“Must Love dogs”

Realizing that this is my last chance for romance (who am I kidding….a sex life…) and knowing several friends who met their mates online, I decided to try online matching.

There are many problems to this approach if you are picky and not desperate.

One is; that the companies that offer the databases have a lot of trouble with SAVING your information. They ask for the same information every time.

Another is: men don’t tread profiles. They look at your photos and decide you are the one. Their profiles are vague as well. It’s as thought they don’t know themselves.

Another issue is that the website owners do ‘bait & switch’. You can look for free, but if you try to respond, you must pay; worse, they make it so the fee automatically renews to your credit cared if you don’t stop it. I have written in my calendar when to stop payment, but still…

Yet another issue is…proximity. So many guys respond and think that we both should travel an hour or more to get to know each other. I don’t think so. I have turned down jobs because I have to be in traffic. I know how important proximity is to intimacy. I guess most men either don’t think about this or don’t care, but I’ve been in long distance relationships and I am looking for a guy to be with physically. You want phone sex? Pay me.

I don’t want to jump into any more missionary position sex, nor do I want to wear high heels, a garter belt & stockings, be tied up, you get the gist.

The other issues is that I don’t want to be with a Christian man (unless he’s from southern India—part of another long story…) I don’t care if these guys don’t think they are religious, it’s a cultural thing. It’s part of being part of the dominant culture, a culture I can barely wrap my tiny brain around.

We Jews acquiese a lot. In an urban area, you don’t find many people who ar overtly anti-semetic, or do you? So many people think Moslems, Hindus, and Sikhs are all the same, and ‘godless’.

I am exotic, and I am a really good lay, and I won’t compromise on this. To go to all this bother and have to get used to accomodating another personality is exhausting to me.

I admit it. The character I’ve been writing about: the perfect, handsome, sexy young man, has been taking up a lot of real estate in my head and I am comparing prospects to the imaginary lover. It’s a problem I created porn myself, but it’s something early on I don’t care to discuss with strange men. One guy actualy asked me my bra cup size. It’s apparent from my photos that I’m built like a Khajuraho statue. Why would you think it appropriate to ask about my underwear before anything else? I think it would be inappropriate to ask if you need Viagra to get it up, but I am dealing with old men here.

What keeps coming to mind is something my widowed grandmother told me about why she wasn’t dating at age 50. She said these guys are looking for a cook and a nurse. She didn’t say sex, but I got the gist. Both of my grandmothers told me to look for a man to keep me in the style to which I want to become accstomed.

I have to consider all this. Usually, what I first reveal, other than the fact that I own my own home, is that I live with a man, and we’ve lived together for 18 years. It’s my most successful relationship. I know little about him except his persona.

I tel them I am a dog trainer, but apparently that means nothing.

I don’t want to talk to men I don’t know about being a figure model or writing erotica. I’ve got questions of my own.

We all want someone we can share a life with and be ourselves. I just wonder how many frogs I have to kiss?


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