It Really is Because We’re ….Girls….


Junior high school is a  really awkward time for  kids…but particularly girls.  Your hormones are  making your body change radically.  You get your period (how dramatic is that), and your intellect is maturing.  I went through a really ugly ducking stage, and kids were really mean.  Where I went to school, there was a  cool clique, and they were the worst, but I sucked it up and made it through (I also had a lot of counseling, as  I had a lot of stress and depression I could not define (hormones?), although it was mostly at home with parents and sibs).  That was over 40 years ago, and now those mean people are my ‘friends’ on Facebook.  Whatever. We’ve all matured.

I lived and lived, and although, in the dog grooming industry there is a lot of  pettiness and drama  (due mostly to immature personalities and introverts),  I never felt it was an issue until about 10 years ago.  I had closed a my business, which wasn’t losing money, but wasn’t making money, either, and I thought I could  do better. Of course, I have mixed feelings about not sticking it out another year, but the last year was flat  due a combination of  die-off of older, very steady dogs, and the impacts of 9/11 and Enron, as well as very high energy costs, rumors of the economic bubble  which came to fruition a year after I closed the business (for those who don’t quite remember, Lehman Brothers collapsed  due to them  having too much unsecured debt, which included those bundles of chopped up mortgages, and the resulting credit freeze, and the end of the Bush, jr tenure…)

In any case, by that time my  industry had started to change. As  video tapes  were replaced by CDs (and now, downloads!!!), purebred dogs were replaced by designer dogs, and retailers  saw that  big bucks could be made from  people seeking pet products…and suddenly, the businesses I  could possibly work for were not managed by dog groomers or trainers, but by  retail managers who really didn’t know that much about dogs.  Worse,  although it was not my work or skills that bothered them,  it appears it was my confidence.

When I worked for Best Friends Pet Care,  initially, thought is was me….but other female employees told me it was not me…it was the manager, Bruce Blaine.   In fact, a contract trainer, upon hearing I took the job, told my friend, “I would not want to be caught alone in the building with him.”  I should have taken that to heart.   I complained to the regional manager, and she came out to observer him, and talk to him several times…and every time he retaliated by bullying us girls. Some just quit, but I was making a lot of money, and I felt if I could avoid him, I’d be ok. The thing is…he went out of his way to bully me.  Finally, I was offered a ‘job’ elsewhere (it turned out to be  lie—but those people are out of business now, so no matter…), and I quit.  Several years later, I learned Best Friends was sold, he was demoted to kennel staff, and moved to another location—but he was not fired.  I don’t know why he was not fired.

A contract worker  who confirmed this with me told me that in HER contract, she  specifically had it stated that Bruce was not allowed to talk to her.  So… why would so many credible people not be taken seriously?  Is it really because we don’t have penises?

I also learned that Bruce  said he fired me.  That’s what the new managers told me.  I corrected them, and told them why I quit, but the damage was done.  The guy with the dick has much more credibility than a girl.

There are several major employers in our area begging for groomers.  They post on Craigslist every day, and on many of the  pages groomers check for work.  A human resources consultant  had me for a meeting and asked me why they have so much trouble finding groomers.  I told her that  at least three-quarters of those jobs don’t really exist.  They just want applicants waiting in case  some girl makes an excuse about her kid and  doesn’t show up, or she dares to tell a client her dog has a painful ear infection, so they fire her, or…my very favorite:  having you sign a bunch of papers about the rules, then having a manager tell you to break a rule (like, say, a dog coming in for grooming that doesn’t have proof of  inoculations), and  firing you for breaking the rule—even though they told you to break it.  That’s legal. It’s legal to lie to you about how much you will be paid, too.  They probably do it to guys, but since over  70% of groomers are  GIRLS , it happens to girls more often.

It’s true, and that’s why we are being told to lean in.  Men  speak with authority, and  it’s easy for them to become managers because men (and even women) like  take charge kind of people. They don’t want a woman to be bossy, but it’s ok for  man to be an asshole.  Last year  I worked for a woman who appointed weak women to manage, so she could manipulate them, and she  hired a male architect because he talked a good game, and he ripped her off royally.  Several people told her that (including men), but she  didn’t want to believe a guy she had paid and trusted had taken advantage of her.

Several women told me to just swallow this.  It happens, this is how it is in the industry, get used to it.  We women make it worse for ourselves because we are dog trainers and used to being in charge.  Men are threatened by us.  Right—and so they  have made it impossible for me to even be interviewed, yet they are still begging for women to make money for them.

That’s what it comes down to, in my industry. They don’t have the skills themselves. They don’t want to do physical labor, and  now, the industry has changed enough, that there are more mixed breed (excuse me–designer dogs like Doodles and Teddy Bears) coming in for grooming—or should we say SHAVING— than purebreds…so your TALENT isn’t really needed any more.   They can get a grooming school graduate who never even groomed or trained her own dog to work for a lower  per centage or hourly wage…and if she dare balks….there’s another one waiting.   I am sure this is true in many industries.  The  girls don’t remember feminism, or the push for  women’s rights….that was  40 years ago!    They will always think the problem is themselves.  This is true in so many industries, and so many workplaces.

 

 

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