Sex ed 101—What every young person should know….

There are books and books and all sorts of stuff written about the physiology of sex.  There’s the Kama Sutra.  But there is nothing like good information.

One of my friends (we’ll call her Joan)  used to live with what they used to call, “A Round Heeled Woman.”  Sally was always  bringing a new guy home.  She had long, blond hair…& that was about it. Friendly.

In any case, one day Sally complained to Joan that she was seeing so much of her new boyfriend she didn’t have time to do her laundry.

“He’s got a laundry room in his building, doesn’t he?” Joan asked Sally.

“Sure!  But I don’t know him well enough to ask to use his laundry room!”  Sally responded.

“Look, ”  Joan replied, “If you know him well enough to have sex with him, you know him well enough to ask to use his washing machine.  In fact, ask him if you can drive his care. If  HE doesn’t know you well enough to let you drive his car, YOU don’t know him well enough to have sex with him.”

Sounds logical to me.  Let me tell you about my former client, Barbara.

Barbara wasn’t a great client, but she took such good care of her Maltese, Skippy, that I was always happy to see her.

One day she came in and told me she was getting married.

“How did you meet him? I asked.

“Actually, it was at my high school reunion. We were both now divorced, and the rest is history!”

I didn’t see Barbara for about 4 months, when she brought Skippy back.  When she came to pick him up after the grooming appointment, she told me she was moving to California.

“With your new husband?”  I asked.

“No…I called the wedding off.”

“What happened?  Did you find out he was insolvent?”  I asked, joking.

“How did you know?”  Barbara responded.

“Just a lucky guess. What happened?” I asked.

“Well, I asked him if I could quit working, and he said I could, so I did, and then I asked him how to get on his health insurance and discovered he didn’t have any, and found out he didn’t have a lot of anything else, and it was down hill from there.”

Now do you understand why cultures have ‘bride price’ and ‘Ketuba’ ?  Americans & Europeans   are so frivolous about sex—and will engage in sex  impulsively—but ask about finances, and that is the ultimate taboo!  Yet— more marriages and relationships succumb due to lifestyle choices (drug use, religious practices…& how partners spend or save money) than for infidelity!

How can you tell if it’s love?  Does it matter?   Do you think having sex with a person  before it is love will help you decide how to view the relationship? Will discussing how you budget help you decide if you want to  even go to dinner with this person?

In east Africa,  for at least a while, they were doing a lot of marketing about  sex and relationships to young girls. There is no public aid.  You have a child, and your family can’t support another mouth, the baby dies.  That’s how it is in a lot of places.  In the U.S.,  we are still so reluctant to  tell girls  that Prince Charming is not going to come along.  I am dismayed that the situation has not changed in my lifetime.

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