Some are More Equal Than Others

I’ve blogged about  my family dynamic before, and I am sure other families have this struggle.  You know a family member is not thinking right, and another family member is enabling  the mentally ill one to continue to  be ‘aberrant’.

I learned that after I called the health department on my brother(several years ago), he was already in foreclosure (apparently, my father did not know this, but it would not have mattered).  So, the family  legend is that my brother was ok until I ratted on him. That was the start of his problems.  Apparently, my father thinks that he wouldn’t have gone into foreclosure…because apparently my brother lied to him about it.  I am sure my father would have paid his mortgage.  After all, my father gave my brother $7000 to  bail out of jail.  While he was in denial about this, and getting evicted, his water was turned off. As my niece said, “He could not even flush a toilet.”  Still not clear that my father knew this, but my father still thinks it’s a lack of common sense—not mental illness.

My brother moved to a commercial area, still  continuing to not throw away garbage, still breeding snakes, mice, and rats. He apparently turned on his air conditioner, and the businessman next door called the police and said, “I think there’s a dead body in there.”  Apparently, the postman did this too—-but apparently the police. did not get a warrant.  However, the landlord moved to evict him.

Since I was not there, and only heard this from my sister (who also hears another side from my father, who believes my brother’s problem is—again—– a lack of common sense, and there is no odor), not sure what order all this happened in.  What we do know is my brother had some sort of horrible skin infection on both legs….from June (this is what happens to heroin addicts:  they don’t die of heroin addiction unless they take an overdose.  They die of the secondary  physical ailments they ignore), and  was in the hospital in early August to be treated.  While hospitalized, he got evicted, and my FATHER was aghast and called my sister, and asked if my brother could move in with her. She told him he could not (she had taken him in over a decade ago, and although he agreed to have no animals, within a month he  moved in snakes and mice). So, my father  bought my brother a mobile him to live in. My sisters and I think he should move in with my brother for a month and then decide if it is a lack of common sense, or if my brother is mentally ill. My brother is 59, my father is 88.

Since I continue to be blamed for my brother’s behavior, I  really see no reason to  be in contact with my father.  He blames me when he speaks with my sisters, but will call and  expect idle chatter as though everything is normal and just fine, and I am oblivious.  He will also  complain about my brother, but now  we sisters will cut him off, as we’ve been hearing the same thing for decades. It pains me to see my father so distressed, but he chooses to believe my brother is more credible than  his three daughters and his wife.  Yes:  one male child is worth more in aggravation and monetary outlay than  three  female children.

I had mentioned that if my brother had  paid 10 years into Social Security, he might be eligible to go on mental disability—but he’d have to be evaluated by the foxes running the henhouse.

I have to think of it this way (correct me if I am wrong), but talk therapy is not going to change anything….but not being able to continue to raise snakes, mice and rats—or have access to the internet–might change things.  All I know is, somebody is going to die, and the other is going to be unhappy, but we girls and my stepmother will be relieved.

Many of my friends are concerned about ‘the homeless’.  There are men with signs at busy traffic intersections, begging for money, holding up signs that say:  “I made some bad decisions…”  But for my father’s wealth, my brother could be one of them.  Having  bullied friends and family, lied to them, stolen from them, many people still feel these people are  entitled to some security.  I used to work for an agency that  provided shelter to the homeless.  Problem was, these guys didn’t want to  live by the rules.  They didn’t want anyone telling them what to do, and didn’t care who they disturbed…so we wouldn’t provide shelter to them. They weren’t stupid. they weren’t physically ill.  They weren’t women and children. They were assholes.  I’m not sure what the solution is except to bring them out to places where they can farm.  Mental illness is awful.  I’ve been mentally ill.  However, nobody can make you seek treatment.

There  are a lot of issues I care about.  This is one reason i  write this blog, but  asshole men who think they are entitled to  a comfortable life  just because they are men…is not  high on my list of concerns.


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