recycling a long time, but aluminum was selling for a lot more. There are a couple of book stores that I deal with, and I know what they’ll buy, for the most part.  I also consign a lot of stuff. Since my neighborhood is very high density, people put stuff in the alleys. I have some friends who started selling books online and now make more selling junk they find. they also inherited a house, so that helps.  & my stepmother, of course, got the townhouse she shared with my father.  They liked it, but I never like the layout.  My father taught me to be entrepreneurial, but there is a limit to my ambition. I’ve never had more than 2 employees, and even when I had them, managing them sometimes was a hassle.  I’m pretty good at spotting trends, however.    I have to go back to sleep.

DB: No, I have got no siblings. I am the only child of my parents, I have always wanted to have siblings, always wanted to know how it feels to have people you know they always got your back no matter what happens. Here I am with just a son too, I think it’s a family thing. My favorite movie is HITCH by Will Smith, it all about love. I do like comedies as well. I guess it’s fun time anytime you guys come together, it cool you guys still get in touch except that your brother is mad at you which I don’t think you should be bothered about because he might even not be in his right state of mind. To be self-employed you really need to be disciplined, you’re either working or looking for look just to make sure you always have food on your table. I’m glad you make good use of the little opportunity you get, that’s the only way to survive when you are self-employed. Selling books for 20 years means a lot, is that how you developed the habit or writing or you have been selling your own books for 20 years. Yes I know aluminum was selling for a lot more but not anymore, I had some friends who were into recycling so I knew how the recycling business was at a point. Do you also sell some books online? I can tell your dad really worked very hard while he lived so he has a lot left behind for you guys, you all should be proud of him. Your dad teaching you to be entrepreneurial is the greatest thing he could ever teach you, I think being entrepreneurial entails a lot and helps you personally. 
How was work today? Hope the day treated you right.

RM: We siblings are not very close, emotionally.  Yes, Scott is mentally ill, but it works for him R. D. Laing wrote a book called “The Politics of Experience,” and the gist is that it is not up to anyone to say who is crazy.  But all cultures have norms, and some are more sympathetic than others. We have so many homeless people partly because of the economy, but mostly because some people always expect others to take care of them;  some are real moochers, and their support ‘system’ says  ENOUGH.  & then there are those who believe it f they just pray (like, instead of work), they will be ok in the end.  30 years ago, I worked with a young woman who was the sole support of her invalid mother. & then she got pregnant—-with twins, and our  fellow  employees thought we should have a shower for her, because now she had 3  to support, and I asked, “Where is the father of your kids?” & I was the bad one.  In my community, it is appropriate to ask why the father isn’t supporting kids.  Clearly, we are out of step.  In any case,  we’ve all tried to help Scott  & he’s lied and taken advantage, and we are not helping anymore.      I’ve always been writing and it brings in several hundred dollars a year. It’s mostly nonfiction stuff for the pet industry, but when this guy started bullying me so many years ago, I thought it would be a good exercise to write regularly, and these days, to get a book published, you need an internet presence. Today, I just had 3 dogs. In fact, I posted before & after photos of the Bedlington on my Facebook page.  Apparently, Bertie’s people tried to groom her at home, She was a mess. The Bedlingtons have linty coats, and it was all I could do to get her dematted enough to give her a bath.  Then I had a Tibetan Terrier who also got some home grooming, and a giant German Shepherd who hadn’t been groomed in over 6 months, & the owners always want us to cut his hair. I told her I’d clip the hair around his rear,  belly/chest, tail, and feet, but otherwise just deshed him.   If they’d just use a proper brush they could control the shedding, but nobody ever thinks of that.  Then, I went and turned the cans in.  Just under $9 for 51 lb. LOL.  too bad I can’t find any copper or brass. Then the day got away from me.  I answered some emails.  I am about to go to bed.;  I know we have a time difference. Are you just getting up or what?

It’s getting pretty banal…..

DB: In as much as there are so many homeless people because of the economy, there are also people who are moochers, yes there always expect people to take are of them which really sucks. Yes I know there are people really in need who can’t really help themselves but there are others who can help themselves but just refuse to because they feel society has to take care of them.
You probably asking that question will surely make you the bad one in the eyes of these people, how can you give birth without the father of the kids supporting, like how. But they wouldn’t understand it that way. Enough with Scott, I think we should just stop talking about him for now, he’s happy with the life he’s living, we should accept that. Good, you get some little cash from the sales of the books, it supports you in a way. Glad you no longer work with that ungrateful guy who was just trying to take advantage of you, it feels good to be on your own and I’m happy you are on your own now. I think we all need an internet presence in whatever we do, this is what the 21st century is about.

RM:I still can’t believe this is the 21st century and there is so much discrimination and we don’t have single-payer. & we let the environment get this bad.

DB: Do you go to various homes to groom as well? Oh no, 51 lb got you just under $9, too bad. The value for these cans must have really gone down. Yes dear, it is the 21st century but we still seem not to be doing the needful. Let’s hope things get better someday. I guess you will be going to bed anytime soon. What did you have for dinner?

RM: It is now Saturday.  I generally don’t go to peoples’ homes,. The breeders have all the grooming equipment, so I  do, and you don’t have to chase their dogs around.  But several years ago, I walked dogs for a company, & even though I was supposed to know where leashes and burglar alarms were, even that was a challenge.   Mobile groomers are always complaining about people not being ready with their dogs, or a dog being too large. Dinner was salad, I made soup because I had salmon gyoza, leftover rice with tuna.  It’s usually salad, rice or pasta, rarely potatoes, often either broccoli, cauliflower, or Brussels Sprouts, sometimes eggplant, and either fish or chicken or tofu.  What do you usually eat?

DB: I thought you sometimes go to their homes to groom the dogs, I was imagining how stressful that will be, having to move from one house to another. Mobile grooming sounds like so much work. I normally take in juice, salad, rice, cauliflower, I’m very mindful of my diet because of the surgery, I don’t have to take in heavy stuff to prevent me from struggle when I have to to use the washroom because it can affect the surgery(hope you get what that means). I didn’t really have a good day today, How was your day by the way?


RM: What happened that the day didn’t go so well?  Are you ok?  I cleaned the house, ordered a new rug steam cleaner, and went & sold some books.  They told me they are barely surviving & have to be pickier and pay less, but he did pay me $14 for about 5 books, which was fine.  I will see another vendor in a few weeks, but they have paid the best. Then, I stopped to see another groomer who I’ve known over 40 years, as she was on the way home & I had some of her mail (she had no address for a while as she was living in an illegally converted space), and she asked me to do her a favor & transport soil about a mile from her shop to her space.  She’s growing vegetables along the side of her building—-but it’s a parking lot so she needed soil.  Then I went and played Scrabble with my friend Karen, and for once, I got decent letters most of the time.  Now I’m watching the documentary about the  1990s Chicago Bulls. How long have you been selling jewelry?  How do buyers find you?  How do you know what to charge?

DB: I’m okay but had a little problem. I went out for my last business deal today trying to get some precious stones and metals back home to make some good money from them but there is an increment in the prices which probably exceeded my budget, so I ended up using the money I had on me to purchase them, I’m left to pay for the insurance and other duties before I get them back home. I was thinking I should share this with you to see if you’re in a good position to help me out. I will pay you back as soon as I’m back home. I’m not happy doing this at this point but I don’t have a choice, you are the only alternative I have left. I will be glad if you’re able to help me out. Glad you got yourself busy today, hope you weren’t stressed out in the end. I have been selling Jewelry for 16 years, I already have some buyers here whom I communicate with so I showed them some stuff I had before coming here and they placed their order so my only job was to get it to them when I get here. We mostly chat on hangout that’s why I’m familiar with this app

RM: I was waiting for this, & the answer is no.  I’m disappointed, but not surprised.  You really strung me along.  & I let you. I wondered how many weeks you’d stretch this out.

DB: Excuse me, what do you mean by that It’s cool if you’re not in a good position to help me I’m not happy with you telling me you have been waiting for this, it feels a bit weird excuse me.

RM: but I am sure, if you’ve been doing this for 16 years, you must have some savings, a credit card that would allow a cash advance if you actually need cash, or whomever you’re staying with (using a friend’s computer, you had told me—which was why we could not do video).  Most  ethical business people will take credit cards. We do not know each other.    You haven’t been reading my blog—have you?  I’m pretty transparent.  You can Google me & learn a  lot about me.  You?  No evidence of you, really, or  rather, the Dennis Brown in Northbrook apparently lives with several other people.  You don’t seem to know how fraught online dating is, which is why I last blogged about Manti  Te’o.  When I responded to your post on PoF, it was because you lived close to me. I can’t tell you how many men, when I ask them where they live, can’t give me a straight answer.   But worse, they all ‘temporarily’ out of the country. So, why not suspend your profile if you are? I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but, since I haven’t actually met any of the men who have told me they are out of the country (&—what a coincidence….all Catholic), and I AM NOT DATING ANYONE, I ‘ve had a correspondence with several.  Why do you think I should trust you when I have no real evidence at all that you are who you say you are, let alone dealing gems?  We’ve maintained mostly banal conversation.  I suppose you want me to wire money in some way?   Sure, I could do it—but I’d be an idiot.  I once worked with a lawyer who told me that anyone who couldn’t come up with $5000 in a hurry isn’t credible.  You really have no idea how many men charm women, and women who are lonely and stupid send money to men they have never met. We have never even talked on the phone. You left out a step.  I hope you prove me wrong and understand I am insulted, after all my correspondence, that I am stupid. I can tell by how you’ve addressed me in your responses to me, that you really are not so forthcoming.  I won’t believe you really exist until you  are  in Chicago

DB: I remember telling you I lost my cards and cell phone at a point and that’s why I’m using a friend’s computer. I think I told you all this so why are you saying this now, I wouldn’t have asked for your help if I had all my cards with me. My friend has been the one taking care of me throughout my time at the hospital. I came here on a budget and COVID ruined everything, I have spent more days over here than I was supposed to so it’s obvious I will be out of cash, especially when I have lost my wallet and cell phone I understand we don’t really know each other and that’s why I feel more terrible asking for your help at this point because it’s not healthy for a starting friendship but I don’t have a choice at this point. I’m surprised you’re talking about finding me on google, how is it then? How possible is it. Does it mean everyone is available on google, sounds a bit funny to me but it works for your so I respect that

RM: No—LOL—maybe that was another woman you told that to. You know, you can go to  any credit card office  & even phone them to stop cards & issue emergency cards.  I had a friend who lost her cards in Austria last year & she had a new card in 24 hours..  No Dennis.  Never.   I don’t give men money.   & I guess, if you don’t have cards, you can’t get back, can you? Gee, what a shame. I let you play me.  I was trying to be optimistic, but my skepticism has paid off. These days, if you do business—especially a big-ticket item like jewelry, you’d be on either Etsy, Facebook,or Linked it. There is no way you just approach rich people without some sort of network or introduction. I found a Dennis Brown—and either it’s not you—or you are not the guy in the photos you’ve sent. Really, What’s your first language?  Nasema Kiswahili kidogo sana, rafiki.  You all pick whitebread anglo names.  All of you have run into a bit of bad luck even though you told me you are financially secure. 

DB: It’s fairly understandable if you don’t trust me but saying all these hurtful words to me just because I asked for your help doesn’t seem right. What makes you think I’m here for games, I wish you knew how hard it was for me to ask for your help, I had to discuss it with my friend before going ahead to ask you because I know we just started something new and this isn’t the best thing to do at this point. You helping me out doesn’t make you an idiot neither do it mean I’m not credible just because I can’t come up with the money I need as early as possible, life sometimes hit us with things we don’t have control over, but it’s up to us as humans to stay strong and deal with it, if possible helping each other deal with it. I have been having quite some tough times here so it’s fairly understandable if I’m at this point now. I just need you to help me with the insurance and duties and I promise to pay you back as soon as I get back home. I don’t mind doubling the amount if that’s going to make you happy. I really need this from you dear. Sorry if I didn’t tell you about it which I feel I did because you already know about my missing phone, no need to stress over it now. I’m honestly not happy with asking you for money but I don’t have a choice, I just hope you could understand me. I’m going to come back even without my cards because my friend promised to get me on a plane when it’s time to leave, I will pay him back when I get to the States. Talking about you wanting me to prove myself, what exactly do you want me to do? My first language is German and you know that. Oh Lord, what makes you think I’m not who I say I am? I’m honestly hurt having such a conversation with you. Just because I asked your help doesn’t mean you should call me names indirectly yes it’s not the best thing to do to ask for a woman’s help but here I am now doing this because of the situation I found myself in. This is life, you don’t know what will come at you tomorrow

RM: Honey—if you ever had a credit card, you’d know you just call their international number & they tell you where to pick up a card.  You own 2 houses, remember?  I have 3 credit cards.  I have a Paypal account. If you were actually doing any business, you’d have some sort of account like Paypal or something with your local bank to also get money wired.  You have no idea how to run a scam.  You really need to find a woman who is less educated/sophisticated/who doesn’t know how the finance industry works.  I  wanted to know about your business because I understand business. No way can you have been carrying that much cash to buy or sell gems, and only lost a phone & credit cards—& don’t have them back by now. No way in the modern world, Maybe Africa or Tajikistan. You are either dishonest, stupid or both. If I’m wrong, you can set me right when you return home.  & yeah, there IS a reason to call you out.  Men are always taking advantage of women. We so want to trust you.  I made an emotional investment in you—even though nothing added up.  & Frankly, I don’t want to be having sex with a man who doesn’t know how to manage when tragedy strikes. If there indeed was any tragedy.  I don’t believe anything you’ve told me now. Gems.   I know a lot of Africans. I’ve heard ever scam there is.  Google me.  Ho right ahead. I told you I write erotica.  But this will be good for a laugh.

DB: I tried getting a new card but I don’t have a phone to make the calls neither do I have the details they will need to get me a new card because I have all my details on the phone. I wouldn’t be here asking for your help if I haven’t done all of that. You should understand what I’m going through dear. Hello no, don’t ever call this a scam dear, you have no idea what I’m going through at this point. I’m very serious about this and I really need this help from you babe. I promise to pay back twice the amount you help me with the first thing when I get back home. You talking about me losing my phone and cards and don’t have the back by now but you have forgotten covid was at its peak some weeks back and everything changed. I had to save the little money I had left on me because I had to purchase some stuff, this is about stating my priorities right. I can’t leave here without these stones babe, I really need them. You don’t have the right to call me names because I am seeking for your help, you should respect me at least. Me asking for your help doesn’t mean you should insult me.

RM: You’re staying with a friend—& everyone who travels knows to give a list of accounts to someone—like your ‘friend’. The only people who do business like you all do are living in the ‘third World’. No American man would EVER  call a woman he doesn’t know ‘dear’.   You guys really don’t know how to scam.  Just before I started fooling around with you, another scammer started with me. Another mining engineer, now a consultant. I asked him to send a selfie.   He chose to live in Long Grove. I have no idea whose phone he stole, but he sends me a photo of him and a daughter, & then tells me the daughter wants to text me…& she calls me—texting—Ma’am. American kids would never call an adult Ma’am–& no Ameican father would ever have his kids even talk to you until he felt serious. So, you’ll know for the next old lady. Do you remember how old you said you were on PoF?  I do.  You get to be a certain age, and if you are trustworthy, you have trustworthy friends. Again, Google me. My blog, again:   Really, what is your real name? I went to the bother of using hang out.  I needed a muse. I really do write erotica.  You really blew it.

DB: Oh really, what do you mean by no American man would ever call a woman he doesn’t know Dear, but then an American woman would call a man she doesn’t know Honey? That doesn’t make enough sense because you called me Honey and that’s why I replied by calling you Dear. Hello, could you please stop calling me a scammer, that really sucks. We got to respect each other you know. It’s cool if my speech pattern isn’t American because I’m used to the German way which you should understand. I’m not interested in who you’re talking to and what’s happening with him, I just want to focus on us and then see how far we can go. Are you asking if I know my age, for real? Is this some kind of joke. How do you expect me to contact my friends when I’m without a phone, do you really understand the situation I’m in. This chitchat isn’t helping, kindly help me in the little way you can and I promise I won’t let you down. Take my words, I promise I’m not going to disappoint you. I really need this help, please. If you want me to beg for it I’m ready to do that.

RM: I was being sarcastic calling you honey, & I know Geman speech patterns too.   I was an anthropology major. I listen to a lot of foreign accents, and even my roommate’s written English is better.  When you get back to town & we can meet face to face, possibly—but not probably.   You just don’t get it, Your ‘friend’ must have people to help or you are both losers.   You are not getting a dime from me. I don’t give money to men.  We’ve gone as far as we can.

DB: t’s cool you know both language patterns, maybe you should study then well. Listening to a lot of foreign accents isn’t the same as reading them, know the difference. Would love to meet face to face when I’m finally home. I don’t know the perception you have about me but I’m eager to prove you wrong. You will know who I really am when we finally meet. You have made me feel very bad tonight and I’m honestly hurt. My friend did contact some friends but they are not in a good position to help, everyone using Covid-19 as an excuse and some have their money locked up somewhere, so I thought it wise to share it with you to know if you can help but it’s fine if you’re also not in a good position to help.

RM: LOL. Nice try.  You aren’t as smart as you think you are.

DB: What makes you think I’m trying to play smart on you? What’s wrong with me sharing my problem with you?

RM: Dennis—if that is your name—you could not have spent any time in America—or at least not with white folks.  You see, to have traveled. If you travel, you’d know you have to let a credit card company know before you travel that you will be in another country. I  know someone who tried to use a credit card in another country & it was declined based on it being from—the USA. I also know people who’ve lost credit cards. You can go online,  call the credit card company, cancel the lost card & if you are in Europe or Asia, can pick up a new card at a bank the next day.  I also know that if you are in business—any business…but particularly a niche business like gems or jewelry, you MUST have relationships with people who’d give you credit if your reputation is good.  You led me to believe that you are financially secure.  The only way you could have this problem & turn to a STRANGE WOMAN is if you are a scammer.  There is no other logical reason.  Might work in Africa, and I bet if you went after a less educated, more stupid woman, this would work. As far as I know, you can be stringing 20 women along.  & I could have a bunch of men—at this time , you don’t take up that much time, but you keep outing yourself as someone who hasn’t thought the scam through.. If you had read my Plenty of Fish profile, or my blog, you’d know I know all this.  The profession you chose, the story of being from another state,  being in business but not telling me how people find you.  None of it makes sense. I have had other encounters online with other scammers… the same story…had a career in engineering (mining or marine are popular), moved to my area for work, & ‘just happen to be out of the country right now, but will be returning’.  Getting familiar and trying to use sweet talk right away and not answering questions.  & you’re not giving up or admitting it.  You’ll get no sympathy from me.

DB: What questions are there to answer? I answered every question you asked last night. Even though I’m not happy with your choices of words and how you’re addressing this issue, I’m still being calm about it because I truly need your help badly. Never think I never think I’m here for your money or some kind of games, I wouldn’t ask for your help if I didn’t need it. Don’t think I’m not financially secure because I’m asking for your help, if you truly are someone who is into business, you will understand what’s happening I never told you didn’t have money, I only told you I misplaced my cards and phone so there is no way I can even get money out of my accounts until I’m back home, I didn’t inform my banks I was moving out of the country so I don’t blame them if they can’t help me at this point I wish you could trust me just for once, I’m not as bad as you may think. Paying you back your money the first thing I will do as soon as I get home. I promise to pay you twice the amount you help me without stress if that’s going to make you happy. You should see how badly I need this help from you. I give you my wordI’m not able to reach some good friends because of my missing phone, I have a very good reputation for that matter. The friend I’m staying with wouldn’t have hosted me in his house if I was that bad. I just hope you see the truth in this and help me out, I promise not to disappoint you,

RM: Again—you ignore what I told you. Anyone who travels can get a new card in 24 hours. there’s nothing to believe. You are unbelievable. & that you continue to deny….I could NEVER trust you.   You don’t tell me how your clients find you. You ignored that question. Ignored how you can’t get a new credit card. Stupid, Just plain stupid, & now, a waste of time. Go find another victim.

DB: I told you I tried getting a new card but it didn’t work, I’m without a phone now, how do I reach the company and even provide the necessary details when I have all the information on the missing phone (edit:  but he had the phone to take a selfie returning from the hospital). Why do you always come up with negative responses, can you be positive for once. Why would I come on here just to waste our time, I’m not here for games and that’s what you don’t understand. You are speaking based on your past experiences which I honestly understand but it doesn’t mean we are all the same. I’m a man of my words and I wouldn’t come on here to lie to you for nothing. About how my clients find me, I told you I was first in a joint business and my partner was handling the internet aspect of it and I even went on to tell you I will need your help with that when I’m back home, forgotten?I understand how angry you are at this point which I’m sorry for but you should also understand that it’s not my fault this is happening. COVID has affected my trip a lot, on top of it all, I even had a surgery which made me spend some days at the hospital I just hope you will understand my pain and help me out. I don’t mind even if you’re going to give me terms and conditions attached to your help. I really need this help badly, I guess you went to bed. I hope you understand my situation and help me out. Have a great night.

RM: Your friend doesn’t have a phone? So how did you take the photo you sent after you got out of the hospital? You have extraordinarily bad luck to be with such low life people…& to think all old American women are stupid.  Do you still have a passport? Do none of your friends have phones with cameras?    I need you to take a photo of your passport &  email it to me.  If you don’t have your passport, how do you plan to get back to the USA? —& if I send you money—–with no  I.D.—how do you plan to collect it?  How much do you want, and where do I send it? As for terms….LOL   again, how do you plan to get back to the USA (if you even were here)…& have you ever been to court?   btw:  Do you know these people? 

DB: I applied for a new passport, it will be ready on Wednesday so I will send you a picture when I get it. About how you are going to send me money, I will provide you an account to send it to in the States, he will get it sent to me easily or to the organization, I’m purchasing the stuff from, he is a trust friend. I believe you will be more comfortable with that. I need an amount of $7600. I don’t mind paying back twice the amount when I get home, if that’s going to make you happy. Trusted*No I have never been to court and I don’t think I will ever be there. What did you go to do there? What was the problem>?

RM:Who is ‘he’ & if he has an account, why can’t ‘he’ send you the money?    No way would I send you more than $20. You are not a very good liar.  I have been to court for several reasons. I told you, in fact, that I was an advocate.  Dennis—or whatever your name is—you should have done all this immediately when you lost your wallet (as tho this is true).   Do you have any idea how many men do this? Cultivate women, say they live wherever but are traveling overseas & lost all their documents?  At least half the men who post on dating sites do this.  I am blogging about this next week.  There is no way you are paying anyone back.  LOL.  I gave you the benefit of the doubt…& you were raised Catholic?  You WILL rot in hell…..Your luck just changed.  A friend owed me money, his horse came in. I can send you $1000.

DB: Thank you, I really appreciate it but can you please add some little amount to it. I will be very glad if you could increase it a bit for me I wasn’t happy with your first message, the hurtful words in there are just too much, could you please give me some little respect.No.  I don’t care. It’s fine. So can you please increase the money a bit for me, I really appreciate your effort to help but I will be glad if you add some more pleaseHello, are you there?

RM: No. Tell me who is getting it & how to get it to them—& how is it YOU don’t realize ‘he’ will have to send it, so why not give me a way to send it internationally directly?  & how is it, if ‘he’ has a bank, he can’t get access to your bank?  My REAL QUESTION is that you’ve left a son. If you die, how does your son get YOUR ESTATE??

It gets better…..

DB: If you are talking about sending it internationally directly, then you will have to send it to my bitcoin address. That is the only way I can get it without having to go through any stress, and I will get it shortly after you send it, it would take days to get here, it’s easier and faster. You just have to visit a bitcoin ATM around and then send it to my bitcoin address which I will send to you. It’s way easier and faster. If not, I will have to get an account from my friend to you.I think we should go with the bitcoin so that I will be able to receive it easier and faster without having to go through any stress. Do you have a bitcoin ATM around? It wouldn’t take you more than 10mins to send it at the ATMI guess you are busy with work, let me know when you are less busy

RM: To do bitcoin—even via ATM, I’d have to have an account. Not doing it, I have a better idea:  email your son, & tell y him where your bank statements are, and tell him to send your account # & the routing number—to YOU.  Then email your bank, tell them you lost your credit card & can’t seem to get it renewed. They’ll ask all sorts of personal questions that only YOU can answer—including your password. Then you can get your money—but be sure ahead of time you have a place to have it sent.  Or, I can come  to your home—which means you have to send me your exact address, and bring your son cash after I go to the bank.

DB: You don’t necessarily have to have an account before to send it, you can just use your card in any bitcoin ATM, it works easily. All I have to do here is to send you my bitcoin address and it’s done. You don’t need to answer any questions, I used to have customers who make payments that way. You can try it become of the bitcoins ATM’s accept cash deposit but just take your card along to be on a saver side .

RM: Card?  Like a credit card?  I never use ATMs. Sorry–-why at’s wrong with asking your son to access your bank account &  sending you that info so you can contact the bank directly? BTW—you didn’t answer the question I asked:  if something happens to YOU, your son will be destitute if he doesn’t know where all the accounts are.

DB: I sent my bank a mail sometime and they asked me to call the bank but I didn’t have a cellphone to do that. You would have to use your debit card since you are actually sending money. I didn’t answer the question about my son because he doesn’t know I lost my cards, he only knows of my missing phone. I don’t want him to be extremely worried about my situation.
If I will have to tell him to get my bank details, I will have a lot of explanations to do. Also he’s been at the hospital since yesterday, he isn’t well. It will be best you try the Bitcoin ATM for now so we see how it goes.

RM: I don’t have a debit card.    I have a checkbook.  You will have to tell your son because even when my friend gives me a check, the bank will hold it for a week. Then I would have to get you an account to send it to.

DB: If you have a credit card you can use it at the ATM too. The kid has been admitted at the hospital, how do you expect me to stress him with this now.

RM: Well, what a coincidence. A perfect storm of things falling apart. What is he in the hospital for—& who has power of attorney?  Why in hell would you use a pseudo currency as unstable as bitcoin—& why don’t you have your ‘friend’ get the bank info for you?  Dennis—I m  smarter than you give me credit for. You keep making excuses.  I DON’T KNOW YOU. If you cared about your son, you’d do what YOU had to do to get back ASAP instead of attempting to dick me around. With all the jewelry you told me you sold—funny that you don’t have enough $$$$ to pay for your way back. It doesn’t make sense.

DB: Oh Lord, what’s all this? I’m in a deep mess now and all you can to is come at me with such bad energy? You keep talking about smartness when it has got nothing to do with this, you’re just complicating stuff which isn’t really necessary now, if you are willing to help me kindly do so. This back and forth isn’t helping, business is down and my son is at the hospital, please this isn’t the kind of energy I need now. The fact that my accounts have been frozen doesn’t mean I don’t have $$ to pay for my way back. You should learn to listen 

RM:Have your ‘friend’ pay for your ticket back. Take care of your son. Then go back to London or wherever you are with enough cash, a new phone, a list of your accounts & contact info on paper separate from your stuff, and return to get the gems.  End of problem. Not complicated at all. Send a message. You have tried to outsmart me, and it can’t be done.  I’ve been through this several times, having a man cultivate me. In my blog, I call you  ‘virtual boyfriends’:   all the aggravation and none of the benefits. Since I wasn’t going to get laid, it was the only way I could dick you around myself.  Even if all that you have told me could possibly be true, I don’t want a boyfriend with such bad luck.

DB:  Hello, will you be mindful of your words at least for a second and listen, having this on your blog doesn’t make any sense, you are grown enough to wise up. Why would you want to make fun of someone’s problem? It’s okay if you’re not willing to help but blogging about it is just childish, you are bigger than that, grow up. And yeah, you are full of filthy words which is very bad, you can’t just be speaking rubbish to people because they are in need. Remember nobody knows tomorrow, it might be your turn
RM:”Dennis”  it won’t be my turn if I act with integrity.  You knew I was a writer. You knew what my questions were. You have 1 last chance:  what was your partner’s name?  If he was taking care of your internet sales, HE will have an internet presence, even if he’s dead.  Don’t tell me what is childish. Leaving the country without leaving someone in the USA with a list of your accounts, where your will is, and a way for them to contact you (seeing that you have a son), is irresponsible.  & like I’ve said, I’ve been through this.  I got another guy who claimed he had Covid & is now in Germany.  I wonder how many weeks will go by before he tells me he is in crisis…
DB: Vasile M. is now the business owner. Pawn in Private, located at Arlington Heights. I hate to talk about him, we had a little misunderstanding and that caused the separation. I don’t know how you’re going to find him on the internet. I honestly don’t know why you are acting this way, don’t think I’m here for games
RM: I found him easily & will try calling him today.  Why don’t you tell me what your ‘little’ misunderstanding was that caused you to separate—as he seems to have an excellent reputation.  Now,  if my kid was in the hospital—I’d drop everything, return, take care of all this & THEN go back to wherever it is you are, because there will always be gems.  You don’t know why I’m acting this way?  How would YOU feel if you were me?  You contacted me & I said I am briefly not where I live, will be back in a few weeks, then go silent, then claim I lost my phone and all i.d. including my credit cards,  please send  me thousands of dollars. How does that sound?  You’ve never heard my voice, nor met me.  Would YOU  send a stranger anything?
BTW—he has a website. Duh!
He’s out of town & won’t return until next week. I called..
DB:   understand your point, it’s quite weird sending money to a stranger. If I was in your shoes, I would have acted the way you are acting now but will at least give the person the benefit of the doubt, depending on how bad he/she needs the money.
Life sometimes hit us with unexpected stuff, nobody knows tomorrow
RM:  Not to the tune of over $20. Again, accept the loss, have your friend send you home, take care of your son, straighten out your accounts  & make a list so if anything becomes lost or stolen, you can access this overseas, then return & do business.  You don’t realize, I don’t think, that after you got out of the hospital, you sent me a ‘selfie’ (scroll back up) with somebody’s phone—so you DO have access to a phone.  I have an account with a bank that, every time I call, they ask me at least 4 screening questions..  So until Vasile M.  straightens me out, I’m not doing anything.
DB: Alright
I’m not happy with you involving him in this, sharing my problems with him now isn’t something I’m happy about at all.
RM:  So why not just return & chalk it all up to bad luck since you have plenty of assets?
DB:I wouldn’t have given you his details if I knew you would discuss my problem with him. You should know your limit please If you are ready to help me, please do so, if you won’t help me, don’t go round telling people my problem
RM:  I’m not happy about a man whom I have never talked to, cultivating me to take advantage of me, as tho i was a fool.  No, I am not sending money to a man I have never even talked to.  What is your address in North brook?  Do you know these people: XXXX N Long Valley Rd, Northbrook:  Dennis Brown (49),  Charles (90), Ruth(88) & Marc (59) Ricard; Linnea Brown.?  This turns up when you Google homeowners in a location by name, You do not.
DB: No one is taking advantage of you neither are you a fool. You are just holding on to your past experiences which is making you think this way. Listen, I’m not here for game, is you are going to help me, just do, if you ain’t going to help me, it’s fine. don’t go round spreading my problem to people I’m not in good terms with. This really got me pissed,
I don’t give a fuck about who is on the internet and who is not, If you are helping me, let me know, if you ain’t helping me, let me know
RM:  I have disagreements with a lot of people, but if it’s merely a judgment call and the people act with integrity, & somebody asks, I will say so.  I really don’t care what you think at this point.  You still haven’t answered the questions I asked a few minutes ago. You are not credible.  You don’t remember sending me a selfie after you got out of the hospital?  I have it on hang out.
Since you don’t have access to a phone, how did you take this?  There is only 1 plausible explanation….
DB: The fact that I don’t have a personal phone doesn’t mean the people around me don’t use cellphone. I took my friends daughters phone to take the picture for you, you can see her seated at the back, you got to think deep sometimes
I’m not happy with this back and forth shit, this whole thing is even stressing me the more. Enough of all this. Are you helping me or not?
RM:  Apparently not!
& I was so looking forward to giving you a blow job. Pity……
Blossom Dearie will sing us out:…..
Still trying to find out who the guy in the photo really is…._


No More Nigerian Princes, but Scam Still Exists

June 18, 2020

I was a pretty girl 30 years ago….

Several months ago, I had some large trees trimmed in my yard.  I asked the arborist to leave the chip in the yard because the space under the tree was muddy, and I have dogs. He told me that he could give me even more, so I  said, “Sure!” &  he dumped, I am not exaggerating,  a ton of wood chips.    After spreading what I wanted, I still had a huge mound of  woodchips, so I posted them for FREE on Craigslist. A few people came and got what they wanted, but I got at least  3 responses from people telling me they wanted to BUY MY (FREE)  WOODCHIPS.   Huh?  What is so confusing about FREE?

Apparently, it IS confusing if English isn’t your first language, and you are just starting to scam people over the internet. I got several emails from people who wanted to BUY my (FREE) woodchips, and they wanted to send me a code to respond to.  Of course, I didn’t. But I did email them back & ask them what they found confusing about free.

What about the code?  Not sure. Does it give them access to your phone records?  No matter.

Many people who offered things for sale or free on Craigslist or other websites have gotten responses like this. What my sister did was go to her bank, talk to a banker, and open a separate account. She then told the scammer how to access the account & was done with them.  When they made the transfer to an overseas account, apparently law enforcement was waiting for them.

A very popular scam is to offer puppies on Craigslist.  Usually, they are 12 weeks old. They are the most sought after breeds of dogs:  Yorkshire terriers, Siberian Huskies, English, and French Bulldogs, Maltese, Golden retrievers of course, and recently, Corgis, Bichon Frise,   Often Shih Tzu…but other popular breeds as well. Cat breeds are usually Bengals, Sphinx, Siamese,  and Maine Coon.  If you respond, you will be told that either a grandson or grandmother died of cancer or in a car accident, and left a beautiful litter of  (purebred, of course) puppies with AKC papers, and, unfortunately, the people who have these puppies can’t keep them because the ‘landlord won’t allow’ them.  There seems to be a template.  They just want to be sure you will take care of these precious babies, and all they want is money for shipping.  Here’s what I really don’t understand:  they post local maps to whatever city they are posting in (sometimes, they get careless and post a  map area for another city) and they ask for your email address. I have responded, seeing the maps, and tell whoever posted that I can be there in 1/2 hour—to send a street address. Sometimes they do—& it usually turns out to be in an industrial park or a post office.  They haven’t really thought the scam through, but they don’t have to when people are so willing to send money.

Craigslist rules are pretty clear about prohibiting pet sales and breeding. The pet section is for selling supplies and ‘rehoming’ older pets. The reason for the prohibition is so the older pets don’t have to compete with cuter, more desirable younger pets.  The people using  Craigslist to find a pet don’t read the rules….clearly, they don’t read the actual posts. Whenever I re[post  something  ridiculous (like the  posting for a white puppy when the photo in the ad is a black puppy), it never fails—-some idiot responds with “How much?”  All the scammers need is one idiot to send them money, and, since posting is free, Ka-ching!  Who would send money to strangers?  My friends, these people have children, and they vote.

Some of the dating sites, like “Plenty of Fish”, allow you to post for free, and there are so many scammers.  Sometimes, the photos are just too good, but ever hoping, I’ll respond and ask where the guy lives, and if he’s read my profile.  The response is always general, so I know they are not paying attention.  Usually, these guys say they are engineers (mining or marine are very popular specialties), they are widowed, have usually an adult daughter, but sometimes just a son, living with a relative overseas.   Most claim to be Catholic—but I always ask how Catholic they are.  It doesn’t matter. As you will learn, none have a moral compass.  The scammer guy has moved to this area.  I know right away when they get evasive about actually meeting, They always want to get to know you better by messaging, or texting.  & why can’t we video chat? Their phone doesn’t work, or the camera on their computer doesn’t work.    For me,  no joke…of the last three guys I interacted with more than once, 1  came down with Covid19 (what are the odds) & disappeared for over  8 weeks. I thought he was either dead or hadn’t figured out the next step, and two were ‘out of the country on business but would return soon.

I want to tell you about  2 of them. Loyd Zante is a widower, and last year, when he messaged me, he was selling used furniture and lived about  30 or so miles from me.  I was interested in meeting him, but he stopped responding, so I  figured he found someone. This year, he was planning a trip to Mexico, to manufacture furniture to sell overseas.  Since he is a legal resident of the USA—but not a citizen, ‘due to Covid19’ & our borders being closed, he says he can’t return and doesn’t know when he will.  He has no internet presence at all. I asked him how he managed to sell, and he told me he had representatives who marketed his furniture for him.  Interesting.  I asked him to send me photos of him and his dogs. He did. Unless he stole a phone with all these photos, he does check out, but as of this writing, he’s a ghost.

Dennis Brown, claims to live in Northbrook, Illinois, in a subdivision known as ‘White Plaines’.  He moved up here from Texas, where he claims to also own a home. He said he had a son.  He had been a mining engineer, but he took a course in jewelry making over a decade ago and has been making and selling jewelry ever since.  He said he had a partner who took care of the business.  So I Googled ‘Dennis Brown’. There is a black ‘Dennis Brown’ who makes jewelry, and he sells on Etsy, but the ‘Dennis Brown’ who I have been corresponding with has absolutely no internet presence—-at all.  The people who come up when I Googled the name are clearly not him. When I told him that, he responded with surprise, “You can find anyone over the internet?”  Yeah, if they are real, and engaged in business…you can.  The  ‘Dennis Brown” in Northbrook lives with several other people who have a different last name. I didn’t tell him this.  Poor Dennis Brown’ has had extraordinarily bad luck.  He was in London to sell jewelry and lost his cellphone and credit cards, and then, so he says, he had an attack of appendicitis.  So he was in the hospital for a few days, but when I said, “You’ve disappeared’, he started responding every day. I asked him when he planned to return to the USA, and he said he wasn’t sure because of travel restrictions, and he was on drugs, and he had some business to attend to, but we’re messaging back and forth, and he asked me to go on ‘Hang Our’ so we could video chat. It was a hassle, but I did, and then we couldn’t video chat because he was using a friend’s computer and the camera was broken. Right.  It gets better…LOL…  He’s asking me what kind of music and what kind of movies I like, and what I do for a living (he had told me he read my profile), and now he’s addressing me as ‘dear’—which no American man would do with a stranger.  His nouns agree with his verbs, but he’s not answering my questions.  I asked him if he had a retirement plan, and he assured me he was well off.  But a few days ago, he messaged me and said things weren’t going so well and he needed help.  He wanted to buy some gems, but he didn’t have enough money to pay the import tax.  Could I help him?  He’d gladly pay me back on any terms I wanted.

Really.  I told him flat out: NO.  I told him if he was so well off, he definitely had credit cards, and if he lost them, all he had to do was call the international number and they’d replace the cards in 24 hours.  In fact, unless he actually called the credit card companies and said he was traveling, most likely he wasn’t able to even use the cards outside of the USA.  I know all this because I DO travel overseas, and I have friends who do. My own roommate had to call his credit card company in Japan because he forgot before leaving the country. So, ‘Dennis Brown” tells me he was unable to do this—but can’t tell me why he’s unable.  I responded to him with this:  “So, say I send you money. Where do I send it?  Without an I.D. how will you be able to claim it?  Do you still have your passport?  I want you to send me a screenshot.  Too bad your friends are so low life they can’t help you.”

I have no intention of sending him money, or anything, but I just might dick him around for a while! Next week I’ll post an edited version of our conversations over the internet.

What is ‘Essential’?

May 29, 2020

My book, Polyandress, is now on Itunes and Barnes & Noble: //

In the last few weeks under Covid19, dog groomers have become —essential. Please—-I am aghast.  If people would just brush their dogs, we could be sane.  It’s fine. I enjoy working, but I do not enjoy pandering. I believe the reason they made us essential is…. is that we see so few clients every day, and they don’t hang around. But since there was no dog grooming for 8 or so weeks and a lot of our regulars didn’t’need’ grooming until we were closed, we’re seeing a lot of hairy dogs.  People who live with those dogs–rather than take a brush to their BEST FRIEND…beg to have the dog shaved. Lots of shave downs. Some people do take care of their dogs, but many don’t. 

I am not a naturally optimistic person. I would be described as cynical. My boss asked me if I considered myself an extrovert or introvert, and I said, “Introvert, definitely.” I  bring that up because now I am overwhelmed by my fellow Americans, and I  more often think, “What the fuck are these people thinking? Were they thinking?  they have student loans!  Why did they get a dog that needs a haircut so it will smell halfway decent?” (Keep in mind, I have whippets—naturally clean dogs.

I  went to ‘work’ this morning (It’s Thursday 5/28) but I walked out because the person I was ‘working’ for had so little integrity, I could not take it. She was charging extra for a dog that should not have been charged— for matting. Yes, it’s her business & her prices are her prices, but I don’t think she will be in business in a year. Worse, she hired a woman who wants to learn to groom dogs (Laura is 52, and she was a pharmacy tech!), but she had her bathing a dog that could have been bathed more quickly, humanely, efficiently—and she won’t do it. She’d rather pay this woman more—to take more time, which will stress out the dog for no good reason because that’s the way she does things. To me, that is inhumane.

Life is too short to be a party to people who don’t act in an ethical manner towards others. You see, this has nothing to do with God, or believing in God. It’s a matter of common sense right and wrong. If we’re no longer going to be fair, and accountable that means nobody can be trusted.

I started addressing this to a man I met online. From what I know of him, I like—I just don’t know that much. I still don’t have enough information.  I was telling a friend, I am attracted particularly to entrepreneurs, because they take risks, and are responsible for their decisions…more so than someone working for someone else. My father was a businessman, and having been in business myself, I know the difficulties and the rewards. It helps me to respect these guys. Isn’t getting respect part of love?

I have to be clear. I am not sure what love really means. I thought I was in love a few times, and the love was not returned. Perhaps my expectations were too high, but I don’t think so. We have an expression: ‘Trust but verify.’ Too many men have told me too much stuff that turned out to just not be true. The fact of the matter is that they were all Christians, and their worldview was that they would ultimately admit they were imperfect, ask Jesus for forgiveness, and how they messed with my heart wouldn’t matter. So, all the words mean nothing until I understand how a man is with me.

You can’t buy me. Gifts that are just gifts are just stuff. The gift I want is a man to be as vulnerable as I am. If I am to let you into my body, I am taking a huge physical and emotional risk. Men don’t consider that. I am saying it is important.

For me to love, I need a safe physical bond. I’ve never had that with a man ever. I don’t need another platonic male friend unless he is extremely funny & wants to take me to dinner. I’m serious. It does me no good to try to cultivate a relationship with a man who talks a good game and then is either afraid of me or finds giving me pleasure disgusting. We all have our limits. There’s a lot of stuff associated with sex that I don’t enjoy. I don’t want to be hurt, slapped, tied up, penetrated anally, or in 1 position all the time. I don’t want to be a receptacle. You would think I would not have to say that…but I know I have to. I know I intimidate men, but I know what I want, and I am not afraid to ask for it.

I don’t know how to make this idea of good sex more plain and direct. I discourage a lot of men who don’t want a woman asking for anything, and that’s just fine. My life is good. Good sex would make it better.

In any case, I am busier than I wanted to be. And….suddenly, young men on the dating sites are lying about their ages and coming out of the woodwork. I admit, I added a profile shot with cleavage (when you got it, flaunt it), but I am bemused that so many young—and I mean really young, men…. are contacting me. This is excellent fodder for an erotic romance writer, so I have to take advantage, but I still have to sort through who is real, who has something to offer, etc.

 I am not just talking when I say I write erotica. I have to really get it out there to men approaching me so as not to waste time. My ‘interaction’ with ‘the Muse’ turned out to be less than satisfactory. I could possibly fix this, but it takes two, and I think he was so disappointed in himself and the fact that he has no female friends, well, it is what it is.  He doesn’t understand you have to give to get—and can’t slide by on your good looks forever. A shame, but you can only do so much.

I guess it’s my age range, but the guys my age who respond are all foreign. Legal residents, not citizens, They all have the same story. All widowers, looking for ‘love’. What loves seems to be in their amorphous views are a commitment, trust, and not asking questions. Clearly, most are very sexually conservative, and when I address that I don’t need a man to take care of me, that you’ll get love when you provide great sex and reliability, they go away. It’s still ok for a man to have this attitude, but not so much for a woman. I was describing how this is to several friends, and said, “I am scaring them away.” The response was, of course, “You don’t want them then.” No, I don’t.



The Fancy is Killing the Fancy (I Learned This Promoting Polyandress)

April 29, 2020

My Saluki as a young dog. Sold as a pet, he finished his AKC championship in fewer than 10 shows. His breeder trained him—& didn’t charge for the training!

I’ve been publicizing my book, Polyandress an erotic romance that a dog fancier( a groomer and trainer), has with a boy who seduced her, the child of a man her grandfather bought as a slave in the 1950s:

Slavery occurs in much of the world, still, and the scenario I wrote is very plausible. In many places, slaves were allowed to buy their freedom which was the debt the slaveowner had incurred to get a servant. As I wrote the store, the character’s father was very clever and learned the business his owner was in. After learning the business, he became relatively successful.  The son became a rock star. It’s an erotic genre.

In any case, I wrote this character young because when I was in my 20’s, in the 1970s, it happened to me several times: a very young teenage boy tried to seduce me. More, I had the experience, as a teenager, learning about sex from a boy not much older than I, and he became my husband.

I had also spent some time in this part of the world and I had an academic research background. That’s why the story starts in Africa. There was no statutory rape in this part of Africa. I heard it from many African men, “If she looks old enough, she is old enough.” Nobody would ever in a million years question if a boy was old enough. He’d know if he was old enough.

Why did I make this part of the story? I was addressing aspects of integrity. I had my female character address it to the teenager:  that he had to keep perspective. To make this part of the story, I had to make him a rock star who would have the money and the means to travel. But the non-sexual part of the story is that the female character is hired to help a guy train his dogs. He thinks he wants to breed them and she tells him what people who really love dogs do. They do a lot.

I didn’t know anything about writing or self-publishing or finding an editor, but I got a story that holds together.

How do I get people to read the story? I have to market it myself, and I selected dog groomers, Returned Peace Corps Volunteers, and dog people in general.

I’d contact the various kennel clubs, the specialty clubs first, and ask people to buy and read my book. & yes, it’s an erotic romance. Is it smut? Nobody gets hurt. There’s no violence. There’s a discussion about how people learn about sex and sexual expression, and what keeps people from making mistakes, particularly regarding relationships.

Prototype cover without the dogs & title.

I keep defending this, but as much as the ‘genre’ is the issue on ‘the fanciers’ side, the AKC has not assisted the club in marketing themselves at all.

How did I find the clubs? By going to the AKC web database, which is not the most intuitive thing to use. If I didn’t have a background in dogs & know the clubs, and who’s in charge of what, I couldn’t do this.

The biggest problem is that the local clubs don’t generally keep up their links with the parent club: “(The Breed) Club of America” or American (breed)Club.  Sometimes, the pages no longer exist and the domain name is for sale…to any puppy miller. Or it a has been bought (at leas the URL—call your club whatever you want, but do you want the link you forgot about to go to an architectural firm in Taiwan—or a commercial breeder?).   Other problems include; there is no way to contact the club through the website. You actually have to Google the Club by name & they MAY have a Facebook page, but they may or may not have a ‘send message’ or ’email’ link. It depends on who in the club is savvy.

Now I can sort of maneuver the database because I have a good idea of the names of the clubs—but what if you don’t know the actual name of the club?  Say, you Google ‘Afghan Hounds Chicago.’ If a breeder has those Google adwords, the Afghan Hound Club of Greater Chicago won’t show up—or worse, the club website will show up, but none of the links work, so you can’t contact the club. So you go to any breeder, but what if you just want to hang with Afghan Hound lovers? Sorry…you are S. O. L.

Now, what if you don’t know the name of a breed. Say, you only can name a few breeds: German Shepherd, Golden Retriever, Labrador Retriever, Poodle, Dachshund, Husky, Cocker Spaniel, English Bulldog, Shih Tzu, Boston Terrier, Chihuahua, Pug. You aren’t going to go looking for a Keeshond or Norwegian Elkhound. Funny(not) thing: People know what Pomskies are. Although they are a cross between a Pomeranian and a Siberian Husky, more people know what they are than …Keeshond or Norwegian Elkhounds. So—those club should buy the Googe adwords for ‘POMSKY’…like the Irish Water Spaniel, the Spanish Water Do0g, Portuguese Water Dog, and Barbet fancies should bu all the Google Adwords for all the Doodles: labra-, Golden-, Berna-, Sheepa–, Newfa….doodles. Chances are the people looking for Doodles want the PREDICTABILITY of a purebred dog, but have never heard of those breeds.

There are so many breeds the public doesn’t know.  & yet another problem is…the club doesn’t have a newsletter or even a local listserv. Or worse—a conservative Christian gatekeeper as secretary, who has accused me of peddling smut.

Yeah, I guess it is. Dang me, describing acts of sexual pleasure than don’t involve intercourse or making babies. God forbid a teenager should get a hold of Polyandress and find out you can have great sex without risking health, life, and pregnancy. And— you might learn what ethical breeders do when they love purebred dogs and want to see the breeds thrive into the future.

Day 20 + Covid19

April 17, 2020

Dali’s muse: Gala

Day 20 + Covid19

Day 20Today is Easter. I’m, hoping all the people who think social isolation is a waste of time & that if God wants them, it is their time—-go to church. Socialize with each other, and your families. Word is that there is a 14 day incubation period. So….. by the end of the month, whoever doubts the level of contagion will be infected, and either be very sick, die, or a carrier.

We have to start testing very soon. We can’t continue this way. Sure, we will probably all still have to be wearing masks for the foreseeable future, but we have to get back to work.

Everyone is feeling stressed and anxious. I decided I was willing to play the odds and go meet my Muse in his house out in corn country. We’ve both been asymptomatic, both been taking precautions, but when it came to actually meeting, me saying, “Ok, I will come to you and get this party started,” he got a pang of conscience and said he didn’t want to risk getting me sick.  I didn’t think he had it in him.  As things look, it will be the end of May before we can actually meet.  I would place a money bet.

This whole situation is a test of integrity, but also ingenuity. Ramadan starts in about 10 days. I have no idea how he addresses reflection to himself, but I am getting a better idea of how he really is. Just from what I can tell, he has Asperger’s. I guess it takes one to know one. He is very rigid in how he conducts his life. I am a creature of habit myself. It’s just that over the years, I’ve learned to pick my battles. so…

Today has never been a holiday for me. My most memorable Easter was almost 30 years ago, camping near Palombe (Malawi) with the VSO, and how they brought 2 cases of beer, meat, white bread, and white potatoes for a camping dinner and none of them had ever cooked over a fire. Then, it started raining at around 5:a.m.

Yesterday, Day 19, I ‘baked’ a little. Since I had mashed potato flakes and the other ingredients, I made mashed potato cookies. Ingredients include shredded coconut, so it’s like a rich macaroon.  Those came out well, but the ‘cheese straws” using filo dough did not come out.  The recipe steps were too many, the ingredients were way too few—  definitely needed more whipped eggs.  So I made dinner tonight and Kunihiro said it was better than last night, “those bread things with too much salt.”

I had no idea what he was talking about because I had made bulgar the day before that (Thursday?  Friday?), but I opened the cookie box forgetting I had put some of these things in the box, which came out more like fried papadum.  Then, I knew what he was talking about.   Are you, too, trying out all those recipes you never got around to?  Interesting how you can then discard them so quickly.

And then there’s my Muse, who is clearly overwhelmed and stressed because of course, his business has been busy as ever, and he’s gotten more customers but doesn’t have the assistance, and I know that neither of us wants a long-distance relationship. Whatever would be the point of that?  This isn’t ‘love’, this is an assignation.  Look it up—you can Google word definitions,.  But that’s what it is.  I am under no illusions, so here’s a story I heard long ago which always reminds me to bargain for what I want:  This woman is at a bar,  and a man comes in. He sees her and is interested.  He goes to her and introduces himself and after a few banal pleasantries, he asks her, “Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?”  She laughs and responds, “Sure!  Let’s go!”  But the guy then responds, “Well, would you sleep with me for $10?”  The woman becomes irate and she responds, “No!  What do you think I am?”  He says to her, “We know what you are, we’re just haggling over the price.”

Yes, I know what I am, I’m just haggling over the price. Tell me, many of you actually know me:  where am I going to find a hot young man at my age?  Someone who doesn’t have a zillion pounds of baggage. A healthy guy who is honest about what he wants.  A guy who understands responsibility.  A guy who can support himself.  A hot guy.

Day 21.  I’ve totally wasted today.  I didn’t get out of bed until almost  8,  and then I made a pot of steel-cut oatmeal that should last at least a few days. I  read the paper, took the dogs out for a decent walk, watched a couple of videos on Rudolph Nureyev, the ballet dancer, and now I really have to get back to marketing my book.  Wasted way too much time on Muhammad’s website looking at some of the videos of him.  Last night we spent an hour talking.  He said he wished we lived closer. That was something I addressed first when he contacted me.  I can tell by talking to him we are living in very separate realities. He said he can’t believe I want to give him a blow job. I won’t disabuse him of that until I actually see him. I just told him I would definitely teach him what I want, and my God I sure will.  He’s told me some of his fantasies, and he’s really not too far out there.  I won’t reveal them here (What I will do is ultimately write about them for pay). But he thinks like a guy, and  I’ll just have to work through that.  This is a guy who doesn’t eat fruits or vegetables.  That’s immature.  If I do only 1 thing for him besides giving him a blow job—-apparently the only thing missing from his life, I hope I can introduce healthy food into his diet. Not planning on changing him, but I hope to scare the living daylights out of him. The reason men over 45 need Viagra is their veins are clogged by a life of red meat-eating.

Day 22  half the day is gone. I am going to do marketing this afternoon.  I  wasted time listening to a free webinar on how to find the man of your dreams via dating, put on by a ‘Life coach”.    Finding love is the luck of the draw.  She made some good points, but anyone with half a brain could figure this out.  The last date I went on, about 2 months ago,  I went on because the guy lived nearby, his politics were progressive, he didn’t drink or smoke…and that was all we had in common.  He was my age and had NOTHING. He didn’t have credit cards because he had apparently abused his credit.  He did auto bodywork, and he lived from hand to mouth.  The reason I continue to pursue the Muse is that he owns a business (not one I would have ever even considered going into—selling tobacco produces), he owns his own house, doesn’t smoke or drink, and he knows what he wants.  Of course, actually meeting is probably weeks off. I know we won’t get together before Ramadan.

Anyways, I  went & did major shopping at Aldi’s this morning, because we were out of a lot of stuff:  olive oil, some frozen food, hummus,  guacamole, raisin bran.

I had a great discussion with my fellow groomer, Lee Chen last night.  Of course, her shop is closed, and she isn’t sure  she will reopen.  But someone saw her shop door open and called to see if she was really open. No, she was just cleaning everything with bleach & wanted t to dissipate it & not breathe it. Ok, to actual work now!

Days 23 & 24….Yesterday I spent several hours contacting dog clubs about my book—- Polyandress, and about their broken links to their parent clubs.  So many dog clubs have websites with no way to click a link to contact them. What’s the point of that?  It was tedious.  I also started editing some short stories that I hope to submit to publications, but they need so much work crafting.  My Muse suggested that we get together tomorrow.  He wants to find out if we really have actual physical chemistry. So do I.  I still can’t believe he wants a woman my age but I have nothing to lose.  Late yesterday my roommate told me he was going in to work. Since  My Muse had agreed to Friday, I  texted,  and in passing said Kunihiro was going to work.  So My Muse texted back that he could come and see me.  Why we can’t have a vocal conversation is beyond me at this point, but  I texted back that I have to be out of the house by 1, and will be busy until at least 8 I(a doctor’s appointment and  2 webinars), but if he arrived by 10 we’d have several hours.  He texted back that he was not driving in the morning. I assumed that was partly because of morning inbound traffic, but no, he was taking the day off & wanted to sleep in.  But since I assumed it was morning traffic, I responded, ‘But you want me to deal afternoon traffic.” So he texted back that he didn’t know I had planned for today, and let’s do Saturday instead, and that it was his mission to fulfill my fantasy Saturday.  I, again, asked him to please not shave anything, and he texted back about my ‘demands’. Joking, but still.  I woke up around 1, feeling so intently physical as though we had made love.  I was trembling.  I rarely have sex dreams. It’s the anticipation.  This is why we  have agreed to play the odds, but that’s what he said about Easter, and then he said he’d feel bad if I got sick.  All bets are off.  We haven’t gotten sick yet, it’s just him and me.

That addressed, my stepmother called and said my father was in the hospital. His breathing was labored.  This is old age and complications. Since the quarantine started, he’s been confined to his room at the nursing home, as have been all residents.  Like prison, to avoid transmission.  He is confined also to a wheelchair.  His circulation is bad due to inactivity as well as diabetes. We all die of something.  Nobody just dies.  But he’s not dead yet.  Also talked to my sister. Amazingly, they sold their house the first day it was on the market and have put a deposit on a home in Tennessee.  I’m sure life will be better—and cheaper, for her down there. The house showed amazingly well considering the rooms are generally small and the house is a bit dark, the layout is sort of not useful.  No matter.  My father knows he will probably never see my sister ever again.


The Moral Compass, Lockdown, & Covid 19

April 11, 2020

Day 12: If you’ve been reading my posts, you know I’ve been keeping a journal of this no good, incredible, surreal very bad situation. Although my book, Polyandress, is not well-edited, I address several matters of integrity. I try to act with integrity.

The dog groomers, most of whom either own or work for micro-businesses (businesses that gross under $500,000 a year) are totally freaked out. They risked a lot to buy or open businesses,for independence, and for integrity. Now, many groomers are reporting that both PETCO and PetSmart are remaining open and challenging the closing orders all over.  Jokes on them. the courts are closed, for the most part.  But how arrogant.  Clearly no integrity there.

As I stated in my last blog post, my Muse owns a small business in a small town, and he is keeping his business open.  He has told me that he is taking precautions, but I am really shocked at how busy his business remains. In my high density, inner-city neighborhood, the only people you see out—-for the most part—are people walking dogs and crazy people…and landscape businesses. I guess they feel they aren’t actually interacting with the public.  Muhammed reports to me that his business is steady all day.  I can’t bear to turn on Fox news, but I’m thinking that this is where these unconcerned idiots are getting their “facts”

Late in the afternoon, Muhammed texted me that if we don’t get together by the end of the month, we won’t be able to see each other until late May, because he is taking a hiatus.  Hiatus?  Who talks like that?  I asked him if he was going away.  He said he wasn’t.  He said he just had to refrain from sinning, and he’s Moslem and very private about his religion.

He said in his profile he was not religious, but clearly, his parents were to name him Muhammed and live in white bread Christian country. So he is taking Ramadan seriously.  30 days of no eating or drinking between sunrise and sunset.  I  remember when Baidoo( a friend from Senegal who worked at Northwestern in the library) invited me to break the fast. It had to be December or January that year. In theory, the days were shorter.  There had to be at least  8 of us in the apartment.  Some of us said it was already dark, and it was Amadou who said—- according to the chart —-it wasn’t for 10 minutes (Amadou—what a fucking mistake he was. I could throttle Baidoo for that. It was Baidoo’s revenge for me being ‘bossy’)  But I have other Moslem friends who don’t fast.  Muhammed texted that we can still talk, just not anything dirty. Well, what’s the point of that?

I respect his beliefs and this time of reflection, but sex is not a sin to me.  I have a moral compass, and this is where the rubber hits the road.  I don’t have an ‘idea’ of God.  But look here:  This man has crossed my path.  He is not a Christian. He can support himself. He seems responsible.  He knows what he wants and what he doesn’t want.  I tell him that my book, Polyandress, is really about integrity, and all the choices that involve making ethical decisions, and we are being tested now.  He keeps enticing me, and  I am a wreck…or was.  This must be how God is really manifested:  He sends you a lover but then brings pestilence to the world, and you have to make a moral choice:  do what you know has to be done to try to save the world (& yourself)  and put off personal gratification, or be drawn to the flame and quench your desires? This is really a terrible situation.

He texts me:  “I wish things were normal so you  could come over tonight.” He is playing hardball, so I text back, “Oh, my love, you have no idea the personal turmoil that this is causing me.  I am very aroused.  I am thinking you are the devil. You are tempting me and I have to be strong in a country where integrity is a joke. When I finally get to touch you I will set you right for sure.  Now my nipples are hard. Damn you!”

Day 13.  We had a pleasant conversation last night, but now, this morning, I am on Facebook, and the groomers are still in panic mode in general.  It seems the country is really divided between those of us taking this seriously, and those making excuses & using hope as an excuse to not be responsible—and those who are in total denial.  This weighs on me because Muhammed still has his store open. I texted him this morning & begged him to either close or put up a sign on the door to not admit anyone not wearing some kind of mask and not allow more than a certain # of people into the store at a time, AND to make everyone put hand sanitizer on their hands. Gloves are bullshit.  He’s in rural America & it’s now all over.  I don’t think he  ‘gets’ the  ‘moral compass’  thing.  I can’t tell.  But I put him to him straight: if he ever wants a real blow job, he has to get responsible.

He texted back that he doesn’t understand what one thing has to do with the other.  This is bad.  You can’t tell me you are taking a month for Ramadan and sex is one of the worldly sins (or whatever it is that would cause you to abstain) and think it is ok to allow your customers to believe everything is fine and nobody is in danger because of their stupidity.  The idea that he would challenge me on this makes me profoundly sad.

As my regular Chase bank brank was closed, I went to the Chase bank by Loyola, which is within walking distance, to make a deposit. Nobody was on the street.  All the retail stores and restaurants are closed. Some fast food places, the White Hen & 7-11 are open.  Then I went back online, and the groomers in rural America—especially the mobile groomers, are acting like this is no big deal & it’s business as usual.  They are not experiencing this epidemic as dramatically as the rest of us are.


Day 14 

A nice day, but what’s the point?  The country is really divided, and pretty much between those of us who know Trump made a bad situation worse and

those of us who don’t understand epidemic.  Some dog groomers are posting they are out in their mobile grooming vans, busy beyond belief. Muhammed’s store is very busy.  I think next week when it’s Easter, people there will still be in denial…going to churches, or family events. Then, about 2 weeks later I believe there will be a spike.  We are never going to get through this s long as this is happening. It’s amazing I haven’t killed Kunihiro.  He’s taken to ‘cooking’.  Usually,

it’s ramen or pasta, and an elaborate sauce to go over the noodles.  He accused me of spitting on him  when I was talking.  Sometimes….  I remembered when he first came to live with me when his English was still so rudimentary.  I wanted to know what his interests were, so I could help him learn (In the early 1980s, I coordinated an ESL program for Literacy Volunteers of Chicago, and we used Paolo Frieri’s ‘LIteracy in 30 hours’ as a guide to teaching).  This was before I understood that Kunihiro had a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering.  He liked cars, so I had him listen to Car Talk.  There was an ad in the paper for a video called ‘Big Trucks’. It was obviously aimed at kids, but it was a video of earth moving vehicles used in road construction:  big big tall wheels, like over  2 stories tall, and in the video, it showed explosions for blasting rock.  I bought it for him and he just thought it was great.  He was laughing and he said to me, “You really know me.”  That made me feel good.  Now 20 years later, social distancing in our house, because I spit when I speak. You know something? Fuck YOU.

Day 15  My Muse, Muhammed, is very stressed out, he has told me he has been working alone because one employee is sheltering until this is over, and another apparently is very ill.  My state senator, Kelly Cassidy,  emailed a map where all Illinois cases are.  In my zip code (mind you, the geographic area is only about 1-mile square, along Lake Michigan) there are 69 confirmed cases.  Out in Sycamore, where Muhammed is—-the map says not showing known cases due to privacy concerns, so it must be a small number, but having talked to a client yesterday,  she brought it closer to home. Her veterinarian died last week of Covid19, and someone in her dog training class was hospitalized. 

I continue to contact dog clubs.  I have gotten some terse emails back, and unfortunately, many emails bounce back because dog clubs don’t keep their websites up to date.  I had seen a post on Facebook that was addressing that the AKC had FIRED la all their field representatives. Not laid them off—fired!  Ok, there are no dog shows…but why not just lay them off?  Have they really inspected all the USDA  commercial kennels out there? The AKC is so mismanaged.  Really a shame, But also a shame that these dog fanciers aren’t keeping their websites current nor are they paying for Google ad words.  Unless you know the specific name of the club you are looking for, it is difficult to find a local club on Google, One parent club member did ask me how I found her, and I told her I used the AKC dog club website, But how many people actually looking for a pure breed would know how to do that? 

From the Museum of Erotic Art in Barcelona Spain

There are reports that in the black neighborhoods in Chicago, on the south and west sides, people are contracting the disease and dying in droves. Could it be more compromised health? Who knows? 

Day 16  It’s Tuesday, and the first really warm day we’ve had this year.  A bit humid.  I took the dogs for a walk and cleaned up the yard a bit.  I have to send out more marketing letters and pull myself together.  Cook County jail is releasing inmates just to stop the spread of disease. This guy, with previous felony convictions for robbery, assault & weapons charges complains  (to a reporter) that inmates are scared!  LOL—not my issue.  Don’t commit the crime if you can’t do the time.

I called my friend Karen, who is a bit more religious than I am and told her of my dilemma. The way I  put it was that the coincidences between my character Daler Singh and this guy Muhammed are too amazing.  I have to meet him. She doesn’t think God works this way.  Neither do I, but look at how it is.   Karen is a head hunter for investment firms, and she says more brokers are willing to meet others to discuss changing jobs because bonuses are not being paid out & they’re not making money except for the contrarian investors.  Well, of course. Several times I have told people during downturns (The Reagan trickle-down years were a time)  that if they had $2000 to buy some real estate. Even if it was in a slum, they’d build equity.  Now is 1 of those times.  But fuck that.  I want to be with a man who is hard all the time.

So, while the situation doesn’t seem to be getting any better in a hurry, Kunihiro went to the grocery store this morning.  He didn’t even ask me if we needed anything, he just went—and for the most part, buying more of what we already had. With that, he’s exposed, because he wasn’t wearing a mask. This is the first time he went out in 2 weeks. So, I am going to try to see  Muhammed on Sunday. We’ll see how it goes.  I really want to see him, but he wants me to come in the evening, not during the day. He doesn’t want me to spend the night.  You wouldn’t think you would have to negotiate a romance, but apparently, you do.  I told him 7:p.m. was too late, as my round trip would be 3 hours, and I had, when he first contacted me, addressed the time and distance. He said it was no problem for him.  Well, it is a problem for me.  You couldn’t possibly be that good a lay for it to be worth 3 hours in the car for what?  15 minutes of ‘fun’.  Please.  don’t flatter yourself.   I didn’t want our first time together to be chaperoned by Kunihiro and 3 dogs.  And I told him that I understood and respected his boundaries, and I’ll see how it goes. I also reminded him, again, that the reason I have not been in a relationship for over 20 years is that the last guy put up so many boundaries, and the sex was never good enough to have to deal with such a lack of respect and I would not tolerate it again. That I couldn’t imagine the sex being worth it.  I sure hope that’s a dagger to the heart.  He has said he wants consistency.  Just like my character Daler Singh:  he doesn’t want to have to get used to a woman or have a woman get used to him.  He wants a woman to know him. Well, of course, most women want that in a partner, too;  a man who knows what she likes,  but I’ve known too many men who then want to sleep alone.  No cuddling, Fuck you all. Day 17  Since October, I’ve been seeing this holistic doctor, Meena Malhotra, and within the first few days being on her vitamins, my bursitis disappeared.  The problem is that she has a concierge practice, and this is NOT covered by Medicare.  I took over $7000 out of my Health Savings Account, and I DO feel much better. I’ve lost a bit over 20  pounds and about  20% of my body fat.  The problem is, my ‘membership ‘ is up, and I can’t pay $600 a month to feel better.  The vitamins alone are almost $300 a month. That’s insane.  I paid an embarrassing amount of money also to increase my sexual pleasure (when you are old, your hormones just disappear), and I really have to assess or reassess my priorities.  Of course, this situation can’t go on forever.  By the end of the month (especially if the hyper-Christian conservative idiots all gather in Church for Easter  and then congregate with their families) we should have thinned the herd sufficiently, with a roll-out of testing, to get back to ‘normal’—-or at least the new normal.

Day 18... Thursday, I think.  Am I being productive? Creative?  Muhammed has given me a lot to think about.  Not on purpose, of course. I doubt he is that self-aware.  We actually had a text ‘discussion’ (oh, the modern world) about…body hair.  He texted me that he was ready for me on Sunday (listen—if we have Covid19, we have it, and will cross the next bridge when we come to it, but I have not been within 6 feet of even 50 people in the last 3 weeks.  Him?  Fewer than 5 reported cases in his rural community… but I digress… I texted him to not shave (I  like a guy with facial hair. Like someone told Freddie Mercurty, I don’t date a guy who doesn’t have a mustache….).  He told me he had shaved his body.  OMG…why?  He said he sweats a lot,  it’s for hygiene, …and girls like it.  Not this girl. This girl wants her sex partner to look, feel, and smell like an adult.    How often do I turn to Freddie dancing around with light on his chest hair? (FYI—a good glimpse :   2:01—2:05 & 4:54—5:00, 5: 50—5:24).  This sort of confirms for me that not only has he been consorting with  Christian white girls,  but girls who don’t want to be with an adult.  So I put it to him plain:  I am making a lot of compromises to be with him under his terms, and for me, his body hair adds to my sexual experience.  I can’t believe we have to address this, but this is NOT a romance. This is a planned sexual encounter.  I guess I will have to spell that out for him, too. He has set the terms and I have acquiesced to his terms.  He keeps talking of love. He wants to be loved.   Maybe no other sexual partner has ever verbalized why she was unhappy, why she left, but I have no problem with this.  I have sought out, by elimination and not being overly descriptive in my profile online that I didn’t want a Christian—not only for the baggage that comes along with asking a deity for forgiveness but because I didn’t want a pasty European guy. But I also, in so many words, wanted a  partner who had experienced what I had experienced in society:  being another.

Day 19. What did I do today? I did some more marketing. this takes time because, as I’ve said, the club links to the AKC website are for the most part, not good. I then did some laundry and went for a bike ride. It looks like it may snow Sunday night, Muhammed suggested possibly getting together tomorrow instead. However, now it looks like he has to work. He has to work tonight. I imagine it’s a before Easter rush. I have no idea. Yesterday he actually texted me (talk about surreal: I was standing in line outside at Trader Hoe’s waiting to get in, the whole social distancing ting. Lots of the stores are not letting a lot of people in at 1 time) asking me if I shaved my armpits and legs, because ai told him I had never shaved my pubic hair, Ever. He expressed that it was probably a generational thing. Really? are girls now shaving their pubic hair to look underage for men? I know women get Brasilians, but is that what girls do? I find this so hard to believe. In fact, there is a Facebook group for people who love seeing the sexy photos of Freddie Mercury, not just with his Persian python, but the many videos of him half-naked with his chest hair. More surface area to feel. Pheromones. Muhammed wanted to know why. i said he liked big boobs, and I like body hair on a man. Tomorrow is day 20, but i will go with this now.